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MothandRust
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Date Posted:21/03/2006 2:13 PMCopy HTML

I doubt I will ever stop checking in on this site anytime soon... I'm a creature of habit and I have a short list of websites I routinely check everyday. I dunno whether that's healthy or not but it works for me for now. I'm unemployed at the moment and am feeling like a bit of a drongo.(edit 2005 - am working now - full time teacher primary school)When I left the Rev heads earlier this year it was like taking the bluepill (ala The Matrix) and sometimes I pine for the tight network of contacts I used to have. I am finding it vey hard to forget the close friends I had but then they make it easier by their attitudes to us. I recently bumped into the person who brought me along all those years ago and she had this to say (pretty funny actually); she looked at me very seriously,to my eyes, and said (in a way that only close friends would) "You stupid, stupid man... come back to fellowship... the Lord's returning soon and there's no time to waste" - pretty sad actually. I dunno if the Lord is returning one day, and I'm certainly not going to set my watch to the possibility.Just recently, during a healing service at my new church(2006 edit -I don't go to churches anymore)where people were 'slaying'at the prayer line, I got into a semi-argument about the validity of the practice.DONT SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF huh... BUT I was almost wishing that I remained in the familiarity of my old cult. Back there I didn't have to practice using my emotions, I could just sit and stare like a zombie. there I was an expert... there, someone told me what to believe... there I had a place... there I was the big man on campus. There I had much supper. Would I ever go back though... not on your Nelly! As Mel Braveheart once said "If you haven't got your freedom, it's all for nothing"... or something close to that.I missed out on a goodemployment opportunity recentlybecause of some bridges I burnt when leaving the Rev Heads... I shouldn't have made such a big noise when I left, but I was so passionate about declaring my disdain for all things Revival that I threw out somewisdom... thems the brakes hey?
[LINK SiteName=Mothrust: Movies and Modern Myth Target=_blank]http://aintchristian.blogspot.com.au/[/LINK] Be nice, for everyone that you meet is fighting a harder battle - Anita Roddick
MothandRust Share to: Facebook Twitter MSN linkedin google yahoo #1
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Re:The Moth and Rust story

Date Posted:16/08/2004 11:09 PMCopy HTML

Can I say, I really enjoy this room and the company. I have forgotten what it feels like not to believe in God. Part of me actually wants to suspend my belief and faith and just have wild worldly fun, lol.  I have lost a lot of faith, but mostly in people. God's great, but as far as supernatural omnipresent entities go... He really annoys me. Still... I like His book... sometimes.

I call myself a christian and go to church but I never pray. I can speak in tongues but am sick of doing it. I call myself a believer but have no desire to preach the bible to those around me. I like the bible, but I never read it.  Part of me feels guilty for not feeling like I should be trying to convert my co-workers. Save yourself, I have some ethics but am a cleptomaniac... I steal stuff if I can get away with it without guilt (office stationary, mp3s, and rich people's stuff). You may call me a hypocrite... but am just having a good fess up. I am a grumpy husband. I have never hugged my parents... I never want to, even though they are nice people.

Don't judge christianiy by me because I KNOW I'm not typical. My favourite colour is yellow and I love Star Wars. I was like this before I joined the Revival churches.

Asks the calf to the cow, "Mother, why do we follow this path that winds, twists and meanders so?".  Answers the cow, "Why do you ask?"

Mmmm, deep.

[LINK SiteName=Mothrust: Movies and Modern Myth Target=_blank]http://aintchristian.blogspot.com.au/[/LINK] Be nice, for everyone that you meet is fighting a harder battle - Anita Roddick
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Re:The Moth and Rust story

Date Posted:18/08/2004 2:50 PMCopy HTML

H&B

Thanks for the very honest post.  I am always attracted to posts that open up like that.  I would like to respond to you if I could...

Can I say, I really enjoy this room and the company. I have forgotten what it feels like not to believe in God. Part of me actually wants to suspend my belief and faith and just have wild worldly fun, lol.

Hmmm...  I would like to know what you define as 'worldly fun'?  Do you mean Revival definitions or what?  Perhaps you need to ditch some of that lingo and decide for yourself what is bad for you and what is simply escapism and distraction from the daily grind. 

It's good to let it off my chest to strangers, hope you don't mind. I am not a people person... don't really like 'em... unless they agree with me or praise my work, which they do. I also appreciate harsh criticism... any publicity is good for me.  I like the good looking ones. I think blonde, brunette and redheaded women are brilliant... plus all the other flavours. I don't like men and don't like being one but will keep this body until a proper replacement becomes available. I don't care if people don't like me... I have enought friends to try and understand. ummm... that'll do for now. (stares at screen for 3 minutes). I think I have mental problems but can't afford the therapy. I am good looking but need to lose some kilos. I love Star Wars  and hate tony Squires. I think sex is terrific and thankfully so does my wife.

Fair amount of self-depracation (sp?) there.  Are you aware of that?  I wonder if you picked that up in the RF or if they only capitalised on what was already there?  My mother is a controlling woman and the RCI capitalised on that (see not everything is the RCI's fault) in my life.

I call myself a christian and go to church but I never pray.

Me too except I don't go to church either.

I can speak in tongues but am sick of doing it.

Well, I can still do what the RCI/RF (and even AOG) called 'speaking in tongues'.  But I actually think it is a psychological phenomena.  There is a lot of good stuff to read about that when you're ready.  Mind you, I didn't come to this point until at least 10 years AFTER leacing the RCI.  And some people I know think they have a legitimate gift.  Its entirely subjective and who am I to argue subjectivity?  Whatever it is, I can do but don't.  It makes me feel uncomfortable...too much pain and history I think.

I call myself a believer but have no desire to preach the bible to those around me.

