At school we got taught evolution like it was a fact! I just kind of believed that- and didn't really think too much about it all. Then school finished- and I started "living it up." (If u could call it that!) I started smoking quite a bit of pot, and also cigarettes. I started fornicating (note* for the non-church people... that means having sex!) I was stealing, and had been for a while. I drank alcohol only to get drunk-for no other reason- I hated the taste of anything alcoholic. I used a variety of drugs- speed, heroin, pills,acid. note* I'm not proud of any of these things- I am simply giving a clear and indepth testimony.) I acted like a full on idiot for about 2 years.

I got pregnant because I "crazily" wanted to. (note * My plan was to start having kids when I was 27- Im now 27 and I have already had 3 kids!) Anyway- I ended up choosing to have an abortion. What a terrible decision. Immediately after that I became very confused, emotional, and depressed. I think the other factors to consider were... having a boyfriend who was a compulsive liar, and stealer, dole bludger, and drug user... also that I'd just finished school-which gave my life routine... Id just gone to Brazil as an exchange student- but returned after only 3 weeks- (because I wanted to keep partying...( What a bad decision ))...I was using some drugs... we didn't have anywhere permanent to stay...etc

Anyway, in the weeks and months after the abortion/murder of my innocent child, I tried to kill myself. I know some people out there think that is a selfish thing to do. From my experience- I will say that it was probably the most terrible time in my life- and I encourage you all not to judge a person in that position- but to try to help, support and persist in encouraging them -and tell them there is light at the end of the tunnel. My "self" was gone. I was a shell of a person. I couldn't think properly, or talk much. I remember just saying " I dont know' to nearly all questions. I couldn't make a simple decision -eg-even about if I wanted salt on my food. How sad. My mum gave up trying to help me- she didn't know what to do. I wasn't even claiming the dole. I just hung around the house all day being a weirdo and thinking of dying.

Enough of that. If anyone wants to know more- or talk about my suicidal experience- please let me know.

For the next few months I shopped and watched TV and many movies, etc. I just started thinking about how superficial life was...I wondered what was the point to life? Was it to have kids?... have fun???? make money??? get married??? party???? travel??? experience a bit of everything???... study??? get a cool job or career???? - and then I thought, what's the point of any of that?- because at the end u just die.

I will also note that around this time I had some bad experiences with drugs- I felt like i was going crazy- I remember being very scared and I strangely started calling out to Jesus. I didn't know hardly anything about him at all at that time. I was comforted. ( I now know it was definitely Him!) He is the God who sees.

I woke up on a sunday morning with a strong desire to go to church- this was strange, because I did not go to church. I had been a couple of times with a friend to the Christian outreach centre, and once to the Potter's house. That was over a year ago. That's all. So I went along to Sun city Christian centre- (AOG)( I picked that church because I had received a leaflet in the mail about a play they were doing- Heaven's gates and Hell's flames.) I didn't see that play, i just saw a normal sunday meeting I guess... I saw the people all being happy and clapping- and singing to "God". I didn't know who God was or why they were so happy about it all. So I went home and forgot about church for 2 weeks.

I know it sounds quite pathetic now- But you had to be there! When I woke up ( because of that nightmare) I was very frightened, and i just knew I had to get water baptised. ( A friend had previously told me a bit about water baptism- however I didn't know much at all.) So I went back to Sun City and told them I wanted to be baptised. They said that they'd put my name on the list- they were having a group of baptisms that next weekend. ( I now firmly believe that people should be baptised straight away- like they were in acts-eg- in the middle of the night etc.) Anyway- I didn't know that then- so I waited, and got dunked that next weekend at St. Georges beach in Bluff Point- Geraldton, WA. I was so embarassed as they sang..." Gimme a J...J.... now Gimme an E....E , S... U... S... and what have u got??? JESUS! I cringed a bit. Anyway, I confessed on that beach that I basically wanted to follow Jesus and obey Him if he was real- that's why I was getting baptised- to see if He really did die for me. I got dunked, and I will honestly say- as I've said many times before..."My life changed that day- (the 14th of November 1999)- the day that I took a step of faith, and gave God a go.

What happened next... I asked God for a desire to pray to Him, and to read the Bible. The next thing I knew, I was praying heaps and I couldn't stop reading the Bible! It was unreal. to be continued...

Anyway, on with it... This is where it gets a bit tricky. I will explain as I go.

