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Anonymous
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Date Posted:26/02/2007 11:21 AMCopy HTML

I joined the the RF just around 12 montsh ago. I have since been married and desperatley need out. The issue is my now wife whom I love dearly and her child ( who lives with  us full time ) will not see or here any of my pleas.  with the delicate hints and things I have said have been instantly relayed to 'pastor'. Resulting in alot of time spent in his office being questioned and lectures.  My wife of 6 months has made it clear that if I leave the church she will leave me.  Being told the theory on leaving the lord is a direct path to hell.  My problem is I know too  much to keep on going to these ridiculous meetings 4 times a week being brainwashed by a bloke who thinks his got a direct line to God. I guess I am at the stage do I live a lie and continue or do I stand for what i believe in and leave the so called church knowing I will loose my wife and kid.     I am really desperate to get out it makes me sick but not sure how to do this without destroying my new family..  Any advice would be good to hear..
dogmafree Share to: Facebook Twitter MSN linkedin google yahoo #1
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Re:Floating up Stream

Date Posted:26/02/2007 12:07 PMCopy HTML

Hmmm, heavy situation you're in there Anon!

When I was expressing to a RF pastor my personal doubts at continuing, he suggested that it was a free world, and I could leave if I wanted, BUT that he doubted my marriage would survive. It was the hardest decision of my life to do what I knew in my heart was right....to leave. It carried the risk of losing all that was near and dear to me... my family and everything my life consisted of.

That is a hideous game to play with people's lives.... unforgivably sick! Their game of fear and intimidation is very subtle.

Seven years later, my family is as intact as ever, despite their fear tactics.

Time to decide what is right for you, I'd say. Do your best to reason with your wife and help her see the tyranny, control and manipulation that they are using, and show her your love and commitment to your relationship. It is a tremendous LIE that your marriage and your continuing with the RF are somehow linked.

You can rise above this and show the bastards that they have NO RIGHT to interfere with your life!


Dog.
"for there is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so" Shakespeare (Hamlet, Act 2, Scene 2)
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Re:Floating up Stream

Date Posted:26/02/2007 12:42 PMCopy HTML

Reply to : dogmafree

Hmmm, heavy situation you're in there Anon!When I was expressing to a RF pastor my personal doubts at continuing, he suggested that it was a free world, and I could leave if I wanted, BUT that he doubted my marriage would survive. It was the hardest decision of my life to do what I knew in my heart was right....to leave. It carried the risk of losing all that was near and dear to me... my family and everything my life consisted of.That is a hideous game to play with people's lives.... unforgivably sick! Their game of fear and intimidation is very subtle.Seven years later, my family is as intact as ever, despite their fear tactics.Time to decide what is right for you, I'd say. Do your best to reason with your wife and help her see the tyranny, control and manipulation that they are using, and show her your love and commitment to your relationship. I

Are you no longer in the GRC? Its seems so easy but I am struggling to speak with her about these things. She blocks them out generally starts to cry telling me I have changed and that I will have to leave as I will go to hell. We saw an ad on TV last night on meat of all things.  The bloke on the ad said 'man has been eating red meat for 2 million years'  She said 'oh what a lie' I could help but ride this wave and said yeah that s about true. She then challeged me on my beliefs of evolution.  I said that there is just as much edivence on evolution as there is on God. She said perhaps we should talk to pastor!

Everything is 'we should talk to pastor'  I wanted to miss an outing perhaps you should call pastor.  we were recently told about men who wear jewellery are 'weak and stupid' And that woman that wear jewellry on there feet are prostitutes. I nearly flipped out.  When i spoke to my wife afterwards saying that such issues are not for 'pastor' to dictate she went and told him that I have an issue amoung other subtle things that I discussed with her as my wife.  Dragged into his office with his oversight in toe. Had my ear chewn off and told to pull my head. He then said 'if you have a problem with the ministry do not discuss it with your wife as they will 9 times out of ten take the ministrys side'  Thats when I  realised I have no say in my life not even with my wife.  How did you get your family out of such of a hole.. 

She has made it clear if I speak against the pastor or the church she will leave me.  She has even said If i speak to anyone including her parent she will leave me no questions asked. 

Pretty good for a 6 month old marriage.........

