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Ex_Member
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Date Posted:19/11/2009 4:08 AMCopy HTML

The painful process of leaving the RF was a long and drawn out one. This was partly due to the fact that I never actually thought I would. There were problems I could see all around me, there were things that didn't sit right, but the thought of breaking peoples hearts was not an option. I can admit that now in hindsight, I stayed while my heart was gone because it seemed easier that way. Unfortunately, as many of you may know, you cannot sustain that sort of lifestyle for very long. I came across the 'pleaseconsider' site on my internet travels and that led me to further investigation. I saw all of this discovery as a blessing, it meant that rather than just having a vague sense of dissatisfaction, I now had something tangible to bring forward to my friends and family. I did this, and it backfired (as it often does). I got a lot of revivalist rhetoric thrown at me and soon retreated back into my hardened shell. But the answers I was given did not in anyway satisfy me. I had no idea who Ian was, and I had no intention of finding out. It was the message, not the person. However, after speaking to a senior pastor about my feelings, Ian the 'troublemaker' was brought up. I failed to see what the person who wrote please consider had anything to do with the doctrinal issues presented. Anyway, this continued for a few months and I recently pulled the plug, I was convinced not only of this new doctrine, but also of the falsities of my past.

The first couple of months away were great. I relaxed, I looked into different perspectives on Christ, I even dabbled in a bit of atheist thinking but found nothing of interest there. I felt free, heck, sometimes I would even go out for a few quiet drinks with the guys at work. I didn't go insane or drink myself silly, just a few enjoyable cold ones every now and then. I felt no guilt over this, I was enjoying life and loving the enlightenment God has blessed me with. However, my lack of actual planning soon showed. After not fellowshipping for a few months now, I have been letting all sorts of ideas into my life. I have read so many different things that I'm not actually sure what I believe in any more. And worse still, I don't know how to approach Jesus. Where do I go from here? Do I just start going to another group? Do I prey for further enlightenment? I guess I feel a bit lost, so much so that I can even feel my faith slipping.

I found this site today and I'm hoping some good may come out of it:) Thanks.
spitchips Share to: Facebook Twitter MSN linkedin google yahoo #1
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Re:'After the dust settles' - where to from here?

Date Posted:19/11/2009 4:52 AMCopy HTML

Hello Gabbyio

I relate a lot to your post. I, too, just stayed in RF knowing I was unhappy and not wanting to be there. It became more and more of a chore to turn up at anything.

Good on you for jumping ship .... it feels weird, ah? Working without a net, what if I run into someone, etc.

It is a year almost to the day since I walked and I can't express adequately here what a wonderful year it's been, looking back. It was such a change to feel unbound and free. Like yourself, 'I didn't go insane or drink myself silly' either.

So now you've come to the point where you want to know what to believe - or whether you believe anything - looking for enlightenment.

My suggestion, based on my experience, is to be 'foundational' (if that's a word) in your approach to Christianity. I was advised to try an orthodox church where the theology is sound. I didn't even know what that meant, to be honest. I have been attending The Evangelical Anglican church and have been more than happy. As well, I have been reading a different version than the King James Version that we were so pushed to read in RF. Enlightenment is coming in bite-size chunks and I'm understanding more and more about the peace of God and the grace of God. You can start to build a relationship again with a God that is so much more than we were led to believe. That's been my experience, anyway.

I come here quite often and have been blown away by the companionship and good sense that I've found. Ian has been especially helpful, as have many others. I've never been excited before to learn all the things we've missed out on. I'm trying to be discerning and, when recommended a book to read, try not to necessarily believe everything I read. At the same time, keeping my mind open to learning.

Anyway - will leave it there. I pray you are blessed in your search for a new Christian life - go for it. Old doctrines/ways of looking at things will drop away one at a time or in whole chunks. It's time to start again - as daunting as that may sound, it's a real joy, believe me. And so you will find the strength.

God bless you in your newfound freedom.

Chips
Didaktikon Share to: Facebook Twitter MSN linkedin google yahoo #2
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Re:'After the dust settles' - where to from here?

Date Posted:19/11/2009 5:06 AMCopy HTML

Tim,

First, I'm glad that you found "PleaseConsider" someways useful. Drew and I created the site with that very hope in mind. Second, feel free to contact me if you'd like to discuss any of the issues or concerns that you raised, above. My email address appears in the footer to each of my posts.

Blessings,

Ian

email: didaktikon@gmail.com
Uncoolman Share to: Facebook Twitter MSN linkedin google yahoo #3
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Re:'After the dust settles' - where to from here?

Date Posted:21/01/2011 7:53 PMCopy HTML

 I'm in the same position as you. Realising it was all lies and consequently leaving has left me not knowing what to do with myself. It feels like I'm back to square one, that I gained nothing in the time I was in RF because all of it has gone now. All the good things I experienced are now tainted. All the friends are gone. I'm now thinking I should perhaps just focus on living a normal life like everyone else: drink in moderation, look after myself, work on friendships I have "in the world", focus on my career, meet a man, have a family... But there's this lingering feeling of meaninglessness that I have ... I don't know if I'll ever get a sense of purpose back now that I no longer believe in the Bible, and it's very foreign to me to not have anything as a solid reference point. I still believe in God, so hope that God will show me a better way, I'm just scared of getting involved with any man-made organisation again, because I don't think anyone truly has answers. I'm tempted to just go wild and get into drinking and partying, like I did in the past. Maybe that's what I need to help sort my head out right now. 
Didaktikon Share to: Facebook Twitter MSN linkedin google yahoo #4
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Re:'After the dust settles' - where to from here?

