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Date Posted:09/05/2009 12:55 AMCopy HTML

LIFE

 

 

Summary of Life

 

GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:

 

1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats..

2) When your Mum is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.

3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.

4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.

5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.

6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.

7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.

8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.

9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.

10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's lap.

 

 

GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:

 

1) Raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree.

2) Wrinkles don't hurt.

3) Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts

4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground..

5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.

6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy.

 

 

 

GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD

 

1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional..

2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.

3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there.

4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.

5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.

6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician

7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.

 

 

THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:

 

1) You believe in Santa Claus.

2) You don't believe in Santa Claus.

3) You are Santa Claus.

4) You look like Santa Claus.

 

SUCCESS:

 

At age 4 success is . . . . not piddling in your pants.

At age 12 success is . . . having friends.

At age 17 success is . . having a driver's license.

At age 35 success is . . . .having money.

At age 50 success is . . . having money.

At age 70 success is . .. . having a drivers license.

At age 75 success is . . . having friends.

At age 80 success is . . . not piddling in your pants.

 

 

Always remember to forget the troubles that pass your way;

BUT NEVER forget the blessings that come each day.

 

 

Have a wonderful day with many ! *smiles*

 

 

Take the time to live!!!

Life is too short.

Dance naked. woo-hoo!

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Re:Life

Date Posted:15/08/2009 11:28 AMCopy HTML

http://www.storyofstuff.com/


Interesting. Makes me feel great to know I'm such a good little consumer and my country is a friend to the most parasitic nation on the face of the earth. Makes ya proud to be human.
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Re:Life

Date Posted:15/08/2009 3:09 PMCopy HTML

Wow Galien,

She brainwashed you in no time! Now let's see....if we put three suppositions together we get a fact. No wait was that that's three "statistics"? How about three hypocritical Al Gores (or was that Michael Moore's?) we get global warming! What's that you say? The earth has been cooling for the last decade? Oh um, then let's call it "climate change". Now we can justify rushing about like chickens with heads cut off because a mutual admiration society of boffins agree that the sea will rise 10 metres in the next decade....or was that 10 centimetres, or 100 metres, no wait 10 months, two decades, no wait, gosh it doesn't matter anyway, because scientists can't ever be wrong can they? Sort of like Revival Centre pastors or Y2K alarmists or Peace in our Time Neville Chamberlains, or how about how many thousands that were going to die because of Chernobyl? Or JFK "let's have a third world war because the Commies are going to overrun us"?

What's important is to trust politicians, especially ones that are so comfortably off it's not going to matter to them if they screw up the economy, with building wind farms and desalination plants, etc. because that will save everything! I have a good idea, why don't trust the Greens and stop building any infrastructure at all, no roads, no sewerage, no water, just like they want (apart from legalising gay marriage...a very green issue!), and have no limits on immigration at all (another Greens policy), and everything will work itself out!

Most of all let's hate the USA...everything is their fault...they're parasites, accept of course for the Democrats, because they have a black president now and despite what Doctor Martin Luther King said about not judging a man by the colour of his skin, he will succeed because he's black. No wait, there's more, he will succeed because he has a woman as secretary of state...and not just any woman...it's Hilliary! Now there's a lady you know you can trust! And Australia's politicians are playing the very same game. Same bucket, different manure. Oh except for the women. When they are in leadership, they are peacemakers and don't get involved in wars, well except for Margaret Thatcher (England), oh yes and Indira Gandhi (India), oh yes and Golda Meier (Israel), and Benazir Bhutto (Pakistan) and.... But women are so rational and caring....not like men at all, except of course when they outmen the men, then it's OK. A bit like racism, everyone else is a racist except the one crying racist. My skin shade is OK, yours isn't.

With this "Liberalism" as the Americans like to call it, or "Social Democracy" as we nurture our version of our hydra, comes such passionate care for our fellow man, especially the neutered feminist idea that its just peachy to abort one in three conceived children. Who put the "suffer" in suffragette? Oh the humanity!

