'Get more involved or risk getting put out!'

Forum for ex-members of Revival Churches

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Title: 'Get more involved or risk getting put out!'

Revival_Centres_Discussion_Forums > Reviving from Revival > Introductions and Stories Go to subcategory：

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rebelsister

Rank：Not a lurker

Score：870

Posts：39

From：Unknown

Register：05/12/2004 2:56 PM

Date Posted：07/12/2004 7:08 PMCopy HTML

Hello everyone,I got this website emailed to me by a dear friend. It is very interesting.

I started going to Brisbane RCI in 1988. I did the usual salvation stuff and trouped off to RCI for 4+ meetings a week. My husband came along too, although I believe he only came for the social aspect. We brought up 3 kids along the way. I was very involved in the fellowship, Sunday School, Kids Camp, Rangers, Music, Drama, Fund-raising, outreaches, you name it. This went on for many years and we grew in stature in the assembly.

When the split came in 1995 we became even more involved and stood by the senior pastor. My husband and I were eventually included in the Senior Pastors 'friends' circle and his wife became one of my best friends.

A few years ago, my husband got overly friendly with a young woman who was staying with us from overseas. In my distress, I turned to my senior pastor, who had given consent for my husband to go away with this woman, alone, for a nine day holiday. At the same time, a young pastor had left RCI, causing a great kerfuffle, and consequently, the senior pastor had his mind on other things. A heap more stuff happened. I was very distressed and to cut a long story short, the senior pastor started giving me conflicting advice about how to fix my marriage. When my husband was 'put out' none of us received any counseling on how to deal with it. My 3 kids were all going through adolescence and it was a terrible time. I was so grateful that a couple of close friends took me under their wing and helped me through. We were dropped from the 'inner circle' and treated like lepers, especially by the pastors wife. I got to the point that I hated going to meetings. All I saw was hypocrisy. They didn't really give a damn about us.

I was getting marriage 'counseling' from a man who had no idea of what we were going through and was certainly not qualified.It seemed that every time I walked into the hall, he was waiting to discuss my personal business. We sat in the assembly seats with NO privacy, in earshot of anyone who walked by. We were being discussed in area meetings, among people who had no right knowing my private business. I rang Simon Longfield to voice my distress. I might as well have talked to a power pole.

Around this time, another friend of mine was going through similar things, and was treated like crap. I felt so angry for him and the way he was being humiliated from the platform. I stopped all involvement in the assembly and was eventually threatened to get back involved or be in danger of being put out. By this time I was past caring and had found a new rebellious voice with which to speak. The meek and mild doormat that they knew had changed. I told the senior pastor I would not be coming back. After a lengthy phone call, during which I let him have it with both barrels, he informed my house leader that he had 'put me out'. He had to have the last controlling word.

So, here I am. I have been to a few churches, but none of them do it for me. I am now involved in a prayer group at school and really enjoy the freedom to use what God has given me without condemnation and guilt. Of course, I lost the majority of my friends when I left, and that saddened me a lot, but I still have a couple who defy the pastors and continue to see me. And besides, the Lord has provided me with new friends. I feel sad about it all, and sometimes angry, but I have learned so much and am much more tolerant and less judgmental of others these days.

I enjoy catching up with ex RCI folk and reminiscing and having a laugh. I feel very sorry for those who allow the guilt to run their lives. Even my friends who are still there, and bag the place, wont leave because they think they can make a difference.I hope one day to find a small group to fellowship with. That will probably be difficult given that i am very wary of controlling men telling me what God expects. Meanwhile, I am rejoicing in the grace of God and everything He continues to bless me with.

Ex_Member Share to: #1

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From：Unknown

Register：21/09/2018 12:36 AM

Re：'Get more involved or risk getting put out!'

Date Posted：07/12/2004 9:31 PMCopy HTML

Hey there.

I don't want to even begin to patronise you, so if I come across that way then please forgive me. The only thing want to say to you is to be kind to yourself. There is no hurry to get your spiritual life 'in order' or anything like that. The last thing you need is a monkey on your back (or in your head). So remind yourself of that and take care of yourself. Finding a new church should be the last thing on your list. Try finding yourself post-RCI first.

And if you want to vent then please feel free to do so here...

HJS

Anonymous Share to: #2

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From：Unknown

Register：06/04/2001 10:54 PM

Re：'Get more involved or risk getting put out!'

