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dogmafree
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Date Posted:05/05/2007 1:55 PMCopy HTML

I'd like to share a few thoughts about the theme which is most central to this forum.... FREEDOM! With my young son having recently turned 10, we as parents have been tentatively relaxing the natural protective envelope that we have maintained with our children. A new bike is now the vehicle that he can ride to school on, or around to his friend's place. It represents both a concern that he could come to some terrible demise on the roads, and a coming of age where we trust him to exercise his own instincts and judgements. New responsibilities, new horizons! Being a good parent isn't the easiest of tasks... it's a job that requires constant re-evaluation and value judgements made within the realms of the present circumstances. Getting the balance right is like walking a tight-rope at times. It can be instinctual to want to wrap them in cotton-wool and protect them from all the world's nasties, but then, is thatreallyin their best interests, or are we allowing our own fears and paranoias to dictate our kid's experiences? What I find most validating is the gleam I see in my son'e eye as he returns from a Sunday avo mucking around with his friend's on their bikes. His spirit soaring with the sense of adventure he has been enjoying, as he tells me all about the "great time" he had. This is the essence of life at play as a young spirit spreads his wings, the tyrrany of parental control now weakened. Can you remember the feeling of exhileration when you first emerged from beneath your parent's protective wings? We all will have had different experiences and times when we first felt this sense of freedom. Then again, there are those to whom this won't relate to.... we all have had different paths. I can recall distinctly a similar feeling in my life. In my days, we flew around the neighbourhood freely on our bikes at an early age (times were a little different then). At my son's age, I was going on day adventures with my mates, riding our bikes down to the river, exploring the river with an inflatable raft, and making a campfire to cook our lunch, before coming home exhausted and glowing with the richness of the day spent! Later at about 15, I recall the heady feeling of my long hair flying through the biting cold night's wind as I returned on my bike from a Friday night out with my mates at the speed-way (with a few beers under my belt). Whenever and however we felt this taste of life, I think you can relate to what I'm talking about! IT IS THIS that is commonly robbed from the life of those who get caught up in the Revivalist lifestyle. The feeling of freedom, of exhileration of being subject to whatever life throws at us, the feeling of being able to choose your own path and change your mind if you want. Don't let ANYONE rob you of your freedom. It is your universal right. The notion of safety and protection from the woes of the world is a giant con designed to keep you in fear and subjection to the revivalist churches. To quote one of my favourite artists once more......... "Lend your voices only to sounds of freedom. No longer lend your strength to that which you wish to be free from". (Jewel Kilcher) DogmaFREE.
"for there is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so" Shakespeare (Hamlet, Act 2, Scene 2)
bindi Share to: Facebook Twitter MSN linkedin google yahoo #1
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Re:The insatiable taste of FREEDOM

Date Posted:05/05/2007 2:34 PMCopy HTML

Reply to : dogmafree

I'd like to share a few thoughts about the theme which is most central to this forum.... FREEDOM!With my young son having recently turned 10, we as parents have been tentatively relaxing the natural protective envelope that we have maintained with our children. A new bike is now the vehicle that he can ride to school on, or around to his friend's place. It represents both a concern that he could come to some terrible demise on the roads, and a coming of age where we trust him to exercise his own instincts and judgements. New responsibilities, new horizons!Being a good parent isn't the easiest of tasks... it's a job that requires constant re-evaluation and value judgements made within the realms of the present circumstances. Getting the balance right is like walking a tight-rope at times. It can be instinctual to want to wrap them in cotton-wool and protect them from a

Good post Dog!  You're very articulate and great at drawing the reader right in to the very thought you are expressing! LOL! I found myself drifting back in time to my childhood and the absolute feeling of freedom galloping through the hills on my horse with my friends,  lighting campfires and cooking oranges.. ( Blech! )... thats all we had because we had raided a near-by orchard! hahaha! But it was the thrill of it all!

