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MothandRust
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Date Posted:11/11/2006 5:33 PMCopy HTML

You might be a fundy if you...- You see nothing wrong with stating "facts" about what God thinks as if you are His personal secretary.- Know what "OSAS Theology" is.- Regulary find yourself discussing the finer points of the Pre-Trib Rapture.- Make sweeping statements like: "there's more evidence that Jesus existed than there is that Julius Ceaser or Alexander the Great existed!" - Complain about christians not being allowed to practice their religion in foreign countries, yet when someone tries to set up a Hindu temple/Mosque/Pagan or new age bookshop in your town you go ballistic and think it shouldn't be allowed.- Own a gardening business but refuse to do work on a gay couple's house.- You think Brontosaurs lived peacefully with man during the time of Job.- You believe the last days are imminent but that doesn't stop you buying more and more property- Your typical "lay me down to sleep" prayer uses the phrase "Lord Jesus/Lord God" more times than the Bible.- You swear god and Jesus love absolutely everybody, and yet you rail on in the next minute about how gays, liberals, pagans, and foreigners are going to be condemed to Hell without mercy. - You believe without every word written in the Bible is infallible truth, you have no doubt we came from dirt and there are talking snakes, and you are more than happy to say Judas died in all of several ways listed in the Bible with a straight face.- You think Brontosaurs lived peacefully with man during the time of Job.- God regularly opens up convienent parking spaces, JUST FOR YOU.- You think everyone but those who believe exactly what you believe are going to be burned in hell forever. - Even if they believe what you believe, if they happen to be gay or more liberal than you, or different from you in some other way, they are still going to be tortured for all of eternity. - You think people who enjoy science fiction and fantasy because they actually have an imagination (unlike you who have suppressed your imagination), especially those who enjoy the Harry Potter novels, are going to be in hell. - You think that anyone with a brain who actually uses it and realizes that evolution, not creation, was responsible for bringing life to earth is going to be tortured for all of eternity. - You think that being tortured for all of eternity for any reason is an appropriate punishment.- You can't grasp basic scientific information and go on struggling to fit square pegs into round holes.
[LINK SiteName=Mothrust: Movies and Modern Myth Target=_blank]http://aintchristian.blogspot.com.au/[/LINK] Be nice, for everyone that you meet is fighting a harder battle - Anita Roddick
bridges burnt Share to: Facebook Twitter MSN linkedin google yahoo #1
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  • Register:26/09/2006 9:10 AM

Re:You Know You're A Fundy When ......

Date Posted:21/11/2006 7:01 AMCopy HTML

Hey, settle down..

I think you're bordering on blasphemy when you say that God is not responsible for sorting out my personal parking space issues.

Why, I always got a space within at least 45 minutes of praying for one, 60 minutes on a Saturday morning but I guess that's because God had so many other requests it took him a bit longer to coordinate it all! I just had to trust in him and he would provide.

"Once you"ve crossed over there"s no turning back, once that burning bridge is gone"
Alison Krauss
anon1 Share to: Facebook Twitter MSN linkedin google yahoo #2
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  • Register:20/09/2006 5:13 PM

Re:You Know You're A Fundy When ......

Date Posted:23/11/2006 1:08 AMCopy HTML

you might be a fundy when........

 - when you think that everyone who isn't in your church,  is a heathen

- when  you believe people are healed from being Gay when they receive the Holy Spirit.

- when you think, other churches are luke warm and are going to burn in Hell

- when you judge people  in your church as to whether they are "on the ball" or not.

- when you threaten fellow church members with hell-fire and damnation if they don't obey and follow the teaching.

- when you keep on harping on about judgement day.

- if you obtained a fire-arms licence to protect yourself incase  the Y2K  bug kicked off.

- if you think the Y2K  bug will actually  occur instead in a few years time.

- when you have to ask your elder for permission to go home to see your friends and family.

- you think only your church will be caught up in the rapture, and other luke warm christians will have to endure the full wrath of the apocolypse.

- Speaking in tongues, is the only sign of being  'baptised in the Holy spirit'

- When you are being baptised in water.... that every single part of your body must be under water,  so when baptising someone in your bath,  you need to 3 people to shove someone under water and hold them there, while the elder/pastors/cell-leader prays for them.

- when you take bread-and-wine every Sunday

- when you make unleavened bread on the day of your meeting for communion.

- you believe the bible is the perfect and complete true word(s) of God. 

- you only read from the KJV, and consider all other modern revisions are dangerous corruptions of the truth.

- when a tongue or an interpretation or a prophecy is given during a meeting, it starts off with  "So saith the Lord God...   "

- when you go to two meetings a week,  also possibly an additional prayer meeting or band-practice, plus organisation nights,  work nights, mens or womens nights.

- ohh and finally, you 're a fundy, when you believe God will is only interested in saving the (BI) tribes of Isreal .      Salvation isn't promised to all mankind !

 

 

It"s never too late to leave. Even if yon"ve been in the Assembly a long time.
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Re:You Know You're A Fundy When ......

Date Posted:30/11/2006 1:23 AMCopy HTML

you're a fundy when....

.... the head man is a PASTOR,   and not a minister of a priest.

... when the elders are called  OFFICERS.

... when you have coloured charts in Revelations in your Bible,  and you think most people won't be caught up in the rapture.

 

It"s never too late to leave. Even if yon"ve been in the Assembly a long time.
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