Date Posted：08/12/2004 6:08 AMCopy HTML

Amen to that.

"Churches' are organisations set up by people mostly with good and honourable intentions. But, alas, they have to be structured and of course that means someone has to have some form of control. Please avoid at all costs.

The Word says that the Church is the Body of Christ. It has many parts. some parts don't even know if other parts exist or what function they have. There is one common thread. Christ is the Head. Every part should be connected well and truly to the Head if the Body is to function.

Stay connected.

Anonymous Share to: #3

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From：Unknown

Register：06/04/2001 10:54 PM

Re：'Get more involved or risk getting put out!'

Date Posted：08/12/2004 9:09 PMCopy HTML

$%*'`[Biggus Dikkus]%*'`@
The brisbane 'senior pastor' is a shining beacon of ignorance and stupidity.

Anonymous Share to: #4

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From：Unknown

Register：06/04/2001 10:54 PM

Re：'Get more involved or risk getting put out!'

Date Posted：14/01/2005 1:34 PMCopy HTML

Hi RS I read your story and can really relate to many aspects. I never made it to the inner circle though, I didn't take peanuts to the officer's meeting and opted not to attend, I thought they were more 'political' than of any real spiritual benefit to anyone.

It's taken me a year before I could even walk into a church without an overwhelming desire to snarl if anyone approached me with that overhuge Christian grin. My church attendance is based upon friendships that were established well away from any fellowship and I just ocassionaly pop my head in. This is not considered a problem and this church is just as Spiritfilled as any pentecostal church.

Not everybody is the church community lacks faith that God can't deal with you Himself, and He is certaintly not going to condemn you for wanting to establish your own walk with Him.

Cheers

MothandRust Share to: #5

Rank：Forum Oracle

Score：41550

Posts：1881

From：Australia

Register：27/02/2004 11:21 PM

Re：'Get more involved or risk getting put out!'

Date Posted：14/01/2005 8:51 PMCopy HTML

Revival churches love to spread the GOSSIP...oops, I meant Gospel!

As a houseleader I used to love the oversight meetings where we would spread the latest goss... for their own good of course. Each houseleader would go through each member's details and make spiritual judgements.

I delighted in pulling people aside to ask them where they had gone for the last few weeks and why they had missed meetings without calling me. Their salvation concerned me (oh geesh... get a real life huh). I enjoyed eavesdropping on all the private conversations between pastors and members around the supper tables. Still, I wouldn't judge them by me. I've always been a bit of a jerk.

How many times was I pulled aside for a quiet word of concern about nothing.

"Don't gossip" was a regular feature of talk themes... but we were so good at it.

My current church has not got that atmosphere of gossip, not as blatent, anyway. Perhaps it is a normal feature of smaller churches. I personally believe that they are so bored that gossip is the only thing that adds spice to the Revival lifestyle.

Like the new avatar HJ... good to see the end of Flanders... he really wasn't you.

Instagram and Twitter: @mothpete

rebelsister Share to: #6

Rank：Not a lurker

Score：870

Posts：39

From：Unknown

Register：05/12/2004 2:56 PM

Re：'Get more involved or risk getting put out!'

Date Posted：11/03/2006 2:10 PMCopy HTML

Hi Everyone,

Well its more than 12 months on since I put my initial post on this site and I am still going strong. I don't get here much these days as I am busy studying and making up for lost time spent at RCI being a dutiful wife. My relationship with God is stronger than ever and He has provided for me the same as He always did. I have some fantastic friends and although I still see some of my RCI (saintly) friends, they are so miserable and negative in their situations that I just rejoice for being out of that controlling, depressing environment. Praise the Lord! Wow, haven't said that in a while.

Anyway for those who are contemplating leaving and worrying about the consequences - don't. They only have the control over you that you allow them to have. Life after RCI is different, but good. I do not go to 'church' (organised religion) these days. Went around a few and didn't see the need to attend, although I met some really nice people. I still fellowship with my school prayer group and enjoy listening to all the different religious opinions. Thankfully, I don't feel the need to add mine, since it is between me and God. I actually get to do stuff now to help less fortunate people, rather than just offering platitudes and 'get saved' messages.

I am so grateful to Him for the circumstances that led to my leaving, although very unpleasant at the time. I now have time to spend with my kids on weekends instead of being stuck in a hall listening to banalities and hypocrisy. Life is good.

