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Tough_Call
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Date Posted:09/01/2012 1:50 AMCopy HTML

Hi all,

I haven't been on this website for a while now, but I have found it quite helpful in the past, when I was in the process of leaving the RF. I am a Christian, who has found comfort in the love and faithfulness of Jesus, and I am finding my way back into a mainstream church.

I have been out now of Revival for six months, and am finding the transition hard with the lack of support, and the ex-communication that comes with it. I am also experiencing a great sense of freedom as well, as I have so much more time to spend with people who count, pray and have more of a sense of wellbeing. 

  I am married to someone in the RF, and the fact that I have left RF is certainly taking it's toll. My partner is verbally abusive and destructive in his communication style. It doesn't matter that I've become happier, and closer to God, he can't see past the fact that I've left this group. I've started going to a different church, and have found it much more loving and caring. It is hard starting again at another group, but there is certainly freedom to ask questions etc. I have been thinking about possibly returning to the group, for the simple fact of keeping peace in our household and submitting and doing the right thing. I am a believer in God, and believe he is capable of tearing down walls and strongholds. My husband has had some time to think about things now, as I have been out for a while. Has anyone been in a situation where they have returned for the sake of the marriage, even if they don't agree with some of the doctrines. I believe there are many positive aspects to the church as well, and that maybe it is slowly changing in style and nature. Does anyone have an opinion on this?

In regards to the marriage, I know that marriage is for life and I am fully committed to making it work. My husband is receiving advice from oversight to make it work, yet ensure he is involved in church too. He has been harsh, judging and quite abusive verbally. It is worse when he comes back from a Revival function, and especially the camps. It seems that many people have experienced the pain of divorce due to marriage break downs, especially in these cultish groups. I am wondering if there are any couples who have managed to stay together, despite one partner leaving the group? I have not heard of one, which is really disappointing. 

If there is anyone out there in a similar situation or who has been through this trying time, I'd really appreciate some advice and support. I am torn between the possibilities of returning to Revival, or possibly losing my marriage. It is tough, and I want God to be the director of what comes next. Again, I'd really appreciate some advice from those who have travelled this path before.
Thank you very much. I love hearing stories of people who have moved on and made a real success of their lives and maintained their relationship with God. There are so many who turn away due to the hardships put on them!
Thanks for that..
Didaktikon Share to: Facebook Twitter MSN linkedin google yahoo #1
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Re:Marital advice from those who have gone before..

Date Posted:09/01/2012 6:30 AMCopy HTML

Hi, Amanda.

I have been thinking about possibly returning to the group, for the simple fact of keeping peace in our household and submitting and doing the right thing. I am a believer in God, and believe he is capable of tearing down walls and strongholds. My husband has had some time to think about things now, as I have been out for a while. Has anyone been in a situation where they have returned for the sake of the marriage, even if they don't agree with some of the doctrines. I believe there are many positive aspects to the church as well, and that maybe it is slowly changing in style and nature. Does anyone have an opinion on this? To return to the RF now would be a grave mistake. The RF simply isn't a part of the Christian church, and the 'doctrines' that it teaches are unbiblical and anti-Christian. Quite simply your circumstance isn't a choice of being in a 'mainstream church' versus being in the RF; it's more the case of being in a Christian church versus being in the RF.

It might help to learn that I've engaged with literally scores of people who've been in precisely the same situation as you are now. Some have returned to this or that Revivalist sect for the sake of the marriage/domestic harmony, most (thankfully) haven't. Of the total number I can't recall a single person from the former group who reported that they found lasting peace/happiness in returning to the 'vomit' of Revivalism. Not a one. Of the latter group, however, the majority discovered that God released their partners/families from the bondage of Revivalism in due course; only a minority actually lost their partner to the sect.

Scripture teaches that the Christian God is a god of recovery. It seems from what you've shared that he's 'recovered' you, and that you've 'discovered' him. It would be an immense tragedy were you to turn away from him now by (re)turning to the RF.