LOL!!!  Don't worry.  There are enough fanatics around to pick up your slack.  Let's face it, we are all special in God's eyes but not that important.  He can get by just fine without us.  There is a depth to what I am saying.  Do you really think God needs you?  Are you so amazingly important to him or are you just an egomaniac?  This is the elistist thing the RCI drummed into us.  That if we don't do what God wants then HE will fail.  LOL

I like the bible, but I never read it.  

Ditto.  I cant seem to get past all the baggage I carried.  I just feel so condemned when I read it.  All I hear is this harsh authoritarianism.  I have lots of non-cultist Christian friends who don't see the Bible that way at all.  It encourages them and they strive to be better ppl not feel weighed down by guilt. I envy them.

Part of me feels guilty for not feeling like I should be trying to convert my co-workers and snakechick. Ha ha. Save yourself, I'm on holiday. Bite me.

Again, where does this guilt come from?  Do you really think God expects that from you in light of all your recent dramas and stuff?  I think you deserve a rest my friend.  And if God is not graceful and loving with you then he isn't God.

I have high morals and ethics but am a cleptomaniac... I steal stuff if I can get away with it without guilt (office stationary, mp3s, and rich people's stuff).

Rich people's stuff?  LOL!!!  LIke what?

You may call me a hypocrite... but am just having a good fess up. ON the flipside; I help anyone who asks for it, anytime of the day or night. I drop everything (usually to feed my ego as I play the hero, nah that's not really fair, I love helping people actually) I love my kids, but am a lazy parent. I love my wife but I am a grumpy husband. I have never hugged my parents... I never want to, even though they are nice people.

More self-depracation (sp?)!!!!   Selah...

I smoke marijuana 2 weeks ago (medicinal experimentation)... You may think I am smoking now because I am reading what I just read and am laughing to myself... chuckling like a madman. Don't judge christianiy by me because I KNOW I'm not typical. I struggle with internet porn. I wonder if I am normal after all. I really doubt anyone is reading this far into the message so let me say this... I am lonely and unhappy because I don't like hanging out with christians and I can't stand hanging out with worldly people (i.e. alcohol and swearing). I've spent way too much time here when I've got other things to do. My favourite colour is yellow. I was like this before I joined the REvival churches.

Yeah, u have to rediscover who you were b4 the cult and then pick up from there.  Thats what I did.  It was challenging but very rewarding in the end. 

And dont beat urself up for the porn thing.  You think you're alone?  You know, for what its worth, once I gave myself full permission to surf porn I found that it bored me and I am more into chicks in bikins now.  LOL!!!  Seriously, its all about taboos and guilt.  I made it ok and am now not so driven to look at it.  I am not saying this the plan for all people (especially sex addicts...has anyone else seen the movie about Bob Crane of Hogans Heroes?) but it worked for me and I rarely visit tittie sites.  But if I do, no big deal.  Just tits.  I didnt make that decision in an attempt to stop.  I just stopped beating myself (LOL!!!) up over it and it just kinda faded out of my life.  Just my philosophy but it worked for me.  Now beer, thats an addiction I have...

Ok, thats my 2 cents...I hope I was as honest as you man.  Ta.

HJS

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Re:The Moth and Rust story

Date Posted:18/08/2004 9:46 PMCopy HTML

I do want a rest. I want a bloody rest. Part of me doesn't want the whispers to go around the local RF..."did you here he's not going to any church anymore... see I told you he lost the plot." In my new church I have been asked to pastor a housegroup. But I think it's time to admit... I don't really want to! I don't have to.  Right you are H, God will survive without me. I'm sick of alilenating possible new friends by labellling them worldly. Oh yes, and tongues, I am trying not to admit this 'amazing power of mine' in not very unique or amazing but rather a very repetitive string of syllables that seems to bore me stupid. We used to have prayer meetings on various nights that were just 60 minutes of group tongue praying. ROFLPMSL...lol - oh boy! When I think about the good television time I wasted.

Worldly entertainment - Strip clubs and lapdancing while drinking Jim Beam, smoking pot; swearing, listening to heavy metal rock and roll while reading Harry Potter. Haha...

Revival Entertainment - Pot Luck dinner nights; sitting in make shift hall 'restaurants' with your arms folded listening to musical items... then clapping heartily at the ones who really sing like shite (one day I'll say shit) but no one is realistic enough to tell them....

Its funny how God seems to be more believable when one's health is poor.  Anyone else noticed that? I dunno, i've been pretty sick for the last 25 months from an unidentifiable condition that really really really sux. Satan seems to be getting more believable. God... I hope he's bigger and better than my doubt.

 

[LINK SiteName=Mothrust: Movies and Modern Myth Target=_blank]http://aintchristian.blogspot.com.au/[/LINK] Be nice, for everyone that you meet is fighting a harder battle - Anita Roddick
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Re:The Moth and Rust story

Date Posted:26/08/2004 3:10 AMCopy HTML

Reply to : HeatandServe

Self-depracating - yes, I did pick up on that tone in my 'fessing. It's funny, most people who know me describe me as an eccentric extroverted quirky individual.

Well you know what they say...we only know ourselves by how we reflect off others.  Although we are all the centre of our own world, we can't often see ourselves.  That is not to say that inward reflection is a waste of time.  Its brilliant.  But the RF/RCI taught us to doubt ourselves and to rely on them to tell us what to believe.  Making a conscious effort to sort out your own beliefs and trust ing yourself in doing that is a major step in post-cult recovery.

I do want a rest. I want a bloody rest. Part of me doesn't want the whispers to go around the local RevFel "did you here he's not going to any church anymore... see I told you he lost the plot."

Its amazing how much of a hold they still have over us after we leave no?  You are out of the cult but the cult isn't out of you.  No, that's not entirely true.  I am sure you have shed a lot of the cult stuff.  But still, if you feel that way about how they think about you, perhaps you should look into ways of overcoming that.  Look around for some good self-help books that address these issues or even (gasp!) get some counselling.

In my new church I have been asked to pastor a housegroup. But I think it's time to admit... I don't really want to! I don't have to.

