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Date Posted:28/06/2007 11:13 AMCopy HTML

I thought it was urban myth, but there is actually a significant number of people who believe the world is flat and can'prove'it
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Re:What about a flat earth?

Date Posted:28/06/2007 11:13 AMCopy HTML

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I thought it was urban myth, but there is actually a significant number of people who believe the world is flat and can 'prove' it with the Bible (well, a small fringe group but that's too many). The 'Crazy' Creation Museum opening recently provoked me to see what else various Christians believe about our planet. I bet even Ken Ham thinks these flat-Earth guys are nuts, but then I also bet he's given the flat Earth theory a lot of thought - I don't wanna know - and don't even get me started on the Hollow Earth theory.

Flat Earther Quote: "The World governments that have lost many ships and submarines to the edge of the world, got together and formed the Ice Wall out of water they sprayed to form the wall.I have documents that I stole from one of those "lost ships".

Check out the FAQ's I found on their website. The words in green are my own commentary. Try not to let them talk you into believing their stuff eh? These Flat Earth society guys are actually serious...

1. Do you guys honestly think that the Earth is flat?
We don't think the Earth is flat, we know it is based on overwhelming biblical evidence. I'm sure there is, but see, this is how weird you can get when you use a misinterpreation of the Bible as a book of facts)

And a highly regarded Christian monk named Cosmas based his conclusions on the teachings of the Bible. The reason for Cosmas' belief in a flat Earth was the statement in Revelation 1:7 that, when Christ returns, "Every eye shall see him." Cosmas logically concluded that if the Earth were round instead of flat, people on the other side would not be able to see Christ's second coming. Can't argue with Cosmas with that logic... mainly 'cause he's dead now)

2. But Jesus himself never said that the Earth was flat, did he?
God did, and orthodox Christians believe that Jesus is God. Thus Jesus did in fact say that the Earth is flat. Ahh touche)

3. Do you have any scientific evidence to back up your claim that the Earth is flat?
Although our group associates the term "science" with the black arts and the occult, we have used it to disprove itself. Here's a "scientific" test that anyone can do right now. Go outside and simply look at the landscape. Does it seem flat or round to you? (They have an answer for everything!! They've thought this through eh?)

4. What about when you watch a ship set out to sea? You can literally see it dip under the horizon. How would that work if the Earth was flat?
Have you ever heard of waves? Don't buy used cars from flat earthers)

5. Why do you refer to Columbus, Copernicus, and Galileo, as "the devil's messiahs," or "Satan's sons?"
Because they are the most noted perpetuators of the global theory myth, and are burning in eternal hellfire for their lies. These men brazenly declared that the laws of nature conflict with the teachings of the Bible. These were Satan's sons? Who was mum, I wonder... bet she was hot!)

6. What's your beef with N.A.S.A.?
Aside from the obvious difference in opinion about the Earth's shape; our beef with N.A.S.A. is that they are a Satanic coven masquerading as a government institution. They use our tax dollars to forge photographs of a spherical Earth, and fake moon landings. They build giant missiles which they call "shuttles," and aim them at God. It's also common knowledge that N.A.S.A. is an acronym for "Not A Spiritual Association." Common knowledge??? amongst Flat Earthers perhaps - Yeah, everyone knows that acronym)

7. Do you think it's at all possible that the phrases in the Bible that refer to "The four corners of the Earth," were figures of speech or errors in the translation?
God is not mistranslated, and when you see him descend on a golden chariot in the sky from all points of this flat Earth you will know this to be true. This golden chariot seems a bit showy, don't you think? Pimp my chariot bitch!)

8. What about all those pilots who fly around the world every day? Surely they would know weather or not the world was round or flat.
Oh and they do... That's why it's one of our group's many responsibilities to help break the oath of silence imposed on the world's aviators by the Globeite Zeitgeist. Ohh, those fly boys and their secrets!)

10. Do you believe that the current Presidential administration is doing a good job enforcing spiritual values?
Yes and no. he's been rather lax when it comes to the Bible truth of a flat Earth. for shame President Bush... another strike against your name! - Stem Cell research and now a laxness on flat Earth)

11. What division of Christianity does your group represent?
We consider ourselves to be the only true Orthodox Christians, all other divisions are wrong. These guys have little tolerance for the Sphere-Earth Christians)

12. What can I do to help your movement?
You can download the images and slogans we use on our protest signs and stage your own demonstrations alongside other Christian fundamentalist groups. Umm, I wonder what sort of help is meant by from the 'Frequently Asked Questioners' - Help is definitely needed). Every time a group of Creation scientists hold a picket we'll be there preaching the flatness of God's creation.

Flat Earth Slogans you can use to HELP the movement:

* God Hates Globes
* Ban round Earth theory
* Our map doesn't spin
* Think inside the box
* Flat is Phat, Yo!
* Burst the global theory bubble
* The Earth is flat, accept it* Flat planet: it's the flat out truth
* Don't fall off the edge of reason Accept a flat Earth
* God's word is not irrational a round Earth is
* The Earth was created in 7 days and It's flat
* Trust your myopic vision, the world is flat

You really need to worry about people who believe 'Pirates 3 - At World's End' and 'The Flintstones' are non-fictional documentaries. EE-YUP... there's all kinda crazy out there on this big green blue planet of ours. "What a wonderful (Mad) World"... ohhhh yeahhh .... Moth (Peter B)

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