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Title: 'Get more involved or risk getting put out!'
Revival_Centres_Discussion_Forums > Reviving from Revival > Introductions and Stories	Go to subcategory：

rebelsister
Rank：Not a lurker Score：870 Posts：39 From：Unknown Register：05/12/2004 2:56 PM	Date Posted：07/12/2004 7:08 PMCopy HTML Hello everyone,I got this website emailed to me by a dear friend. It is very interesting. I started going to Brisbane RCI in 1988. I did the usual salvation stuff and trouped off to RCI for 4+ meetings a week. My husband came along too, although I believe he only came for the social aspect. We brought up 3 kids along the way. I was very involved in the fellowship, Sunday School, Kids Camp, Rangers, Music, Drama, Fund-raising, outreaches, you name it. This went on for many years and we grew in stature in the assembly. When the split came in 1995 we became even more involved and stood by the senior pastor. My husband and I were eventually included in the Senior Pastors 'friends' circle and his wife became one of my best friends. A few years ago, my husband got overly friendly with a young woman who was staying with us from overseas. In my distress, I turned to my senior pastor, who had given consent for my husband to go away with this woman, alone, for a nine day holiday. At the same time, a young pastor had left RCI, causing a great kerfuffle, and consequently, the senior pastor had his mind on other things. A heap more stuff happened. I was very distressed and to cut a long story short, the senior pastor started giving me conflicting advice about how to fix my marriage. When my husband was 'put out' none of us received any counseling on how to deal with it. My 3 kids were all going through adolescence and it was a terrible time. I was so grateful that a couple of close friends took me under their wing and helped me through. We were dropped from the 'inner circle' and treated like lepers, especially by the pastors wife. I got to the point that I hated going to meetings. All I saw was hypocrisy. They didn't really give a damn about us. I was getting marriage 'counseling' from a man who had no idea of what we were going through and was certainly not qualified.It seemed that every time I walked into the hall, he was waiting to discuss my personal business. We sat in the assembly seats with NO privacy, in earshot of anyone who walked by. We were being discussed in area meetings, among people who had no right knowing my private business. I rang Simon Longfield to voice my distress. I might as well have talked to a power pole. Around this time, another friend of mine was going through similar things, and was treated like crap. I felt so angry for him and the way he was being humiliated from the platform. I stopped all involvement in the assembly and was eventually threatened to get back involved or be in danger of being put out. By this time I was past caring and had found a new rebellious voice with which to speak. The meek and mild doormat that they knew had changed. I told the senior pastor I would not be coming back. After a lengthy phone call, during which I let him have it with both barrels, he informed my house leader that he had 'put me out'. He had to have the last controlling word. So, here I am. I have been to a few churches, but none of them do it for me. I am now involved in a prayer group at school and really enjoy the freedom to use what God has given me without condemnation and guilt. Of course, I lost the majority of my friends when I left, and that saddened me a lot, but I still have a couple who defy the pastors and continue to see me. And besides, the Lord has provided me with new friends. I feel sad about it all, and sometimes angry, but I have learned so much and am much more tolerant and less judgmental of others these days. I enjoy catching up with ex RCI folk and reminiscing and having a laugh. I feel very sorry for those who allow the guilt to run their lives. Even my friends who are still there, and bag the place, wont leave because they think they can make a difference.I hope one day to find a small group to fellowship with. That will probably be difficult given that i am very wary of controlling men telling me what God expects. Meanwhile, I am rejoicing in the grace of God and everything He continues to bless me with.
Ex_Member	Share to: #1
Rank： Score：0 Posts：0 From：Unknown Register：21/09/2018 12:36 AM	Re：'Get more involved or risk getting put out!' Date Posted：07/12/2004 9:31 PMCopy HTML Hey there. I don't want to even begin to patronise you, so if I come across that way then please forgive me. The only thing want to say to you is to be kind to yourself. There is no hurry to get your spiritual life 'in order' or anything like that. The last thing you need is a monkey on your back (or in your head). So remind yourself of that and take care of yourself. Finding a new church should be the last thing on your list. Try finding yourself post-RCI first. And if you want to vent then please feel free to do so here... HJS
Anonymous	Share to: #2