Any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind, and therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls, it tolls for thee! (John Donne 1623).

John

p.s. She was asking you to buy her book. There's always a book, or a video or a DVD or a CD. Roll up suckers!
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Re:Life

Date Posted:15/08/2009 4:00 PMCopy HTML

Wow Galien,

Wow john, geez fella, take a chill pill. Tripping over your own cynicism stopped being cool years ago.

She brainwashed you in no time!

Ya think? If nine years of revival couldn't do it, 20 mins of that lady had no hope. You think I haven't heard this stuff a hundred times before?

 then let's call it "climate change".

For the record, I don't buy global warming. Greed, selfishness, materialism, elitism, general assholery I have no trouble buying.

because scientists can't ever be wrong can they?

Yes they can, and they often are. Just because science has been made intoa new religion, doesn't make it a very convincing one.


What's important is to trust politicians, especially ones that are so comfortably off it's not going to matter to them if they screw up the economy, with building wind farms and desalination plants, etc. because that will save everything! I have a good idea, why don't trust the Greens and stop building any infrastructure at all, no roads, no sewerage, no water, just like they want (apart from legalising gay marriage...a very green issue!), and have no limits on immigration at all (another Greens policy), and everything will work itself out!

Oh dear looks like Mr Brown has converted you. I didn't realise you liked boys. Never mind, I may still speak to you.


Most of all let's hate the USA...everything is their fault...they're parasites,

No just the planet extroverts who never shut the **** up. Im bored by their politics, their self centred inward looking plastic faces, breasts and personalities. Im sick of the bloody drone of their awful accents pouring from electronic media. They parasite on the back of every bit of attention the world has to offer. I just want them to shut up is all. Just go away for a year and give us all a rest. After revivals, they would be next on my most obnoxious list.

And Australia's politicians are playing the very same game.

No shit sherlock. We are awake you know.

 Same bucket, different manure. Oh except for the women. When they are in leadership, they are peacemakers and don't get involved in wars, well except for Margaret Thatcher (England), oh yes and Indira Gandhi (India), oh yes and Golda Meier (Israel), and Benazir Bhutto (Pakistan) and.... But women are so rational and caring....not like men at all, except of course when they outmen the men, then it's OK. A bit like racism, everyone else is a racist except the one crying racist. My skin shade is OK, yours isn't.

Anyone else you'd like to put the boot into? No, we should just leave the fate of the world in your capable hands.

With this "Liberalism" as the Americans like to call it, or "Social Democracy" as we nurture our version of our hydra, comes such passionate care for our fellow man, especially the neutered feminist idea that its just peachy to abort one in three conceived children.

Must just tucker you clean out being so perfect mr fremde

p.s. She was asking you to buy her book. There's always a book, or a video or a DVD or a CD. Roll up suckers!

Is that coz everyone's a sucker but you? It may come as a major shock, but you are not the only person around with the ability to think for yourself.
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Re:Life

Date Posted:16/08/2009 12:53 AMCopy HTML

Reply to Fremde,

Yes, chill out mate. Consider the thread I put this in, purely for a bit of entertainment away from the usual.

Fair enough for comment, but "geez"


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Re:Life

Date Posted:16/08/2009 4:34 PMCopy HTML

Galien,

As a much, much, lesser Caesar, "twice I was offered a kingly crown, and twice I did refuse is" (actually according to Shakespear it was thrice for Caesar). In my forties I was offered to stand for Federal Parliament twice. The first time, the party doing the offering lost that electorate, the second time they won. I subcribe to the "Dirty Harry" philosophy, that a man's got to know his limitations.....and not to be a legend in your own mind. You have an innate ability to see in what I post the total opposite to that which is stated. Aporia, ambiguity, euphemism, hyperbole and irony are lost on you. If I were to say you jump to strange conclusions you are just a likely to answer that you don't partake in track and field events, especially strange ones. I'd love to put you in a room with the comedienne Judith Lucy and sell tickets.

