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I was totally surprised. i was chattin to two current RF members, one 50 odd, the other 20ish, and neither believe in the tongues salvation message. they both believepeople are saved, regardless of whether they go on to get tongues or not!So I asked them, " why then do you stay in the RF if you guys dont believe the tongues salvation message?"and theyre like " coz every church has faults. go find a perfect church, then get back to us"I think theyve been brainwashed for too long with the "we are right, everyone else is wrong" / other Church bashing talks from the pastors. seems like theyve given up trying to find a church thats better than an RF Assembly.

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That was me for ages... I kept on going and going and going through the motions because it was easier than reinterpreting the whole damn bible and admitting I was wrong and starting all over again.... did I say damn bible? sorry God... I'd delete it except that God even sees the stuff we delete. Grrr at him, he's so Big Brother...

I bumped into a RF youth group leader today... I used to be his houseleader back when I was a nazi a few years ago. He put his arms around me and asked me when I was coming back to the church as if I was a lost sheep wandering about in hell. When I said I actually went to a church he was very quick to see if I was preaching the 'true' gospel of tongues.

I couldn't help but laugh. I'm sorry, and I'm sure you're not surprised by it but I couldn't help it. Damn... Tact! He then told me I was mocking God and started sounding very sorry for me. I said I'm not mocking God, I'm mocking him (more tact)... He told me that I have the spirit and shouldn't mock it. *I Rolled eyes* iNSanitY is EverywHere!

So, being me, I started saying holyHyundai a few times and said, 'Mate, it's really not that big a miracle'. Ohmigosh, you should have seen his face. Absolute disgust! Absolute disdain for me! I laughed again... then apologised.

I missed my chance to show him how enlightened I am so here's some advice for me and other tactless cultbusters:

1. You cannot force anyone to see something they don't want to see. If they don't respond after your first burst of information on the sins, the wrong doctrines, and swill, then the more you pound the tighter they cling to the church. Leave them alone until they are ready. The Painful Truth

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A life time ban!This caused a big split. Over half left the RCI, which then formed the RF.

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... and the ironic thing is, a lifetime ban from the RCI would probably be the best thing the RCI could do to anyone! God bless their cotton socks! Do they still issue out these lifetime bans? Are there any RCI trawlers lurking through these rooms (I'll put the white flag up for a while so you can reply - diplomatic immunity) or is it a case of 2 warnings and you're out?

If kicked out of the RCI, would you move straight into a RF... or are those RF people just too wacky? and where do u go if kicked out of the RF (yeah, I know they would never do this, they just shun the non-conformists until they go, herding them out the door by never making them coffee or inviting out to Hungry Jacks after the meeting).

But what if you leave the RF/RCI but want to continue spreading the 'tongue' message. I spose you've got to start up your own church. Friend of mine did that a few years ago.. they still meet at the little hall near the beach (all 12 of them) stammering away and annoying neighbours with pamphletes... all the while ignorant to the big exciting churches all around them. Mad world.

MIracles are great... they really are!

• Walking on water - I'd pay that, that's a handy miracle.
• Changing water into wine - Why can't all christians do this one..? they might get invited to more parties.
• Casting out demons - If I ever came across one it'd be great to send it into a herd of swine.. imagine the look on their faces. It'd be priceless. Even if you could stop a mental patient from being mental by laying hands and praying, well, that'd be swell!
• Healing - Anything to save on health care and deter death would be great... and if I could stop this tinnitus in my ears... terrifc!
• Raising the dead - again that'd be awesome... full marks for this miracle... death sucks.
• Ascending into heaven - That'd be cool to see. Defying gravity is always brilliant. Especially if you wear a cape.
• Loaves and fishes - I really really hope that works with KFC... I think this miracle is great and if I witnessed it... well, you'd never shut me up!
• Calming the storms - Excellent... brilliant... America would really appreciate that and pay you heaps to stop another hurricane. The X-men's 'Storm' is so cool when she does that!
• Speaking in an unintelligible language... What the? Is that amazing? Is there a superhero that can do that? Tongueman... Gobbledygookboy... Wow, is it a bird, is it a plane? No... it's ummm, it's some guy who can stutter... Gee

So, you can speak in tongues? Excellent... If it makes you feel spiritually good - do it... I say. But if you try and tell the rest of the world that it is a supernatural miracle to rival a bottomless bucket of KFC then you are fooling yourself and potentially many others. If you measure your spirituality by this easily mimicked free speech ability then you've got yourself a problem.

The above miracles are all amazing and, guess what, I actually believe they happened... but that's just me (and some other crazy people too I suppose). I think they are very handy miracles and have a lot of WOW power. If I was God and sent a version of myself to Earth in human form to send a message I'd probably peel out a few cool tricks myself. I'd be a good God if I wasn't so selfish I think.

There are some more miracles that happen every day in Revival Fellowships such as...

-GETTING A FREE PARKING SPACE WHEN YOU NEED ONE (Except when it is God's will that there is not one free)

-BEING CURED FROM PSYCHOLOGICAL AILMENTS SUCH AS DEPRESSION (It is only God who can do this!!)

-INTERPRETTING AN UNINTELLIGIBLE TONGUE (How else could get messages to work harder in your walk?)

-THE ABILITY TO HAVE A FINANCIAL BLESSING (Actually this one is quite simple. Apparently all you need to do is tithe your 10%)

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There are some more miracles that happen every day in Revival Fellowships such as...-GETTING A FREE PARKING SPACE WHEN YOU NEED ONE (Except when it is God's will that there is not one free)-BEING CURED FROM PSYCHOLOGICAL AILMENTS SUCH AS DEPRESSION (It is only God who can do this!!)-INTERPRETTING AN UNINTELLIGIBLE TONGUE (How else could get messages to work harder in your walk?)-THE ABILITY TO HAVE A FINANCIAL BLESSING (Actually this one is quite simple. Apparently all you need to do is tithe your 10%)

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It is actually pretty boring.

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Forgive the Vulcans, Terror A, for they do not know what they do. So cold and unemotional. Pretty harsh critics on this site, doncha think. Heaven forbid anyone no try lightening up the place in between NH bashing or BI riduculing... which are both fine and fun, don't get me wrong.

Hey, I tempt the Lord everytime I drink a Pepsi Max... He sits up their above the clouds with His hand above His head, poised to strike saying, "Why, I oughta..."

But let's not forget this particular thread is about people in the RF who stay there even they can see the MAJOR plotholes in the whole logic.

Oh yeah.. and tongues... what happens if you have a sore throat? Do you have to go without prayer and tempt the Lord by giving Him the silent treatment. He hates it when you don't reply to his messages. "Why I oughta.. ah... get outta here ya little scallywag!"