God bless,

Ian 
email: didaktikon@gmail.com
Biblianut Share to: Facebook Twitter MSN linkedin google yahoo #2
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Re:Marital advice from those who have gone before..

Date Posted:09/01/2012 9:09 AMCopy HTML

……the majority discovered that God released their partners/families from the bondage of Revivalism in due course; …….

Ian, an interesting statement. So be it, it is God that releases one from the bondage of Revivalism. Makes one wonder why it has taken over 35 years for him to release me, and at 65+ years. Still, I am very thankful he did. 

Ralph.

I believe in Christianity as I believe the sun has risen; not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else. C.S.Lewis.
MothandRust Share to: Facebook Twitter MSN linkedin google yahoo #3
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Re:Marital advice from those who have gone before..

Date Posted:09/01/2012 9:27 AMCopy HTML

Reply to Tough_Call

Hi all, I believe there are many positive aspects to the church as well, and that maybe it is slowly changing in style and nature. 

I think that was the 'murmur' I heard for all the seventeen years I was in Revival. "The boat is turning, but slowly" "Change is coming" "The 'church' is changing and growing", but it's change was always superficial. They can only build on the shaky stuff they've already built and the hierarchy go to great length to keep the franchise familiar. Change isn't coming unless it's another split that rise new knuckleheads with differing ideas into offshoot churches that are predominantly the same ... if you know what I mean by all that. 

There were positive aspects in Revival, but they were mainly social, in my opinion, and such a community can be found in much less controlling and balanced churches elsewhere. In fact, Revival is often over-communal with the amount of time they expect members to attend meeting along with the guilt-trips given if you don't attend enough prayer-and-fasts etc. A ridiculous amount of a family's free time on Sunday was spent forced to be passive while listening to these backyard ministers minister.

Your husband has been taught to put Jesus 'before' his wife, and that's the 'Revival' Jesus, and then he's probably being told to put the fellowship before you too. From my experience, he needs a wake-up call and good on you for showing him that happiness exists outside the 'fellowship'. He'll keep seeing it and if he has any sense he'll get some renewed perspective and follow your lead. Plenty of people followed mine and lead much happier married lives in better places than the Revival sect. :) to be very blunt :P
[LINK SiteName=Mothrust: Movies and Modern Myth Target=_blank]http://aintchristian.blogspot.com.au/[/LINK] Be nice, for everyone that you meet is fighting a harder battle - Anita Roddick
Epios Share to: Facebook Twitter MSN linkedin google yahoo #4
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Re:Marital advice from those who have gone before..

Date Posted:10/01/2012 6:29 AMCopy HTML



Hi Tough_Call,

You are definitely not alone.  There are others and plenty of them.  Currently I know one lady very well and two others who could relate to what you have shared.

In situations of this kind it has always been the Revival way that the church and the remaining member will never be at fault.  Blame for the ensuing marital difficulties will always fall on the one who is out.  After all it was he/she who chose to leave, so no blame can be attributed to anyone but that person.  Brought it all on themselves are some of the comments frequently used.

I'd have little or no faith in the advice your husband is being given by oversight.  They often lack experience and skill and naturally would have to be inclined to bias.  A firm grip on one half of a marriage doesn't indicate favourable changes coming about any time soon either.  More appropriate advice would have been for both you and your husband to receive some professional help from an independent marriage counsellor where, and very importantly, you would be assured of confidentiality!

Marriages do end, too many for any small organisation, expecially one that calls itself Spiritfilled and refer to themselves as "saints".  Some do survive and you can too, with patience and perseverance and perhaps in time both attend a church where the proof of God is seen in the people like you have already experienced.

Harsh, self righteousness and verbal abuse has no place in God's people.  That kind of bullying behaviour is not Christian.  It is very destructive and must be pointed out and stopped.  Do not take it, retreat from it.  Only with love and respect can worthwhile communication be achieved.

I hope I've helped a little.

My prayers are for you and your husband.

Epi





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