More than that, I reckon you shouldn't for your own sake and for the sake of those you would be leading.  Man, its not a slur on you to say you're not at all ready.  I am sure you are a competent, bright person, but take some time off and take care of you.  Once you are truly healed then you will make a better leader.

This site is influencing me. Right you are H, God will survive without me. I'm sick of alilenating possible new friends by labellling them worldly.

Yeah, i have found that non-religious people are often better people.  Having religion doesn't necessarily make you a better person and not having it doesn't make you worse.  The Bible doesn't command us to avoid people in the world.  In fact Paul tells us to be at peace with all men where possible.  Alienating yourself from people may make you feel more righteous but it doesn't actually do you, them or God any good.  It is entriely self-righteousness...the very thing Jesus commanded us to be wary of.

Oh yes, and tongues, I am trying not to admit this 'amazing power of mine' in not very unique or amazing but rather a very repetitive string of syllables that seems to bore me stupid. We used to have prayer meetings on various nights that were just 60 minutes of group tongue praying. ROFLPMSL...lol - oh boy! When I think about the good television time I wasted.

Yep.  It's a hard thing, especially after having made tongues the defining point of so much of our lives.  Take it slowly.  I know lots of ex-Revialists who still believe in speaking in tongues.  It doesn't matter whether you come to the conclusion that tongues are legitimate or not.  What matters is that YOU come to whatever conclusion you do.  What matters is that you are honest with yourself internally.  Most Christians believe that tongues is a non-essential issue anyway, so according to 95% of the church, it doesn't matter what you believe about tongues.  So don't get burdened by it.  Indecision about tongues is also just fine don't you think?  Like I said, it took me 10 years to some to the point where i realised my tongues experience was flawed.

Worldly entertainment - Strip clubs and lapdancing while drinking Jim Beam, smoking pot; swearing, listening to heavy metal rock and roll while reading Harry Potter.

Man, I know you're joking but I don't recall reading the words 'worldly entertainment' in the Bible.  There you go again with that Revival Centre lingo.

Revival Entertainment - Pot Luck dinner nights; sitting in make shift hall 'restaurants' with your arms folded listening to musical items... then clapping heartily at the ones who really sing like shite (one day I'll say shit) but no one is realistic enough to tell them....

LOL!!!  Entertainment?  More like torture.

hojusaram, I hope you're surviving the flu. Congrats on the bub to be. Is this your first bun in the oven? Made in China... make sure you keep the reciept! I have two kids. Boy and a girl; they are so beautiful. I got home from school today to find my little 6 year old boy had fallen off his bike and was grazed, cut, had a swollen lip and was quivering in pain. The first thing he told me through his sobs, with much difficulty, was that he made it through another level of his Garfield typing program previously to his bike ride. So brave. So beautiful. So innocent. I would die for this boy in a second if I had to. Kids are great, they give us the will to live and to share. God bless ya baby, hope you both enjoy the ride.

Thanks man.  I am really looking forward to meeting my child.  And I am over the flu. 

Ciao
HJS

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Re:The Moth and Rust story

Date Posted:14/10/2004 7:49 PMCopy HTML

I doubt I will ever stop checking in on this site anytime soon... I'm a creature of habit and I have a short list of websites I routinely check everyday. I dunno whether that's healthy or not but it works for me for now. I'm unemployed at the moment and am feeling like a bit of a drongo. (edit 2005 - am working now - full time teacher primary school)

When I left the Rev heads earlier this year it was like taking the blue pill (ala The Matrix) and sometimes I pine for the tight network of contacts I used to have. I am finding it vey hard to forget the close friends I had but then they make it easier by their attitudes to us. I recently bumped into the person who brought me along all those years ago and she had this to say (pretty funny actually); she looked at me very seriously, to my eyes, and said (in a way that only close friends would) "You stupid, stupid man... come back to fellowship... the Lord's returning soon and there's no time to waste" - pretty sad actually. I dunno if the Lord is returning one day, and I'm certainly not going to set my watch to the possibility.

Just recently, during a healing service at my new church (2006 edit - I don't go to churches anymore) where people were 'slaying' at the prayer line, I got into a semi-argument about the validity of the practice. DONT SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF huh... BUT I was almost wishing that I remained in the familiarity of my old cult.  Back there I didn't have to practice using my emotions, I could just sit and stare like a zombie. there I was an expert... there, someone told me what to believe... there I had a place... there I was the big man on campus. There I had much supper. Would I ever go back though... not on your Nelly! As Mel Braveheart once said "If you haven't got your freedom, it's all for nothing"... or something close to that.

I missed out on a good employment opportunity recently because of some bridges I burnt when leaving the Rev Heads... I shouldn't have made such a big noise when I left, but I was so passionate about declaring my disdain for all things Revival that I threw out some wisdom... thems the brakes hey?

[LINK SiteName=Mothrust: Movies and Modern Myth Target=_blank]http://aintchristian.blogspot.com.au/[/LINK] Be nice, for everyone that you meet is fighting a harder battle - Anita Roddick
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Re:The Moth and Rust story

Date Posted:20/10/2005 7:41 AMCopy HTML

I still remember our experience. I came to the RCI at 16, and met my now husband at 17. Boy, was I young and naive!. Anyway, after we were "pastorised" (don't you just love that term!!) we were told, don't rush as we , well me so young. Anyway at first things were OK, we were very good children!  But soon, we did the deed. But it came at a price. Feelings of tremendous guilt, having to lie , sneaking around etc. We actually managed to get married without being caught, but what of should have been a joyous first wedding night was fraught with guilt. I hoped that we wouldn't be found out...

It wasn't until a YP camp a few months later that we confessed. Pastor Darryl gave a angry talk about fornicators, and people covering this up. At this time, I finally cracked. I told all. I had to ask my parents for forgiveness, I had to apologise for lying, and never tell anyone else!. For the first few years of marriage I felt so much guilt. As we were already married, we were put out of YP for 6 months. We didn't really mind, we could spend time for ourselves.