So I'd just got water baptised. I had a friend who " spoke in tongues"- ( no offence to her but she was a bit different) but anyway- I wanted what she had. I thought that since I was now following God I wanted to do it properly, and get all he had to offer- so I asked some people how to get it- tongues. Finally, 10 days after my baptism a lady sat me down in a room and went over some basic Scriptures about Jesus dying for me.( I had heard them before- on TV etc but I used to just think blahblahblah- in one ear and out the other)- but this day I was really listening and thinking deep in my heart "maybe Jesus really did die for me!" and I think I believed it. ??? Id love to go back to that time and be inside my brain to know what I really did think all thru this time , and when did I really start changing- and thinking differently...)

The fact is that I did go from being an unbeliever to a believer in Jesus at this time- but I'm not sure that I can honestly pinpoint the exact moment. Does it matter???

I think the turning point for me was stepping out in faith and being baptised. ( Somehow I knew that was what I was meant to do.) And I think actually believing in my heart and confessing that I believed that Jesus died for me was a huge point also. But what about tongues??????? I really don't know.

One example is that I had lied and signed a false statement- to Centrelink and told them I did not know who the father of my baby was- to avoid the drama- I guess- I can't remember! After realising that I should tell the truth- I told them I had lied, and made a statement telling the truth. I knew it was the right thing to do.

I quit smoking on the 15th of Nov 1999- the day after my water baptism. I wanted to quit somoking but couldn't. Nobody told me I had to. I've never touched a cigarette since. I was quite addicted to smokes- Even though I knew it was wrong to smoke around my baby son- I couldn't seem to stop it- He ended up in hospital overnight with bronchilitis- I felt guilty about it, but i still couldn't stop it. I fully believe God helped me quit and took my desire to smoke away. Its been over 7 years now. Thankyou God!

Alcohol-

I also gave up drinking alcohol. I didn't want to drink anymore either. My last experience of getting drunk was at a friend's dad's birthday party- in the middle of the day!- on warm passionpop!- How embarassing. I was very ill- I just went home and crashed and my friend had to watch my son. How irresponsible! No body told me I had to stop drinking. In 7 years I have only- had one sip of a UDL at my mum's house- then regretted it- and stopped...and another time later I also drank a few UDL's and got slightly tipsy. I regretted that too. On both occasions I was very stressed out- about being a fulltime mum mainly- my 2 youngest kids are only 14th months apart- and I haven't had much help- It has been extremely hard for me. I guess I just momentarily thought that the drunk feeling would help me feel better. Well- halfway thru each of those events I pulled myself back together and realised that alcohol is definitely not going to help me- it is not the answer to my stress. So they are the only exceptions in over 7 years- of not drinking or even wanting to drink alcohol. Note* I used to love getting drunk.

Roadrage- impatience- anger

I used to get very impatient when driving. Road rage! I'd stick fingers up and swear etc. I remember driving around a little roundabout and a taxi pulled out a bit in front of me- they were meant to give way, My hand went up a bit automatically- but then I realised I was calm and cool- and I did not pull a finger! I just got over it and felt no anger! I couldn't believe what was happening- it was amazing! I was becoming a calmer- gentler person.

I used to swear- ever since 14- 15 years of age- every second word! Harsh and filthy language- all the really bad words. I swore around anyone. To teachers, parents etc It was a massive habit for me. After becoming a christian- (in the first week or two I think)- a guy told me that my swearing was a bit off- and that I should probably stop it. I was shocked a bit- I didn't realise how badly I swore. I was a bit distressed because I knew he was right but I knew there was no way that I could stop doing it. I said to God- "You've gotta stop me swearing- I just can't do it myself! - Help!" The honest truth is that before I knew it I had stopped swearing- It was a short time later that I realised I did not swear anymore. I firmly know that that was a huge thing for me- I knew God had done that!! Thankyou Jesus! Note# I still do not swear very much at all. On some rare occasions a "beep!" may come out. However- part of my old habit of swearing sparked up again over the last few years- specifically in my home- and specifically to my husband!- I think the huge factor was my mega stress levels- I just was not coping with my kids. I take full responsibility for allowing swearing back into my heart and mouth- I felt so bad after every bad outburst that I did- I repented and prayed to stop it again. I have struggled with swearing and anger at my husband, quite a bit- recently I have been behaving a lot better- I still have some bad times... but I seem to be a lot more in control then I was before. God is faithful and I know it is Him who helps me grow the fruits of the Spirit!- mainly self-control and love- in this case! So u can clearly see, I am not claiming to be totally free of anger and swearing. I do know for sure that I had severe anger and swearing problems before knowing Jesus- and I know that He has- and is still the One changing me and helping me grow into His image. Thankyou God!

