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Bustopher
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Date Posted:15/02/2011 2:36 PMCopy HTML

My wife has been going to the Revival Fellowship for nearly eighteen months (since September 2009) was baptised in Feb 2010 and "received" in March 2010.

When she started going I wasn't overly concerned.  One of her workmates introduced her, and her workmate's husband is a Pastor (whatever that means).

It wasn't until a few months ago when I started to get concerned.  My wife started to take on a sanctimonious holier-than-thou approach to life and in December 2010, after 12 years of marriage and overcoming many problems, she told me she didn't love me any more and wanted a divorce.   This all came out of the blue without warning whatsoever.

Immediately I started to wonder where the thoughts had come from and looked at her church.   Oh dear.   Have I left it too late?   I've done a lot of research on the RF over the last few months, so I don't need to be informed of its shortcomings, teachings and the Pastors' Manual guidelines.

I've been to many RF gatherings, and have attended five Sunday meetings at Gosford and one at New Lambton (NSW).  In all of the Sunday meetings, the sermons have been ranting crap - the one at New Lambton done by a bloke called Ian was actually quite offensive.  If there had been any Muslims attending the fellowship I reckon he'd have needed to have a good look under his car before driving home that afternoon - and with just cause from what he said, IMHO!   He opened by belittling the Muslim faith and then three minutes later was going on about the need to be humble.  I cracked up, and took a bit to stop laughing, everyone was turning around looking at me in that self-righteous pseudo-indignant manner they seem to be able to do quite well.

I find the sermons seem to quote random verses of the bible and then use them to prove anything-you-like.  For instance one sermon tried to link the book of Ecclesiastes with knowledge of the coming of Christ.  I've gone through Eccelsiastes a number of times before and since, and I can't see any LINK with Jesus in it, let alone a forshadowing of his coming.

But that's all beside the point.  My wife has swallowed it hook line and sinker, and while she used to be a nice person last year, she's now been converted into a self-righteous bitch.   Apparently she's been talking about divorce with elders of the church.  They've told her it's not an option (thank YOU, 1 Corinthians 14).  So now she's "tolerating" me and doesn't want a divorce.

However, with her in that way, *I'm* the one now thinking about a divorce.  Nothing I seem to be able to say has any effect on her.  I've proven a number of illogical things about the fellowship, shown her extracts from the Pastors' Manual, discussed many parts of the sermons and the biblical "lessons", gone along to half a dozen Sunday meetings just to be sure that there might be something in it, but I'm now right at the end of my tether.

I've been given all the advice under the sun - be careful, don't try to do too much at once, don't insult her beliefs, take it easy on her and all that stuff, but she's just a lost cause to this cult.  It is SOOOO sad.  In Feb 2008 I spent three months in hospital after nearly dieing, and she came down EVERY day from Gosford to Royal North Shore hospital, a commute over an hour and half each way.  2 years later it looks like it's coming to an end.

Is there some magic secret that I can use to just snap her out of it?    Do I have to not just threaten to leave, but actually leave for a while?  Can I simply forbid her from attending the RF as per 1 Corinthians 14 ?  Or do I just need to be patient and wait for some event to happen at the RF that is going to turn her away from the congregation?

Having met many followers of the RF at various events, picnics, dinners and meetings I can say that they are quite detestable people.  Perhaps this will be the catalyst for her awakening???   Please help - I've probably heard what you're going to say already, but who knows, something might just unlock this puzzle for me!
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Re:How do I make her see sense?

Date Posted:15/02/2011 11:35 PMCopy HTML

Bustopher, I'm really sorry you're in this position, it must be awful for you and it's commendable that you see the situation for what it is - an awful cult has gotten hold of your wife.

But there's a problem here in that, unlike so many others who get caught in the way of these groups, your wife is an adult. One presumes she knows her own mind and has consciously chosen to become a part of this cult and its false teaching, which poses a difficulty for you, I think.

Would it not be helpful to discover exactly what's at the root of her choosing to be a part of them? Once you discover the real reason for her adherence to the group it may help you decide on the solution.

For example, is it because she actually likes their teaching? Does it accord with her own personality, aspects of which you may not even have been aware of till now? Or perhaps she has met 'friends' there? Was she introduced by someone and doesn't feel she can leave because of these 'friends'? Or, was there an already existing problem in your relationship and this is her way of asserting some kind of independence from you? (Hard, I know, but possible in some situations).

In other words, unless you can discover what is at the root of her joining them, you can't find the right solution, because if she is wilfully going because these people and their awful teachings appeal to her, then you have to ask if this is the kind of woman you want to be married to, don't you? But if she is going because there is an element of coercion, perhaps due to a sense of responsibility to a friend, then there is the possibility that you can try to extract her from the group and see sense. Do you see what I mean?

But if you find that she wilfully goes and that's what she wants her life to be and she is willing to override your desires, needs etc at the expense of this group and to your detriment, then don't be fooled into staying. Leave - and she'll either smell the coffee or you can thank God you've been set free.