One thing I have noticed with some of my other ex rev pals is that, after leaving, they have gone a little over-board in the whole 'freedom' thing.  Drinking to excess, some getting back into drugs, burning the candle not only at both ends but through the middle also! My analysis is simple..  When we have been entrenched in these organizations for a length of time, you lose touch with life on the 'outside'. When you leave, its like you become a child again. Have to learn all over again how to live in this world. Like a child learning to walk ... they take small steps then think they are invincible and are well able to run now! Only to have them fall down and get hurt.  Eventually life teaches us self control. Teaches us our limitations. Teaches us to find a balance. The institutions sheltered us to excess. Like an over protective parent, they said it was for our own good. 'Protected' us from too much. Instilled fear into us if we dared to 'step outside the door'. They took away our natural instincts of survival. Made us too reliant on them. Made us feel that would not survive without them. Coming out of these 'over-protective institutions' is like moving away from an 'over protective' parent. Some go crazy with their 'new found freedom'. It'll take time to adjust. If only these churches realized that we have to learn from our own mistakes. Allowed us to make our own descisions. Trusted our own judgements. Weren't so damn restraining! Maybe we would still be in them! Maybe we wouldn't of run off in the other direction!  Hmm... Just a thought anyways.

Once again... great post Snoop!

Bindi

" IF I COULD WISH FOR MY LIFE TO BE PERFECT, IT WOULD BE TEMPTING BUT I WOULD HAVE TO DECLINE, FOR LIFE WOULD NO LONGER TEACH ME ANYTHING."
Allyson Jones
dogmafree Share to: Facebook Twitter MSN linkedin google yahoo #2
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Re:The insatiable taste of FREEDOM

Date Posted:05/05/2007 3:47 PMCopy HTML

Yeah you got it Bindi! (hi five)

Brings to mind the movie, (I think called "the secret garden") about an English boy in the latter part of the 19th century. The poor kid supposedly had some illness, and was kept cooped up in a dark bedroom with hardly any contact at all with the world outside. He was a virtual prisoner in his own bedroom and probably kept ill because of his lack of sunlight, stimuli or exercise. As you'd expect, the boy ultimately found a few caring souls that coaxed him out into a beautiful garden outside, became well and developed a newfound strength, joy and enthusiasm for life.

It is child abuse to 'protect' children to such an extent, as much as it can be to not teach them standards and boundaries to live by. Getting the balance right is the challenge!

You're right too about those going wild after leaving the institutions. Lessons in 'boundaries' are important for these folk to learn.

Dog.

"for there is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so" Shakespeare (Hamlet, Act 2, Scene 2)
bindi Share to: Facebook Twitter MSN linkedin google yahoo #3
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Re:The insatiable taste of FREEDOM

Date Posted:05/05/2007 4:19 PMCopy HTML

Reply to : dogmafree

Yeah you got it Bindi! (hi five)Brings to mind the movie, (I think called "the secret garden") about an English boy in the latter part of the 19th century. The poor kid supposedly had some illness, and was kept cooped up in a dark bedroom with hardly any contact at all with the world outside. He was a virtual prisoner in his own bedroom and probably kept ill because of his lack of sunlight, stimuli or exercise. As you'd expect, the boy ultimately found a few caring souls that coaxed him out into a beautiful garden outside, became well and developed a newfound strength, joy and enthusiasm for life.It is child abuse to 'protect' children to such an extent, as much as it can be to not teach them standards and boundaries to live by. Getting the balance right is the challenge!You're right too about those going wild after leaving the institutions. Lessons in 'bou

Hi again Dog..

Yeah you got it Bindi! (hi five)....

Hahaha!!! reminds me of Borat! ... "Hi five!"

Brings to mind the movie, (I think called "the secret garden") about an English boy in the latter part of the 19th century. The poor kid supposedly had some illness, and was kept cooped up in a dark bedroom with hardly any contact at all with the world outside. He was a virtual prisoner in his own bedroom and probably kept ill because of his lack of sunlight, stimuli or exercise. As you'd expect, the boy ultimately found a few caring souls that coaxed him out into a beautiful garden outside, became well and developed a newfound strength, joy and enthusiasm for life.....