Many people make statements or hold dear to things, but thinking is a rare commodity. Where did I state I thought I was perfect? On the contrary I have attested before and I will again, I was chiefest among sinners, but for the grace of God and His protection I could easily fall back into sin. Satan reminds me continuously that I have no hope and am unworthy. I have nothing to offer for my salvation but Christ in me....the hope of glory.

I guess for you, the best part of having multiple peronalities, is that you will never be alone. My son just last week spoke of someone he and I know, describing them as a hammer whose sole purpose in life, is looking for nails. You could be that person's twin. By this stage of events, nothing you could convey, would shock me major or minor. Did I irk a little feminism in you? Was I was a tad politically incorrect?

Seguidor,

Chicanery (Annie Leonard's) is not what I would normally describe as entertainment. Two faced liberalism with a sugar coating is evil.

John
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Re:Life

Date Posted:16/08/2009 10:17 PMCopy HTML

Reply to Fremde

As a much, much, lesser Caesar, "twice I was offered a kingly crown, and twice I did refuse is" (actually according to Shakespear it was thrice for Caesar). In my forties I was offered to stand for Federal Parliament twice. The first time, the party doing the offering lost that electorate, the second time they won.

Now you sound like Ian. I should have known. Only a politician could take one comment from a person, made as a response to a stimulus material, and turn it into a diatribe on his own worldview. In this life it seems to be the scum that rise to what most consider the "top". Who would want to be a Caesar in this godless world?

Aporia, ambiguity, euphemism, hyperbole and irony are lost on you.

Not lost on me, I just didn't find your comments particularly amusing.

I'd love to put you in a room with the comedienne Judith Lucy and sell tickets.

That would end up a lot more interesting than you think, trust me. I have a natural propensity for being a smartass bitch, I was trained by the best. However that side of my personality shames me before God and I constantly seek him to help me keep it in restraint.

Many people make statements or hold dear to things, but thinking is a rare commodity.

You got that right. Not just thinking, but actually having thoughts of one's own instead of those rehashed over and over again from multiple sources. Oh the joy I feel when I hear an original one. Doesn't happen often. 

Where did I state I thought I was perfect? On the contrary I have attested before and I will again, I was chiefest among sinners, but for the grace of God and His protection I could easily fall back into sin. Satan reminds me continuously that I have no hope and am unworthy. I have nothing to offer for my salvation but Christ in me....the hope of glory.

For one to take such a position on SO many topics, clearly you think you could do a much better job. As for the christian spiel, I have heard it all before. That is what we are supposed to say isn't it. That's all very well and good, and I guess most people would be satisfied with that, but I'm not. We can all easily fall back into sin, but some sins are more obvious than others aren't they. Intelligence is a gift. Unfortunately human nature wants to turn it into something quite nasty, the sense of superiority. I have always wondered why christians still glory in gifts. The bible says the more we know, the more it hurts and that is true. For me that translates into the more we know the more humble we should be, the more likely to look after the weak. Unfortunately our human nature often intervenes and ego tries to run the show.

So, we are clever with words and can bitch at each other ad nauseum. God must be so proud.

I have nothing to offer for my salvation either. I am not like most people. For me life sucks, but fear god and keep his commandments anyway. Its his funhouse, not mine. Because my life is completley free from the fear that used to own me I can accept that life is unsafe and uncertain and live it to the fullest anyway.

I guess for you, the best part of having multiple peronalities, is that you will never be alone. My son just last week spoke of someone he and I know, describing them as a hammer whose sole purpose in life, is looking for nails. You could be that person's twin. By this stage of events, nothing you could convey, would shock me major or minor.

Oh that was funny. Yawn.

I am still shocked every single day by the shitty way humans treat each other, christians included. I hope I never lose that sense of shock.

Did I irk a little feminism in you? Was I was a tad politically incorrect?

I would be the first person to admit that male smartasses are like a red rag to a bull where I am concerned. I can't stand the attitude of people who think they are better than others by virtue of ANYTHING. Political incorrectness I could care less about. However, do not assume that because one is a feminist, one also approves of murdering babies.
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Re:Life

Date Posted:16/08/2009 10:31 PMCopy HTML

Fremde.