 At this point my whole life is one big lie.  I cant speak to anyone about it and do not know what to do.  At the moment I am so close of just putting it all behind me and telling her about this forum and the lies that this so called church is and leaving it up to her.  Hoping that she sees reason but not likely as they are always over at our house virually every night and Saturdays when there is no outings.  They have started to send one or two people from the church to visit me at work which have been lucky enough to have my receptionist send them away. Now they drop over either to work or home whenever they like they constantly call me for no reasons at all.  The women of this so called group do not allow my wife to think  for herself and forever in her ear calling, visiting. Just over it all...

I know that my wife will never listen to me when she has the church bending the truth with a biblical doctrine of pure evil and fear !    

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Re:Floating up Stream

Date Posted:26/02/2007 1:21 PMCopy HTML

Reply to : Anonymous


Wow what an eye opener, email me if you want. mrhonfire@hotmail.com  is this stuff happening in an RF Fellowship? I've never heard of anything so awful.

I'm in shock


it is the glory of God to conceal a matter but the honour of kings to search it out.
dogmafree Share to: Facebook Twitter MSN linkedin google yahoo #4
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Re:Floating up Stream

Date Posted:26/02/2007 1:53 PMCopy HTML

ANONYMOUS, PLEASE CLARIFY.....................

Your initial post said you joined the RF (Revival Fellowship). Later you speak of the Geelong Revival Centre. Which is it?

Get the fuck outta that place and do what you can to get your wife outta there too!

Dog.
"for there is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so" Shakespeare (Hamlet, Act 2, Scene 2)
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Re:Floating up Stream

Date Posted:26/02/2007 2:07 PMCopy HTML

Reply to : dogmafree

ANONYMOUS, PLEASE CLARIFY.....................Your initial post said you joined the RF (Revival Fellowship). Later you speak of the Geelong Revival Centre. Which is it?Get the fuck outta that place and do what you can to get your wife outta there too!Dog.
It is called the RF but we fall under the GRC..  We are a branch of the GRC..
dogmafree Share to: Facebook Twitter MSN linkedin google yahoo #6
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Re:Floating up Stream

Date Posted:26/02/2007 3:03 PMCopy HTML

Now ya got me confused!!!
"for there is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so" Shakespeare (Hamlet, Act 2, Scene 2)
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Re:Floating up Stream

Date Posted:26/02/2007 3:25 PMCopy HTML

Reply to : Anonymous

Reply to : dogmafreeANONYMOUS, PLEASE CLARIFY.....................Your initial post said you joined the RF (Revival Fellowship). Later you speak of the Geelong Revival Centre. Which is it?Get the fuck outta that place and do what you can to get your wife outta there too!Dog.It is called the RF but we fall under the GRC.. We are a branch of the GRC..

I'm with the Dog, hey i got an email from some ex GRC's last week.

Why don't you log on properly and supply an email I'm sure there are people dying to help you, you may see that you are absolutely not alone.

The guys who contacted me had no idea there were other people out here who believed in the salvation message they had been taught but also had a freedom to think for themselves and even ask challenging questions

it is the glory of God to conceal a matter but the honour of kings to search it out.
light and dark Share to: Facebook Twitter MSN linkedin google yahoo #8
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Re:Floating up Stream

Date Posted:26/02/2007 5:13 PMCopy HTML

Reply to : Anonymous



I joined the the RF just around 12 montsh ago. I have since been married and desperatley need out. The issue is my now wife whom I love dearly and her child ( who lives with us full time ) will not see or here any of my pleas. with the delicate hints and things I have said have been instantly relayed to 'pastor'. Resulting in alot of time spent in his office being questioned and lectures. My wife of 6 months has made it clear that if I leave the church she will leave me. Being told the theory on leaving the lord is a direct path to hell. My problem is I know too much to keep on going to these ridiculous meetings 4 times a week being brainwashed by a bloke who thinks his got a direct line to God. I guess I am at the stage do I live a lie and continue or do I stand for what i believe in and leave the so called church knowing I will loose m





Hi Anonymous

You are in a really awful predicament - living a lie or your marriage. One thing I know for sure is that life is better on the outside and the longer you stay the harder it is to leave. Having grown up in the Revival Centres I was married at 18. Ten years on I am still married, but I am no longer in the RC / RF. My husband (then boyfriend) came to the church services because he loved me and my dad would not let him be anywhere near me if he did not attend. He was treated as if he were diseased because I would not pretend that we were not dating and we all know that dating outside of the insestuous church is not permittted. As such they refused to baptise him - they correctly guessed that he was only doing it so we could be together. My whole family left the church and we were married at 18 - the brainwashing does not just go away by leaving. I could not stay at a church that would not allow me to be with the person I loved. My marriage has had some extreme ups and downs due to how young we were when we got married and due to my learning to live in a world outside the church.