Wow! Notice, I'm sure you already have, the ironic similarities to our lives! First 'locked up' in these churches getting sicker and sicker, then 'escaping' to the beautiful world that was awaiting! Finding joy, strength, enthusiasm and a love for this life we have been blessed with!

It is child abuse to 'protect' children to such an extent, as much as it can be to not teach them standards and boundaries to live by.....

I guess a lot of us that became parents in these cults thought that we were doing the 'right thing' in passing on the brainwashing ideas we had been instilled with. I know I was guilty of it! Yes... It is a form of child abuse when you think about it. I've come across a few folk both inside and outside of the church that won't let their children do a thing! Being as I'm quite vocal with my opinions.. I've suggested it's unhealthy not to let them spread their wings a little. Kids need to become a little 'street-wise' to know how to survive in this world. If we don't give our children some credit for their own instincts, they will never know how to survive in the world.

Getting the balance right is the challenge!......

Ohhh.. and never a true word was spoken!!! To know the balance... A million dollar question! I guess we do, like I've mentioned before, what we think is right at the time. It will either come back and bite us on the arse later in life or turn out to be the right judgment!

I hope this thread keeps going Dog! There is a lot to comment on this topic! Well done!

Bindi

" IF I COULD WISH FOR MY LIFE TO BE PERFECT, IT WOULD BE TEMPTING BUT I WOULD HAVE TO DECLINE, FOR LIFE WOULD NO LONGER TEACH ME ANYTHING."
Allyson Jones
break free Share to: Facebook Twitter MSN linkedin google yahoo #4
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Re:The insatiable taste of FREEDOM

Date Posted:05/05/2007 10:35 PMCopy HTML

i remember only one time in my childhood i felt free and happy, we lived in queensland then, and i had a bike, and we lived near a whole lot of parks and bike trails. i used to go and ride all day befor i had to go home and deal with everything there. they were good times.

i didnt get to be free again till i was 18, when i left the church and felt justified in ignoring my parents, esp my dad who is very controlling esp when we were kids.

and i went wild, i did anything i wanted to do, i drank alot and hung out with "the wrong crowd" who despite it all loved me for me, and i have never forgotten that. i think i wanted to be numb, because i dont like feeling out of control.

so now i have grown up and i have two beautiful children, i still have friends who love me for me, infact ive realy created my own family- the kind of family you should have, with people who care about you and want the best for you, they also care about my kids, and activly include them and enjoy watching them grow up (i truly am blessed) and i have to negosiate the pitfalls of being a parent, let them have freedom but not too much, being there for them but not smothering them, not letting my fears of what might or could happen make them afraid of the world around them. so far i think im doing ok... well i hope im doing ok lol

Sea Urchin Share to: Facebook Twitter MSN linkedin google yahoo #5
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Re:The insatiable taste of FREEDOM

Date Posted:06/05/2007 1:16 PMCopy HTML

Reply to : break free

i have to negosiate the pitfalls of being a parent, let them have freedom but not too much, being there for them but not smothering them, not letting my fears of what might or could happen make them afraid of the world around them. so far i think im doing ok... well i hope im doing ok lol

Hey break free, you are doing more than OK - you are doing an awesome job of raising your children  Good on ya girl!

Love Urchin

Your unfailing love, O Lord, is as vast as the heavens; your faithfulness reaches beyond the clouds. Your righteousness is like the mighty mountains, your justice like the ocean depths.
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Re:The insatiable taste of FREEDOM

Date Posted:06/05/2007 4:59 PMCopy HTML

Reply to : Sea Urchin

Reply to : break freei have to negosiate the pitfalls of being a parent, let them have freedom but not too much, being there for them but not smothering them, not letting my fears of what might or could happen make them afraid of the world around them. so far i think im doing ok... well i hope im doing ok lolHey break free, you are doing more than OK -you are doing anawesomejob of raising your childrenGood on ya girl!Love Urchin

thank you

sending you big hugs

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