Rank： Score：0 Posts：0 From：Unknown Register：06/04/2001 10:54 PM	Re：'Get more involved or risk getting put out!' Date Posted：08/12/2004 6:08 AMCopy HTML Amen to that. "Churches' are organisations set up by people mostly with good and honourable intentions. But, alas, they have to be structured and of course that means someone has to have some form of control. Please avoid at all costs. The Word says that the Church is the Body of Christ. It has many parts. some parts don't even know if other parts exist or what function they have. There is one common thread. Christ is the Head. Every part should be connected well and truly to the Head if the Body is to function. Stay connected.
Anonymous	Share to: #3
Rank： Score：0 Posts：0 From：Unknown Register：06/04/2001 10:54 PM	Re：'Get more involved or risk getting put out!' Date Posted：08/12/2004 9:09 PMCopy HTML $%'`[Biggus Dikkus]%'`@ The brisbane 'senior pastor' is a shining beacon of ignorance and stupidity.
Anonymous	Share to: #4
Rank： Score：0 Posts：0 From：Unknown Register：06/04/2001 10:54 PM	Re：'Get more involved or risk getting put out!' Date Posted：14/01/2005 1:34 PMCopy HTML Hi RS I read your story and can really relate to many aspects. I never made it to the inner circle though, I didn't take peanuts to the officer's meeting and opted not to attend, I thought they were more 'political' than of any real spiritual benefit to anyone. It's taken me a year before I could even walk into a church without an overwhelming desire to snarl if anyone approached me with that overhuge Christian grin. My church attendance is based upon friendships that were established well away from any fellowship and I just ocassionaly pop my head in. This is not considered a problem and this church is just as Spiritfilled as any pentecostal church. Not everybody is the church community lacks faith that God can't deal with you Himself, and He is certaintly not going to condemn you for wanting to establish your own walk with Him. Cheers
MothandRust	Share to: #5
Rank：Forum Oracle Score：41550 Posts：1881 From：Australia Register：27/02/2004 11:21 PM	Re：'Get more involved or risk getting put out!' Date Posted：14/01/2005 8:51 PMCopy HTML Revival churches love to spread the GOSSIP...oops, I meant Gospel! As a houseleader I used to love the oversight meetings where we would spread the latest goss... for their own good of course. Each houseleader would go through each member's details and make spiritual judgements. I delighted in pulling people aside to ask them where they had gone for the last few weeks and why they had missed meetings without calling me. Their salvation concerned me (oh geesh... get a real life huh). I enjoyed eavesdropping on all the private conversations between pastors and members around the supper tables. Still, I wouldn't judge them by me. I've always been a bit of a jerk. How many times was I pulled aside for a quiet word of concern about nothing. "Don't gossip" was a regular feature of talk themes... but we were so good at it. My current church has not got that atmosphere of gossip, not as blatent, anyway. Perhaps it is a normal feature of smaller churches. I personally believe that they are so bored that gossip is the only thing that adds spice to the Revival lifestyle. Like the new avatar HJ... good to see the end of Flanders... he really wasn't you. Instagram and Twitter: @mothpete
rebelsister	Share to: #6
Rank：Not a lurker Score：870 Posts：39 From：Unknown Register：05/12/2004 2:56 PM	Re：'Get more involved or risk getting put out!' Date Posted：11/03/2006 2:10 PMCopy HTML Hi Everyone, Well its more than 12 months on since I put my initial post on this site and I am still going strong. I don't get here much these days as I am busy studying and making up for lost time spent at RCI being a dutiful wife. My relationship with God is stronger than ever and He has provided for me the same as He always did. I have some fantastic friends and although I still see some of my RCI (saintly) friends, they are so miserable and negative in their situations that I just rejoice for being out of that controlling, depressing environment. Praise the Lord! Wow, haven't said that in a while. Anyway for those who are contemplating leaving and worrying about the consequences - don't. They only have the control over you that you allow them to have. Life after RCI is different, but good. I do not go to 'church' (organised religion) these days. Went around a few and didn't see the need to attend, although I met some really nice people. I still fellowship with my school prayer group and enjoy listening to all the different religious opinions. Thankfully, I don't feel the need to add mine, since it is between me and God. I actually get to do stuff now to help less fortunate people, rather than just offering platitudes and 'get saved' messages. I am so grateful to Him for the circumstances that led to my leaving, although very unpleasant at the time. I now have time to spend with my kids on weekends instead of being stuck in a hall listening to banalities and hypocrisy. Life is good.