Ironically, two senior pastors children fornicated, were ordered to marry, and a few years later, divorced.

We have now been married for nearly 21 years, and are going strong.

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Re:The Moth and Rust story

Date Posted:20/10/2005 1:03 PMCopy HTML

No I am not your old pastor that is not possible but I just read your story and thought it sounded really petty and thought you should just find better things to spend your time writing about.  I don't mind the odd story but you seem to feature everywhere.  All I am saying is yeah, it sounds bad the stuff you and heaps others went through including myself but cant you just leave it alone and move on.  You say you have but as I mentioned you are featured everywhere in all forums.  I have just come accross this forum and am able to relate to the stories but would never post my own experiences as I don't have a need to as I am happy  in myself and my life.   You seem happy to  it looks like your relationship has worked out so all I am saying is what is the point of dwelling on it , come on it had its bad points but it wasn't THAT bad.
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Re:The Moth and Rust story

Date Posted:24/10/2005 8:42 AMCopy HTML

yo heatand serve... i feel your pain man... and we WERE over 17... funnily enough, not making it official must have given it all that passion... plus all the 'we should do this' shit i kept bringing up. damn, i messed up a lot of 'companies' by getting pissed-off at how hot it was.

damn, i miss keeping some of those companies... those were the days, my friend. we got busted 'straddling' in the middle of the city, though... spies EVERYWHERE. the spy was a bit of a promiscuous on in her time too, though... jealous b*****!

if it gives you joy, enjoy! life aint pretty without it
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Re:The Moth and Rust story

Date Posted:25/10/2005 10:12 PMCopy HTML

Well of this all, you'd just think that RCI would get a brain... they are already on the cult-ish side so why don't they just say people aren't allowed even to keep company until they are 21

It's almost as though they get turned on by it.  They set an age where you are ONLY JUST out of puberty( I think! I don't remember my bio - soz!) an age where you are totally rebellious, immature and not even at an age to get married even if you were "burning" and wanted to "do the right thing by Simon... I mean God"

Also, of all the churches I have been to over the years never can I recall one that gave so many opportunities for males and females to be in "dodgy" places together.  It's almost as though the leaders are Satan just trying to get you to fuck up - literally - so they can exert their power over you - and listen to all the juicy details for later when their wives just aren't doing it for 'em!

 

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Re:The Moth and Rust story

Date Posted:31/12/2005 7:24 PMCopy HTML

I have just been listening to this gem of a recording
 
Some points strike me as unusual
 
1) Lloyd Longfield has no idea of the meaning of the word "fornication"..  Fornication simply means sexual intercourse between two unmarried people and therefore LL's prooftexting mania ranting is baseless!! completely!!
 
2) This recording is overwhelming proof that LL uses fear to control the Pastors in the RCI. In other words the RCI pastors fear LL looking over their shoulders like some big brother scenario similar to Joe Stalin
 
3) He makes the continual rant "I am the boss" ..."and if you don't accept what I say - get out of the RCI - this is my organisation " and so on  and so on.
 
4) His prooftexting shouting down of any of the interjections of the  other pastors at the meeting shows the very poor quality of his theology ( if I can call it that) and consequently not one pastor on this recording shows any correct understanding in meaning of the word "repentance".  Hence the real error of the RCI is fully exposed
 
anon   
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Re:The Moth and Rust story

Date Posted:03/01/2006 1:07 AMCopy HTML

Reply to : Anonymous

I have just been listening to this gem of a recordinghttp://rc.cultweb.net/archive/wavs/wavnsw.ra on rc.cultweb.net.Some points strike me as unusual1) Lloyd Longfield has no idea of the meaning of the word "fornication".. Fornication simply means sexual intercourse between two unmarried people and therefore LL's prooftexting mania ranting is baseless!! completely!!2) This recording is overwhelming proof that LL uses fear to control the Pastors in the RCI. In other words the RCI pastors fear
Thank you so much!  It is so great to hear what is going on in there.  My sister has been a member for 14+ years and is very secretive about their beliefs.  I would love to hear more about what goes on in the meetings. They are so deceived.  If one "fornication" means you are lost forever because "fornicators will not inherit the kingdom", then one lie means you are lost forever, too, because "all liars will have their place in the lake of fire" Rev. 21:8
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Re:The Moth and Rust story

Date Posted:21/03/2006 3:52 PMCopy HTML

$%*'`[biggirl]%*'`@Good 'testimony' H&S.
When we left our church, because of severe mis-doings or our 'pastor'in our tiny group, everyone knew we had been treated badly, and not one 'pastor' from the wider assemlbies could tell us what we had done wrong. However, when we told one of the Pastors we had to leave, the response was 'don't give up the race'. In other words, leaving the RF meant leaving the Lord! All our old friends of the last 12 years or so shunned us.
After a couple of years, we moved to another country, which happened to have a large RF assembly. Everyone thought we would go straight back into that church.
The main reason i would never enter the RF again, is because of the 'shunning'. If we go back everyone will love us again. If we don't they are hardly civil when we bump into them. (There are a few exceptions) THEy all know we haven't changed our beliefs, but will not have anything to do with us.
Who in their wildest dreams would want to go back to be amongst ssuch attitudes?????
No churches are perfect, but the ones we go to are a whole lot more perfect than that!!!
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Re:The Moth and Rust story

Date Posted:21/03/2006 6:59 PMCopy HTML


As an effective church in the Western world, THE REVIVAL FELLOWSHIP isn't looking too good. Many people now in their 40' who have been around for 20+ years are starting to question the legalism and control and are realising they are not the only Christians around.

Places like Sth Australia and Victoria have groups where leaders are not liked at all, but many people are still afraid to make a break.

Diotrephes in 3 John stopped the brethren from getting together and took it upon himself to put people out of the church. Sound familiar?

Of course the drying up of converts in the Western world will be interpreted as a symptom of "the last days". The RCI, Geelong Revival Centres, and the miniscule CAI will also be saying the same thing.