Perhaps for the want of a better word I should have said "interest"
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Re:Life

Date Posted:17/08/2009 3:11 AMCopy HTML

Galien there you go being the hammer again.

I say I turned down being a politician and you construe I didn't. The only thing I regret is their pension! For the record, I generally don't vote. It is hard to find sincere or moral politicians or candidates in any of the parties.

Ian doesn't need me to defend him, but it is ironic that you malign his character and mine, and yet wear as a badge that you are a smartarse bitch (by the way the word is "arse" not "ass" I thought you hated everything American?) and blame God because He hasn't changed you? Hmmmm.

True to form you assume that I think I could do a better job. If that were true would not I have accepted candidacy for election? You accuse others of being opinionated and yet choose to act like a vituperative shrew at every chance. 

The feminist lobby with it's major storefront "Emily's List" refuses entry to any woman that is pro life. Perhaps I do malign the 0.000001% of feminists that are not pro abortion. There's a bumper sticker that says it all "FEMINISM - THAT HAUNTING FEAR THAT SOME MAN SOMEWHERE MAY BE HAPPY"

You often post that life sucks. Perhaps if you started thanking God and praising Him for life itself and the beauty in His creation (He has made everything beautiful in his time. Ecclesiastes 3:11) and did the same to others you might not wallow in self pity. You say you joy when you find an original opinion. You come across as joyless, pitiless and rancorous. As for me and mine we are thankful for our blessings. My cup runneth over (Psalm 23) so much, my feet are getting wet!

I do thank you for showing me just how much I have to thank God for. It's a pity you feel the need to play the "Bizarro" to my wife (and Ian's methinks). http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bizarro

Once more into the breech dear friends......

John
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Re:Life

Date Posted:17/08/2009 3:17 AMCopy HTML

Seguidor,

Take no heed, I feel you meant no ill. It just touched a nerve and was exacerbated by the usual suspect.

Pray pardon my offence.

John
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Re:Life

Date Posted:17/08/2009 3:53 AMCopy HTML

Galien there you go being the hammer again.

I say I turned down being a politician and you construe I didn't. The only thing I regret is their pension! For the record, I generally don't vote. It is hard to find sincere or moral politicians or candidates in any of the parties.

I didn't construe that you didn't. The political mindset is what I meant.

Ian doesn't need me to defend him, but it is ironic that you malign his character and mine, and yet wear as a badge that you are a smartarse bitch (by the way the word is "arse" not "ass" I thought you hated everything American?) and blame God because He hasn't changed you? Hmmmm.

I wasn't maligning anyone's charater. i was mentining that he also has turned down positions of authority. I can spell it however I like. I never said God hadn't changed me. What I said was that I have no illusions about my faults.

True to form you assume that I think I could do a better job. If that were true would not I have accepted candidacy for election? You accuse others of being opinionated and yet choose to act like a vituperative shrew at every chance. 

There is a certain type of man that reeks of knowing it all and always being right. I don't know that they recognise this in themselves, or that other men bring it to their attention. My ex husband tells me it is the role of women to point out to men when they are being assholes. Could be part of that male bonding thing. You know, when men stand around in a circle talking with folded arms and their hips thrust forward. I don't pretend to understand it. But I do find the entire attitude highly offensive.

Not ever having had the pleasure of a live in father who wasn't drunk and violent, I never developed the belief that men hold the correct opinion by virtue of their gender, or the fact they could beat me to death at the drop of a hat if I challenged them.

The feminist lobby with it's major storefront "Emily's List" refuses entry to any woman that is pro life. Perhaps I do malign the 0.000001% of feminists that are not pro abortion. There's a bumper sticker that says it all "FEMINISM - THAT HAUNTING FEAR THAT SOME MAN SOMEWHERE MAY BE HAPPY"

Feminism isn't about that for all of us. You need to understand that just because I have an opinion, it usually does NOT reflect the opinion of the group that identifies itself as feminist, or christian for that matter. I have no opinion on the individual happiness of men. I don't think much of humans generally, regardless of gender, and strangely I am entitled to that opinion.