Drugs

I used to use a variety of drugs as I've stated already. I loved the experience of certain drugs- mainly speed and acid ( when I had a good trip). In the latter part of 1999- I was having bad effects from drugs. After taking dexies I ended up at hospital with a friend- looping out a bit. I hallucinated for 3 days after taking 7 dexies for the 1st time! After smoking pot I'd feel a bit freaked out- and crazy like. After drinking alcohol- I'd feel stoned. I started getting paranoid a bit- and scared of taking drugs because I didn't know what effect they were going to have on me. I stated earlier that one time I was quite scared of going loopy - I called out to Jesus in my bedroom- and wrote His name down on paper. I did feel comforted. Thank you Lord. Since knowing Jesus I have had no real desire to use drugs again- I have not touched a drug in 7 years. I really do thank Him for that because I know- that with my eccentric personality- there's no doubt I wouldv'e used drugs many times more- ( even though I was getting a bit scared of them-) and who knows where I would be now. Probably in a mental hospital or dead. I am convinced of that.

Love

One added point to make here is that I used to think it was fine to be homosexual. We got taught at school there was nothing really wrong with it. I used to watch Ricki Lake at the time and she was pro- gay- I started really believing that being gay was fine- and that people were probably born that way. After reading the Bible- my mind was totally changed- I can see that homosexuality and bisexuality are wrong. I will not condone that behaviour at all. I'm sorry if the Bible's view of homosexuality offends some people. But hopefully the offence one may feel -will turn into repentance of sin- and obedience to God. I don't think that people who practice these sins should be treated in a bad way though- why are they any worse then others who commit fornication or adultery? We are all sinners, and we all need God's grace, mercy and forgiveness for our sins. We should show love to homosexuals -because they too are being called by God into His truth. Jesus came to call the sinners to repentance- and by then trusting and believing in Him - and obedience to His teaching- we can receive eternal life.

Note- I've had my kids screaming at me during the writing of this- so there very well may be heaps of errors in there. sorry!

At this time I received an invite to a "coffee morning" from revival Fellowship. the first thing I thought was - this seems like an extreme church- it was talking about miracles and healings. I wasn't too sure about those things for today- ( and I'm still not sure!).

I probably would have forgotten to go- but 2 ladies knocked on my door.( These two are really nice ladies!) They encouraged me to go.

So I went on the Friday and watched the "healing" video of testimonies. I was impressed. I knew God was good- and I believed that He was responsible for these healings.

I went home and told my housemates- One friend immediately quoted- 1 Corinthians 12- Do all speak in tongues?" No. I thought yeh- that's right- so I rang them immediately. I spoke to one girl ( whom I am still friend's with- she has left Revival too). I read the Scripture to her - and she said "yes" "all speak in tongues". I knew that wasn't right. So I said so- She queried the leader- and then got back on the phone and told me- that Scripture is for in the church service. eg- yes all speak in tongues- just not in the church service. I didn't have much Bible understanding back then- so I just accepted that answer.

They also told me that Adam and Eve were not the 1st people. I started believing this- and I thought, well if the other churches have got this part wrong- then what else have they got wrong? I had only been saved 3 months!!! -gimme a break! hahaha

They gave me a lot of attention in regard to "showing" me stuff from the Bible. I was soon convinced/brainwashed -( after a couple of months I think) that their church's teaching was right. I can now see that I had no people helping me by stating opposing views to Revivals message. I needed the internet back then 7 years ago! Alas- I had no computer or internet. I'm pretty sure I never would have believed their message if I had access to other information and views. Oh well. Ya get that! It's all been for a reason- I'm sure that God has a plan!

Another contributing factor to my leaving the Hope of God church was that they sometimes- were all speaking in tongues in their meetings- I told a leader that the Bible says not to do that- 1st he said, "no new people are coming in- because it is near the end of the meeting..." ( that didn't cut it for me...) then he said " well that was written a very long time ago"- ( I can hardly believe that he really said that!)- So I told him straight away- that because of that- I am not going to their Hope of God church again! Now take note of this# ( if anybody's even reading this! hahahahaha) . That I was at Revival meeting in Morley one night- and they were all told to speak in tongues at the end of the meeting! Over a hundred people going for it. I couldn't believe it- That was why I left the other Hope of God church! Unbelievable. However this event happened after i'd been at Revival for years already! I was already up to my kneck in their doctrine. I asked a leader about it- they said that the doors were shut and were being manned. I still thought it was wrong, but held my peace.