Four superiority complex ridden groups, all declining, none of them talking to each other, all rubbishing each other and all other Christian groups.

DONG.....DONG....DONG.......for whom the bell tolls.
I know what you"re thinking....did I put 5 people out or 6?... I guess in all the excitement I kinda lost count myself...so the question is, do you feel lucky?...well do you, punk? - Clint Eastwood
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Re:The Moth and Rust story

Date Posted:23/03/2006 9:33 AMCopy HTML

Reply to : Marmalade Pie

As an effective church in the Western world, THE REVIVAL FELLOWSHIP isn't looking too good. Of course the drying up of converts in the Western world will be interpreted as a symptom of "the last days". The RCI, Geelong Revival Centres, and the miniscule CAI will also be saying the same thing.Four superiority complex ridden groups, all declining, none of them talking to each other, all rubbishing each other

I wonder how they explain away the growth happening in many other pentacostal (and other) churches around the place. Some of my Christian friends from (shock horror) other churches are rejoicing in the amount of new people, especially youngies, filling up the seats in their congregations.

MothandRust Share to: Facebook Twitter MSN linkedin google yahoo #15
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Re:The Moth and Rust story

Date Posted:25/09/2006 11:36 AMCopy HTML

 
WOW, MY 1000th POST!

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 And mother said I'd never amount to anything! This is going to be very self-indulgent mostly pointless, and all the rest so readers beware. Not sure whether to be proud of myself or full of sorrow for ten thousand lost minutes.. but it pays not to count like that... if I added up the amount of hours of my life I'd spent watching the Simpsons, Happy Days and MASH, I think I'd do away with myself with sharp instruments while driving fast. Anyhoo... maybe I'll shut up a little now that I've got to the grand mark.

On this momentous (haha) ocassion I'd love to thank some of the online people, friends and aquaintances who helped me through my transition from Revival life into normal life. I might even take the time to remember the regulars and former regulars while I take a walk down memory lane. If I miss someone it's either completely accidental or wholely purposeful. The Rust part of MothandRust knows who she is and I thank her for sticking by me through hell (ha.. hell.. been there, done that!)

Mr Te - My Northern hemisphere doppleganger. What can I say? A dedicated man and a voice of reason in a sea of idiocy... something like that. Thank you for your trust and for always being there with an answer. A true and tried online friend and I've always been a big fan of your work...

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Joey - (infrequent reader -nonposter- and best friend) For helping me find some of myself... and for simply just being you. It was after I met you that I realised that people don't need to change themselves to make a God happy. Should he exist, he should love us just how we are. For all our faults and our bad habits.. we are the sum of our parts. Don't change kiddo.

Snakechic - Another longtime true and tried mate who has looked past my shortcomings. The forum was never the same without you... of course! haha... Always two steps ahead of me and always able to see through my crap to what was really going on. You are so insightful and compassionate - a true rock for me in that dark place last year - thank you (cliched I know... that's the mood I'm in).

 

.

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting Dr PopeWazza Revivals Blood - Thanks for laughing at most of my jokes and being a good sport

 

 

[LINK SiteName=Mothrust: Movies and Modern Myth Target=_blank]http://aintchristian.blogspot.com.au/[/LINK] Be nice, for everyone that you meet is fighting a harder battle - Anita Roddick
dogmafree Share to: Facebook Twitter MSN linkedin google yahoo #16
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Re:The Moth and Rust story

Date Posted:25/09/2006 12:32 PMCopy HTML

Well Moth,

Sincerest congratulations at arriving at your self-professed landmark! 1000 bags of gas that has made this forum what it is, well done!

Your post reminds me of an aspect of life that has changed for myself (and many others) since freeing myself from the RF................ THE VALIDITY OF SELF-CELEBRATION!

Good old Shirl used to sing, "EGO is not a dirty word" Bless 'is soul.

From within the mindset, if I did something good or worthwhile, GOD GOT THE GLORY, and wearing humility like an honourable garment was the done thing. If I did anything wrong, it was (of course) because of MY OWN FAILURE, and God gets off, every time. Funny that!

Anyway, a while after I left, I had my 40th birthday coming up. I thought about it and cast my mind back...... I could not remember any birthday I'd had in all the years I was in the RF! The last one I actually remembered was before I'd joined, (my 21st, a most raucous event with lots of sex, drugs, booze and self-indulgence)!

I had spend those occasions quietly in a numb state of depression and self contraction, without even knowing it. I see back now that I had allowed myself to exist within that state, taking emotional sanctuary there instead of allowing the full spectrum of human emotion to be alive within me.

Well I made a conscious choice to allow myself the indulgence of a 40th where I was the man of the day. I was celebrating ME, and enjoyed the day with friends and family joining me from the past and present. I made a theme for my party 'RECONNECTION' and had a most satisfying time. There were several old friends there that I hadn't seen for about 18 years, and it was just SO GOOD!

So MOTH, I say thanks for all your involvent here, and sharing your experiences with us all.

Good onya for making it YOUR HOUR of HONOUR!!!!!

the Dog.
"for there is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so" Shakespeare (Hamlet, Act 2, Scene 2)
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Re:The Moth and Rust story

Date Posted:26/10/2006 11:41 AMCopy HTML

ok... now i'm starting to get emotional

as usual, i'm a month late to reply...

today i decided to read your testimony
(howzat for an ego?!)

it sounds like you're leaving... nooooo! first the revivalists leave me (in an inverse way) and now the two buddies i have neglected so badly... reminds me of funerals where the ones that cry are the guilty ones...

anyway, thanks for your props, one of the nicest things someone has said... you could have just said 'avenger dude, you are full of shit', but you did it in true moth style.

well, if im not mistaken, this is mainly a 'congratulations on your 1000th', so congratulations on your 1000th.

but i can't help but notice the weaning-off undertones too... well, as i told MR T, congratulations on that more than anything...

maybe you've noticed my weaning-off... except i didn't really have the courtesy to say bye... i think its because it wasnt a huge conscious decision on my part... and of course i knew that my 'weaning' was always going to be erratic an unpredictable... (as you can see i have so much more here to read... i've been kinda doing the reading 'moderately' all along and the writing in extreme bursts of silence and dumps.