You often post that life sucks. Perhaps if you started thanking God and praising Him for life itself and the beauty in His creation (He has made everything beautiful in his time. Ecclesiastes 3:11) and did the same to others you might not wallow in self pity.

Think what you want, you will anyway. If you have had the kind of life that allows you to do that, more power to you. For those of us that haven't, try having a little compassion. Like so many people, you think everything can be cured. Sometimes John it is the ignorance of the average person with regard to emotional trauma that is the very thing that prevents people getting better. Have you ever tried taking a step back from who you THINK you are dealing with and look at it from another point of view? When it comes to the human mind and heart one size does NOT fit all.

You say you joy when you find an original opinion. You come across as joyless, pitiless and rancorous. As for me and mine we are thankful for our blessings. My cup runneth over (Psalm 23) so much, my feet are getting wet!

Because I don't make the expected noises to please the masses, but call it as I see it? Did you ever hear me say I was not thankful for anything? Truth is I could tell you anything, make you believe anything I want about me, but I prefer to tell the truth. Having spent pretty much all of my life suffering from severe depression which has almost killed me more than once, I guess joy is not something I have experienced a lot of. Coupled with allowing people to abuse me consistently over many years because I turned the other cheek and forgave, which was what I thought god wanted, no it hasn't been plain sailing that's for sure.

But if you think I am going to pretend none of it happened for the comfort of others you would be wrong. It is a miracle of god's love and patience that I still stand today, better than I ever have been. I don't give a flying fig about the stuff I am "supposed" to say. All that mushy stuff that the average person lives in means nothing to me. My faith is raw and so am I.


I do thank you for showing me just how much I have to thank God for. It's a pity you feel the need to play the "Bizarro" to my wife (and Ian's methinks). http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bizarro

Call me what you like, its all been said before, but not the bizzaro thing. I collect the labels people put on me. I find them amusing. According to you I am vituperative shrew, a hammer, joyless, pitiless and rancorous, the usual suspect. You may wish to refer to my story of the Wemmicks I posted some time back.

According to my partner I am the kindest, most forgiving and most accepting person he has ever met. But then he appreciates my honesty. Not everyone will, most people cannot tolerate it in its purest form.
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Re:Life

Date Posted:18/08/2009 12:11 AMCopy HTML

Just some thoughts, feedback would be appreciated.

We come into this world and are socialised into certain patterns of behaviour, for the social good apparently. We are taught that some lies are okay. We are taught to judge. We are taught there is a continuum of people with scum at one end and the successful at the other. We learn to assess others and place them on that continuum, then compare ourselves to them. We then treat others based on their position on that continuum. Society teaches us to value certain things, particularly the pursuit of material possessions, which are supposed to make us happy, and cause others to place us at the "right" end of the continuum.

From my observations of Jesus, he didn't have a continuum. The only people he got angry at were those who were self righteous or put money first. As a christian, it has always annoyed me that the above behaviour in people doesnt seem to change when they become christians. For me the whole judgement thing, and the pecking order needs to be rejected, and we need to treat people equally. Jesus died for all of us, no matter where we are socially. Why do we need to cling on to the rubbish this world feeds us when our lives are hid in Christ, and at times use it to judge and hurt others?
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Re:Life

Date Posted:02/12/2010 10:37 PMCopy HTML

god doesn't kill people  People with gods do.

yes ian we all know there are people with out gods that also kill people
but they don't need to follow this commandment.  "Don't bump anybody off  please"  signed god. Unless it's in my name and I tell you too etc.

Do you think the Exception to the rule book is larger than the rule book? It has to be and it's being added to each and every day.

Cancer is a good thing It give god a chance to show how miracles work in real life.
Some cancers brought to you by the following countries.
http://www.ctbto.org/specials/1945-1998-by-isao-hashimoto/
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Re:Life

Date Posted:02/12/2010 10:43 PMCopy HTML

Guest,

Well that was certainly random!

Ian
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