Also, someone gave me some money- $100 or $150, it was probably (I'm not sure) a wonderful, loving man whom has passed away now. Everybody I know respected and loved that man. He was a rare exception in that church. I once saw a kid be sick over the hall's carpet during a meeting. He was not related to that child- yet he got straight out of his seat and got some cleaning stuff and proceeded to clean it up. What a servant! That incident brought tears to my eyes. I knew he wasn't just trying to save the old carpet- He was a wonderful man- full of love and - what a wonderful peace- maker. May God bless his soul for his love and good deeds. anyway.... back to my point- I thought what a wonderful thing for someone to give me that money- Thankyou whoever it was- (it may not have been that good man mentioned above.) So this act led to my attending Revival full-time too.

I also gave some leaders at that Hope of God church some papers explaining tongues salvation, and I asked them to tell me what they thought. Nobody bothered to read them or comment or help me or teach me. One man just said Revival was a cult- but would not go into detail. I wish that people would try to help others when they are so obviously seeking answers. It is not enough to just briefly talk with people- I needed an in depth bible study with others- I needed answers. I found none. The only people willing to speak about the Bible were the Revivalists. No wonder people end up there. I just didn't have access to other information- I guess I should've looked harder. Oh well.

So that's how i got into Revival.

Bible Numerics, British Israel, The Great Pyramid, Adam and Eve, the flood (local or world-wide), the thief on the cross (saved or not.)

Now, my point is... Why even teach these peripherals? I think they are a cause of contention to people. I have told this to PK who does not agree with me. He said Revival needed to take a stand on these issues, because they'd seem foolish if they didn't. Well- I think the opposite is true- they seem foolish by taking the stand for these non- essential issues. He said it's ok that I don't believe in their peripherals but I must not discuss my views and concerns with anybody but him and my husband. He said I was not even to talk to my friends about them.

Revival (Yangebup) taught us - and I heard Morely is similar- ...they teach these peripherals like they are facts!!! They mock others that believe differently to them- ( not realising that some of these people are sitting in front of them-(members of their own church!)) Why can't they just openly say that they don't really know if....point a is 100% true. ??? Why do they have to teach it like it's so right???

Some of the people I did talk to about some of these views- agreed with me about them...they said they'd studied it too and came up with their own -different view. I think PK needs to be aware that there are people in the church that don't agree with their peripheral teachings- I think he should ask around and see what people really believe. Instead everyone is told to keep their ideas to themselves-(the one's contrary to Revival's views.)

Other times I did raise valid questions about Adam and Eve, and the thief on the cross- I was looked down upon- " oh , the poor girl, doesnt even understand the basics yet..." ( that was the look!)ahhahaha Another person got very rude toward me and also said-" the next thing you'll be saying is that u don't need to speak in tongues to be saved! " Classic- And their words came true. ( much later though...) So is it true that if one doesn't agree with all the peripherals- then one will soon not believe in tongues4salvation??? hahahahaha.mmmmm.

Most people take it for granted that Revival's teaching on these issues is 100% truth ( just like their tongues- salvation message... NOT!! ahhaah) So if u do raise a point- most people just think the issue is so obvious- and they say" I'll pray for you..." mmmm. I had one lady tell me that God "revealed" the "truth" to her about a particular issue- My answer...I'm sorry- but I'm not really into that type of reasoning- as most of us know- there are many people that claim God told me this....point A and then another person says God told them that the same... point A is definitely not right!. So who do u believe??? None of them.

I have my own views on some peripherals- but I still barely care about them at all, and definitely wont argue about them... I will share my ideas... but in the end each person should settle what he believes about these things-(if anything)- in his own heart- and then just relax. What I care about is that they can be a stumbling block to people. The bottom line (I've got a lot of bottom line points!) ...is that nobody knows 100%(- except God-) that the flood was local-... people especially don't know 100% that people were created before Adam and Eve! ....No one knows 100% that Jesus was being sarcastic to that thief on the cross!- (and therefore he wasn't saved)(-note#this is what Revival teaches.).etc. So please just give ya strong stance on peripheral's up. Why does one have to take a stand on these issues? I think they have nothing to do with salvation.