(notice how it always becomes about me? well, that's the cool thing about this board. i am happy no-one really ever dissed me for that. these discussions with 'distant family' have been about finding out about rediscovering ourselves, expressing ourselves and redifing our identities IMHO)

anyway, i'll be around, cause i think i'll constantly be doing these things and have so much more to read here... and i haven't even started on the 'walk away' material yet.

WHAT I LIKE ABOUT YOU: definitely your openness and your ability to laugh at yourself. good intentions seem to ooze from your directions and no matter how much you try to be a heretic, or christian-basher, you just always seem NICE.

(hey, if christians can do it, why can't we tap each other on the back every now and then, huh?)

btw, not sure if you are completely aware, but i think we are contacts on each others' msn. even though im relatively unfriendly and private, i'm always there for you in the backgroud if you need me...

ACTUALLY... while we are all getting sentimental, ANYONE on this board is a friend to me. (not to make you feel less special - afterall, you have my REAL email address... that's not bad at all)

i guess my anonymity is less important with time, along with the intention to AVENGE my spiritual abuse.

i am actually semi sympathetic to all evil-doers... criminals including pastors etc. i feel that they are victims of the system too.

in a way, i see easing up on this forum as a sign of a certain satisfaction.... knowing there are others out there with the same experience... knowing that you have made a friend with a common, very personal experience...

also as a sign of forgiveness...

and it might be a sign of maturity... its a hard thing to accomplish in a world of confusion... i mean ask this scott williams character...

sometimes i think 'we're all babies man'...

then this forgiveness thing... it allows us the space to move on with our lives.

its just a suggestion, but its quite profound when you think about it... to think that that was the whole point in the first place and then organisations got legalistic about it... tried to enforce it... and trusted it so little that they had to build huge fences around it...

well, if they are reading this now, i hope they realise it was a BIG mistake.

maybe one day, my (previous) dream of a CLASS ACTION SUIT against 'them' will come to pass, however im willing to be indifferent to it and hope that the sheep still trapped there really need those conditions... and that part of our 'spiritual walk' IS overcoming those big fences, in the process learning how to get along without what is within those confines.

i see this forum as the exhaust fumes and excess baggage and i don't know what else to say to encourage you and mr t to convey that you guys are true overcomers in my eyes... the cool thing is, though, that when one gets to that stage, you almost dont need that kind of encouragement. its more a confirmation of what you already know, and at worst, just more ideology!

so, from one reluctant cult leader to another... or should i say, potential leader...

BREAK A LEG!

and

ONE DAY WE WILL HAVE A ROUND OF GOLF WHEN WE'RE ALL IN THE SAME COUNTRY...

(no i've never played before, but i mean, see you at the top of the mountain). in the meantime, see you at the crossroads, which are the posts in this forum, while it lasts...
if it gives you joy, enjoy! life aint pretty without it
MothandRust Share to: Facebook Twitter MSN linkedin google yahoo #18
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Re:The Moth and Rust story

Date Posted:26/10/2006 9:47 PMCopy HTML

Reply to : avenger dude and Dog

ok... now i'm starting to get emotional as usual, i'm a month late to reply... today i decided to read your testimony
(howzat for an ego?!) it sounds like you're leaving... nooooo! first the revivalists leave me (in an inverse way) and now the two buddies i have neglected so badly...

You can't get rid of the ghost in the machine. As Superman said to Lois in Superman Returns, "Oh, I'm always around". I'll be online as long as myself and others contribute donations to keep it running. Apparently, that's not too many. Nobody likes to tithe or anything close to it.. ha.

anyway, thanks for your props, one of the nicest things someone has said... you could have just said 'avenger dude, you are full of shit', but you did it in true moth style.

I feel just as guilty about not replying enough to your well thought out posts.

well, if im not mistaken, this is mainly a 'congratulations on your 1000th', so congratulations on your 1000th.

Not sure if I should be rewarded or encouraged, but I appreciate it. Thanks :-) 1000 rambles... I'm on the net a lot for work and pleasure and I find the human interaction exciting, plus I don't have the awkwardness of having to make eye contact or have to think about where to put my hands.

maybe you've noticed my weaning-off... except i didn't really have the courtesy to say bye... i think its because it wasnt a huge conscious decision on my part... and of course i knew that my 'weaning' was always going to be erratic an unpredictable...

It would be pretty sad if we didn't have regular and irregulars alike. Thanks for coming back every now and again. I've always wanted to do a nice big romantic departure message and disappear into the ethernet. Then watch all the posters pleading with me to come back, saying "Where's the Moth, we miss the moth... oh where oh where did he go?" It's a fun fantasy of mine.

(notice how it always becomes about me? well, that's the cool thing about this board. i am happy no-one really ever dissed me for that. these discussions with 'distant family' have been about finding out about rediscovering ourselves, expressing ourselves and redifing our identities IMHO)

It should be all about you. you're bloody important. I know I am... and frak anybody who would dis anyone for sharing about themselves. Yeah, the forum is about helping the poor poor souls who leave the cults, but really.. none of us are counsellors... the best we can do is show some honesty (or versions thereof) and see if people relate to it. I'm not going to pretend to be a nice guy... I do that at work. Here, I pretend to be someone else. The Internet is good for that.

WHAT I LIKE ABOUT YOU: definitely your openness and your ability to laugh at yourself. good intentions seem to ooze from your directions and no matter how much you try to be a heretic, or christian-basher, you just always seem NICE.