If she is someone who is wilfully going against what you believe is right, this is potentially very destructive for you and unless you want to be a part of them, get out. But you need to discover the root before you can discover the solution.

Glad-to be out Share to: Facebook Twitter MSN linkedin google yahoo #2
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Re:How do I make her see sense?

Date Posted:16/02/2011 4:59 AMCopy HTML

 Bustopher....have sent you a PM....check your mailbox.
Cheers,
Glad
"Faith is not about everything turning out OK; Faith is about being OK no matter how things turn out."
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Re:How do I make her see sense?

Date Posted:03/03/2011 1:40 AMCopy HTML


Hiya

I am so sorry to hear about your plight I went through the same thing myself and lost my wife to the Cult, from my experience I would have done something different if I had my time over again.

If it was me I would gather every member of her family, friends and whoever else cares for her and explain that she has been brainwashed by a cult. Get as many people to help you as you can, then take her away where she can have no contact with the cult (you have to be prepared for this to take as long as it takes) the last thing I would do is find someone who has experience in de-programming the brainwashed, there are people out there that specialise in this sort of thing.

By gathering everyone together and showing them what she is involved with you will have more chance of helping her.

You cannot let her near the cult because there system is so well practiced they will always have an answer for her everytime you try and disprove one of their theories. If you have children whatever you do dont let them go with her.

I know my idea sounds extreme but remember the people you are dealing with are even more extreme.

One last thing and this is going to sound terrible but happened to me so I am only trying to help you by telling you of my experience. If you have joint accounts move your money quickly, deny her any opportunity of getting near the houshold funds or savings otherwise they will be gone before you know it, also check to make sure she is not opening accounts in her own name only, that happened to me and emptied our joint accounts into one of her own name, when it comes to court you dont get that money back.

As to the divorce issue, yes you are right they cant divorce you but you can divorce them and that will be what they will be going for now so brace yourself because the CULT does like to take their cut from the divorce proceedings awarded to her.

Good luck to you, I hope you beat those bastards and get your wife back.
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Re:How do I make her see sense?

Date Posted:04/09/2011 10:28 AMCopy HTML

I've stumbled across this whilst researching the Revival Centres.  My fiance have bipolar disorder and about a month ago he had an episode.  During this somehow he has been lured into a revival centre who actively advise against any medication and being in a relationship with someone who isn't in the church.  Then, a couple of weeks ago, he ended the engagement and has cut off contact.
I'm terrified that he's been sucked into the world of this organisation, has come off his medication and could end up in very real harm.

I'm struggling to find how to get him to 'snap out of it' and realise what's happening to him.
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Re:How do I make her see sense?

Date Posted:04/09/2011 10:43 AMCopy HTML

The Revival Centres to my knowledge don't actively advise against peopel taking medication. Are you sure this is a Revival CENTRE?
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Re:How do I make her see sense?

Date Posted:04/09/2011 1:02 PMCopy HTML

 If they have joined a group associated with the GRC then they DO actively advise people NOT to take their meds.

Bi-polar and any other mental illness is not recognised by the GRC.....they deny all mental conditions.

I would have to agree with guest No 3's method of trying to intervene and get family and friends on-side, but you know how hard it is to get a person with bi-polar who is off their meds to see the situation as it really is.

Sects such as the GRC and its branches use any situation where a person is vulnerable to their own advantage and heaven help the poor soul who is sucked into the vortex of mind control and manipulation that dominates the methods of indoctrination into the group/cult.

Once in their clutches, it is very hard to break free, even for a completely stable person.

It is best to go all out now while they are still in the beginning stages of the indoctrination process, rather than wait for the 'right' opportunity. Somehow, 'the right opportunity' is always turned back to their advantage if you wait.

Appeal to the pre-cult personality, which is easier said than done with a person who has bi-polar and is not 'level' at the moment.

I empathise with you and wish you every success.  
prezy Share to: Facebook Twitter MSN linkedin google yahoo #7
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Re:How do I make her see sense?

Date Posted:05/09/2011 12:31 AMCopy HTML

Very good advise, and it is absolutly true, Hollins does not recognise mental illness, even if it proven from a brain scan! My wife had a big argument with him about it and told him he should walk a mile in her moccasins. His wise and mature reply was "I know whos testimony I prefer". What a leader. Very dangerous person.
¡uıɐƃɐ ʎɐqǝ ɯoɹɟ pɹɐoqʎǝʞ ɐ ƃuıʎnq ɹǝʌǝu
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Re:How do I make her see sense?

Date Posted:06/09/2011 9:37 AMCopy HTML

 Hello Bustopher,

This really seems like a case for a professional counsellor. 

I am not experienced enough to give you a fool-proof answer on this dilemma, but what springs to my mind straight off is:

Find out what her Gospel is.   The weakness of all revival cults is that their gospel is perverted, so go straight for the jugular.  The gospel is universal for all who confess Christ came in the flesh.  If other christians are not christians, well why not?  See the creeds of the universal church, Nicene creed, apostles creed.  No tongues in there.  Have lots of prayer, never give up, never let go.  Peace be with you.

Prayerfully,
Paul Miles.  (MrK)
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