Date Posted:21/01/2011 10:57 PMCopy HTML

Good morning, Guest.

I'm in the same position as you. Realising it was all lies and consequently leaving has left me not knowing what to do with myself. It feels like I'm back to square one, that I gained nothing in the time I was in RF because all of it has gone now. All the good things I experienced are now tainted. All the friends are gone. I'm now thinking I should perhaps just focus on living a normal life like everyone else: drink in moderation, look after myself, work on friendships I have "in the world", focus on my career, meet a man, have a family... Achieving some sense of normalcy in your life would certainly be a very good starting point. But there's this lingering feeling of meaninglessness that I have ... I don't know if I'll ever get a sense of purpose back now that I no longer believe in the Bible, and it's very foreign to me to not have anything as a solid reference point. It's worth pointing out that simply because the RF used the Bible as a launching pad for their nonsense, wresting its teachings this way and that, doesn't mean that what the Bible properly teaches isn't worth believing. I still believe in God, so hope that God will show me a better way, I'm just scared of getting involved with any man-made organisation again, because I don't think anyone truly has answers. I'm very much of the opinion that God has started to 'show you the way' by leading you out of the RF. Further, my reading of Scripture leads me to believe that he is a God of recovery, as that is largely what he does. I'm tempted to just go wild and get into drinking and partying, like I did in the past. Maybe that's what I need to help sort my head out right now. Sure. But did doing that 'sort your head out' the last time?

Blessings,

Ian
email: didaktikon@gmail.com
MothandRust Share to: Facebook Twitter MSN linkedin google yahoo #5
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Re:'After the dust settles' - where to from here?

Date Posted:22/01/2011 2:01 AMCopy HTML

Guest

"I'm tempted to just go wild and get into drinking and partying, like I did in the past. Maybe that's what I need to help sort my head out right now." 

Go a little wild. Have some damn fun that doesn't include clapping at choruses and politely smiling at 13 year old girls singing "Yes Jesus Loves me" on the stage of some pokey Revival church hall stage. Mingle with people... real people and enjoy the company all sorts of different types of humans without judging them because they're not 'Unified Revivalists'. Drink with them, laugh with them, and maybe dance with them as you celebrate life. Flirt a little and experience the high when a nice guy flirts back at you. Get some confidence back that that sect sapped from you for far too long, and you'll soon discover you don't need the Revival crutches to give your live 'meaning'. The meaning of life, 'In my opinion', is to be part of it. Not being stuck in a faux-Christian sect and dying a little more with every meeting.

All this can be done without breaking any commandments, but don't be scared to break some of the 'rules' that you've been trained to consider as 'sins'. You've got freedom and no 'big fishmen in little ponds' lording over your life demanding you do as they say.

Have a heap of fun and explore the planet. You're not back at square one; you just took the long way round the board and learnt a helluva a lot from it. I still feel as though I was robbed of 17 years, but who's to blame? And why bother looking living in regret. Party up and party down, but stay in control (not someone else's control).


[LINK SiteName=Mothrust: Movies and Modern Myth Target=_blank]http://aintchristian.blogspot.com.au/[/LINK] Be nice, for everyone that you meet is fighting a harder battle - Anita Roddick
prezy Share to: Facebook Twitter MSN linkedin google yahoo #6
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Re:'After the dust settles' - where to from here?

Date Posted:23/01/2011 11:32 AMCopy HTML

If I can add to what Moth has said, I think he is spot on, but do be careful out there. Its the same as Revival there are good and bad and everwhere in between people but saying that there are some wonderful experiences to be had, and some wonderful and amazing people, it truly is a great country we live in. Go out and enjoy it. God never intended for us to live in the "Revival" negative and under law world.
¡uıɐƃɐ ʎɐqǝ ɯoɹɟ pɹɐoqʎǝʞ ɐ ƃuıʎnq ɹǝʌǝu
cfcmi_survivor Share to: Facebook Twitter MSN linkedin google yahoo #7
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Re:'After the dust settles' - where to from here?

Date Posted:27/06/2011 4:32 AMCopy HTML

I share a common bond with the former Revivalists here, seeing that we all endured and walked away from an abusive environment.

Where to from here? that is a question only the indivdual and God can answer.  In my situation, I have run into other former members of my past affiliation; some returned to the church where they grew up, others chose to forgo church altogether.

Those who chose to attend other houses of worship did so not because of doctrine necessarily, but they sought a safe environment to grow and raise their families.  Others who abandoned organized religion altogether told me that their biggest challenge is learning to trust again.  That can be by far the biggest obstacle.

I cannot answer the question from the original post...only offer suggestions.  I am glad there are networks like this where we can speak freely and offer friendship and support as we all seek to heal.

John Cady
USA
RCI prophesies
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