Oh, there's a spare bed for you in my house any day.. heh. I am bloody nice... (but I can be a self-centred male bastard too) and yeah, I think a lot of my anti-christian-ness comes from the disdain I had for pentecostals as a REVIVALIST! I really do. We just hated them.. we hated their music, their wishy washy doctrines and blah blah blah. On the other hand, I have grown into my own healthy dislike for anyone who tries to convert others into a narrow-minded life view such as the 'us verses them' mindset of Christianity.

i am actually semi sympathetic to all evil-doers... criminals including pastors etc. i feel that they are victims of the system too. i guess my anonymity is less important with time, along with the intention to AVENGE my spiritual abuse.

I have to admit I feel very empathetic for others when I see confusion or sorrow. I hate seeing people in pain. I have little sympathy for arrogance of Revivalists though... the arrogance of my online persona is a faux-arrogance, as you've picked up. you know, this forum is actually a very bad bad place for me personally, but I'm sometimes very self-destructive. I've often posted thoughtless and selfish flippant remarks that have hurt close friends deeply.

There's been more than a few times I've had to crawl and beg for forgiveness for the things I've said (often brought on by alcohol or late night sessions after feeding my sleeping pill addiction). Rather then give up posting I hoped to learn to be more thoughtful... I'm a very slow learner.

[LINK SiteName=Mothrust: Movies and Modern Myth Target=_blank]http://aintchristian.blogspot.com.au/[/LINK] Be nice, for everyone that you meet is fighting a harder battle - Anita Roddick
mf doom Share to: Facebook Twitter MSN linkedin google yahoo #19
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Re:The Moth and Rust story

Date Posted:26/10/2006 11:46 PMCopy HTML

*stilnox: stillness for you, if they're still knocking ya*

well, it was a lame slogan that came to my head, to make light of a serious sitch.

i guess that digging-up and dobbing thing is a living example of why it may be beneficial to maintain anonimity... however, it seems that our 'spilling-of-guts' is a rebellion against having to do that... pushing the boundaries which are trying to still prevent us from being free to be who we are...

but i mean, really, if that is true what ill alien did, i guess i really 'pity the fool' (cultural reference - easy one), especially because when he/she is free, they will be quite ashamed of themselves too.

i mean, i could tell everyone that im pretty much hooked on smokes, i could drink their grandma's under the table (in the purest sense) and i smoke the herb whenever its around, but i guess i avoid that because i know (even if only through the biblical examples) that people are more ready to judge the man than heed his truthfulness and example.

so i wont... oh fuck it... yes i will.. and i'll even say that i think i bought a sleeping pill in a club the other night... the guy said it was '90% acid'!! yeah, we danced... sleeping pills are pretty big in this neck of the wood as part of a complete breakfast... i mean complete cocktail of recreational fun... but seriously, if it's insomnia, i hope that goes well... it usually works itself out eventually.

i might as well ramble on a bit more...

yeah, so on the drugs tip, the crazy thing is the paranoia... you actually start thinking of the system, 'god', technology and how 'everything can and will be used against you on that great judgement day'... i used to be on this car chat site for owners of the same car... under the 'stories' section, i told them of the night i was out with the boys and had a flat tyre, without having a spare... and how we drove around looking for ceratin vehicles with the same bolt pattern... anyway, we find a bmw, i ran over to it jacked it up and stole the front wheel and left it there on my jack...

terrible thing, which is definitely not something i would like to do to my fellow being (do unto others, karma, etc.), but hey, i was 'cool' for a day.

anyway, they wont delete the post and i often think about whether the police will eventually get me on that one!!!

funny and sad at the same time!

btw, should i mention that i was in the RF at the time and drink-driving? i guess not, because i hate drink drivers, so why shouldn't others? plus, i know there are people out there that know who avenger dude is...

so, really, what IS freedom?
if it gives you joy, enjoy! life aint pretty without it
mf doom Share to: Facebook Twitter MSN linkedin google yahoo #20
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Re:The Moth and Rust story

Date Posted:30/10/2006 11:48 AMCopy HTML

lol, i knew i'd regret certain parts of this outburst and justify my previous confession...

basically, i don't want to condone any of the things i mention, whether in jest or soul-baring...

so KIDS, DRUGS ARE BAD, M'KAY?

but so is judging others with a mote in one's own eye. find the balance kids.

and stay in school. don't believe the armageddon hype. and don't completely disregard evolution.

that's the free advice i have to help you reach 1000 healthy posts like moth. ok, i think i rounded it off a little better...

and i apologise if i am just passing on satanic ideology... but it's so comfy!

i really must get some sleep.

ps... if donations really become a major issue, i'm willing to support this or the next forum. i can send a postal order to some post box...
if it gives you joy, enjoy! life aint pretty without it
MothandRust Share to: Facebook Twitter MSN linkedin google yahoo #21
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Re:The Moth and Rust story

Date Posted:11/08/2007 12:26 AMCopy HTML

Get over yourself why don't ya!

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MothandRust Share to: Facebook Twitter MSN linkedin google yahoo #22
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Re:The Moth and Rust story

Date Posted:05/06/2008 1:15 PMCopy HTML

So it’s our 19th wedding anniversary this week, and I let this slip quietly to a workmate in the staffroom, knowing for some reason it was a mistake to do so, but not sure why. All ears seem to prick up.

“19 years? And how old are you now, 36? How old were you when you were married, 14?” (we teachers ain’t too hot at subtraction sometimes). “Why on earth would you get married at 17?”, “Was it a shotgun wedding?“

Somewhat reluctant, yet polite and forthcoming, I admitted something along the lines of, ‘No, my then girlfriend and I fornicated and were therefore convinced that our ‘sin’ needed to be atoned, via marriage, at the request of the frakked up church we were in’.

“Oh wow, you were in a cult?!“

’No, no, cult is a very strong word… we weren’t quite that different from other churches… we did have our own language though.’ The response to this - riotous laughter. I may as well have been Tom Cruise explaining how Scientology was founded by an alien forefather named Xenu.

We had our own language… sigh. And it took me 17 years to realise how remarkably messed up and ridiculous that is. Star Trekkian nerds who spoke in our own form of Klingon. To be honest, the act of glossallia (speaking in tongues) isn’t unusual in pentecostal christian circles, but our particular life sucking church, the Revival Fellowship (and Centres ‘International’) played on this ability to verbalise double dutch gibberish.

I’ve cut and pasted that 17 years from my life and am trying to delete it from my clipboard. As a result, I sometimes feel I started my actual 18 year of life at the age of 32, but then I may have actually never matured past teenagehood if my Batman obsession since then is anything to go by. I was young and impressionable and I thought I knew all the secrets to the universe and am too embarrassed to list our creed of beliefs.

Happily agnostic now and still interested in religion, but not as a lifestyle anymore, I enjoy studying a myriad of beliefs and am interested in exploring why people believe in the various superstitions and religions they fall into. From astrology to UFOlogy to organised religion, we seem to certaiinly want to believe things we cannot see or prove. I understand and remember this sort of ‘faith’ but won’t be falling for anymore bullcrap myself (respectfully appreciating that everyone is entitled to pursue what they consider to be their ‘truth’ - more power to ya).

Someone told me today I was stupid to be caught up in that cult, and maybe I was. Thousands, millions, continue to delude themselves into thinking they are privy to a higher truth, and that the world needs saving. If I was stupid, I grew out of it.

This year I turn 22 (that’s 37 in your ‘earth’ years).

[LINK SiteName=Mothrust: Movies and Modern Myth Target=_blank]http://aintchristian.blogspot.com.au/[/LINK] Be nice, for everyone that you meet is fighting a harder battle - Anita Roddick
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Re:The Moth and Rust story

Date Posted:05/06/2008 4:41 PMCopy HTML

"..................we seem to certainly want to believe things we cannot see or prove. I understand and remember this sort of 'faith'........." 

Moth,

There's not much about faith in RCI/RF.  Aah, but there is proof.  You can have proof that God exists, they say.  Why do you think when someone doesn't 'receive' in the tank they are hurried off into the seekers room to (I hesitate to say the word) diligently pray to receive the Spirit/tongues so that when they do, they can go home with their proof and their guarantee.  And all the people said:-   Amen.

Epi


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Re:The Moth and Rust story

Date Posted:06/06/2008 5:18 AMCopy HTML

just reading your post scared back into a world long forgotten Epi.....

;-)

I sometimes forget what it was like
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Re:The Moth and Rust story

Date Posted:08/06/2008 12:35 PMCopy HTML

have just been listening to this gem of a recording
 
Some points strike me as unusual
 
1) Lloyd Longfield has no idea of the meaning of the word "fornication"..  Fornication simply means sexual intercourse between two unmarried people and therefore LL's prooftexting mania ranting is baseless!! completely!!
 
2) This recording is overwhelming proof that LL uses fear to control the Pastors in the RCI. In other words the RCI pastors fear LL looking over their shoulders like some big brother scenario similar to Joe Stalin
 
3) He makes the continual rant "I am the boss" ..."and if you don't accept what I say - get out of the RCI - this is my organisation " and so on  and so on.
 
4) His prooftexting shouting down of any of the interjections of the  other pastors at the meeting shows the very poor quality of his theology ( if I can call it that) and consequently not one pastor on this recording shows any correct understanding in meaning of the word "repentance".  Hence the real error of the RCI is fully exposed
 
anon  
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Re:The Moth and Rust story

Date Posted:09/06/2008 3:24 AMCopy HTML

Fornicators Usurp Christ's Kingdom

Sexual sin.. cast out ye who fornicates or marry them lest they burn!Do they still do this in the RCI? I bet they do... I bet they do....Our story.

Young people in the Revival Centres weren't allowed to 'keep company' until they were both 17 and had parental consent. Makes sense incontrolling culty way. We were only 16 so weren't allowed.but we 'kept company' anyway until we got caught out. So, we were banned from talking to each other for 6 weeks. At church we were allowed to say "hello" and "how are you" only, until the 6 weeks was served. Yeah, that worked.

Those rules only made us madder and we snuck around together at school and after school even moreso. Our six weeks was nearly up and I was looking forward to asking if we could officially go out together as I would soon be seventeen. Unfortunately, we got seen together and were given another punishment - Three MONTHS! Damn... but part of me believed the tripe I was forced to listen to and I didn't want to lose my girl.So, for another 3 months we weren't allowed to talk to each other at church or even at youth group meetings and those Sundays were loooongggg meetings. We became very skilled at sneaking around.

The 'forbidden love thing' only made it more exciting. We nearly made it through the three months without getting caught... we were both now 17 and were extremely disappointed that we couldn't get parental approvement because we broke parole! We were told that we were not allowed to see each other at all and were given another 3 months!I couldn't work out any other option other than leaving the church, so I went and saw the pastor and told him everything and said 'so long... and thanks for all the fish'. He didn't let me go and gave me the choice to marry or... pretty much die.

He convinced her very distressed parents that marriage was the only way to save our souls. She reluctantly agreed. I didn't care much about the 'soul saving' .

The marriage date was set for June - about 8 weeks away. We were put out of fellowship for 6 months and were not allowed to invite church friends to the wedding or even have a church wedding. Amazing how loyal you can be that won't even allow you to have a wedding in their hallowed halls. We would both still be 17 on the day. We weren't allowed to see each other until the wedding day unless chaperoned by an adult in case we fornicated again. We stayed in that church for 16more years until I finally realised in 2003 that it was a crock. Yeah... I'm a very slow learner.There's gotta be a lot of people out there with similar stories. I know of many just in my local area that had the same experience and are very unhappy duckies about it now.
[LINK SiteName=Mothrust: Movies and Modern Myth Target=_blank]http://aintchristian.blogspot.com.au/[/LINK] Be nice, for everyone that you meet is fighting a harder battle - Anita Roddick
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