How long has your wife been with the RC / RF?? This will make a difference when and if you leave. You should not stay in a church that you know teaches false doctrine and is such an unhealthy way of living. However, risking your marriage by leaving is a huge price to pay. The question you need to ask yourself is whether it can survive you staying and her running to the pastors constantly and the whole congregation treating you as a leaper. I have seen it so many times. These marriages either go on forever with unhappiness, guilt and anger or they end and the spouse that stays is supported in the divorce as choosing the church is seen as far better in "the Lords" eyes than the sin of divorce.

For you were once darkness,
Now you are the light in the LORD
Live as Children of Light.
Ephisians 5:8
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Re:Floating up Stream

Date Posted:27/02/2007 6:14 AMCopy HTML

Reply to : light and dark

Reply to : AnonymousI joined the the RF just around 12 montsh ago. I have since been married and desperatley need out. The issue is my now wife whom I love dearly and her child ( who lives with us full time ) will not see or here any of my pleas. with the delicate hints and things I have said have been instantly relayed to 'pastor'. Resulting in alot of time spent in his office being questioned and lectures. My wife of 6 months has made it clear that if I leave the church she will leave me. Being told the theory on leaving the lord is a direct path to hell. My problem is I know too much to keep on going to these ridiculous meetings 4 times a week being brainwashed by a bloke who thinks his got a direct line to God. I guess I am at the stage do I live a lie and continue or do I stand for what i believe in and leave the so called c
I suppose the decision is up to me but just cant get my head around it.. Do i count my loses and leave ( losing my wife hoping she follows ) or stay in as long as i can. Its just when I get ready to go to meetings I start to feel angry and quite frustrated. I dont want to loose my wife but at the end of the day I just can NOT keep going to this church....
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Re:Floating up Stream

Date Posted:27/02/2007 6:46 AMCopy HTML

Reply to : Anonymous

Hey Anon

If she really loves you she will do everything she can to work things out with you after you leave. Take it from one who knows, you can't have a onesided marriage. Both of you need to be just as committed to eachother - sad but true. I'm sorry I can't help you more. My heart goes out to you.
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Re:Floating up Stream

Date Posted:27/02/2007 8:00 AMCopy HTML

Have you been through simular? The thing is she is so strong for there doctrine there ways and what they say that even if I try to talk about it in a  subtle way she gets angry telling me that I should talk to pastor.  Then either walks out and cries or just starts abusing me telling me if I am not of the Lord then she does not want me around. Saying that last year you believed now i feel so ripped off.  She cant see I am not the one ripping her off . I just cant crack the shell and really do not want to hurt her by not following the leader &  leaving the church. But I just cant attending for the wrong reasons. I love my wife but WANT OUT of the church !! 

 

Reply to : Anonymous


Reply to : AnonymousHey AnonIf she really loves you she will do everything she can to work things out with you after you leave. Take it from one who knows, you can't have a onesided marriage. Both of you need to be just as committed to eachother - sad but true. I'm sorry I can't help you more. My heart goes out to you.
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Re:Floating up Stream

Date Posted:27/02/2007 8:30 AMCopy HTML

Reply to : Anonymous

I grew up in the RC / RF and have seen so many marriages fall apart in similar circumstances. I have also just watched my best friend get divorced when she loved her husband more than words, yet he was not intersted in keeping the marriage together. How long has your wife been a member? Are her family also involved?? Unfortunately I have to say that of course she feels jipped - she married someone "In the Lord" and believed that that ment a lifetime in the RC / RF and children to be born and bred in the church. You need to work out what you can and cant live with. Dogmafee (a regular poster) has left the centres and his wife is still a member maybe he could give you some advice?? Above all else I would say get out and work out your own faith / walk with God. Don't stay somewhere that is stripping your spirit and causing you this much angst and hatred. If she loves you, really loves you then your leaving wont ruin your marriage. Unfortunately RC / RF's are indoctrinated to love the church (not God) above all else. I can promise you that she is being quoted scriptures such as Matthew 19:29 "And everyone who has left their houses or brothers or sisters or fathers or moters or children or fields for my sake will receive a hundred times as much and will inherit eternal life". Note that Jesus never said anyone who has left their husband or their wife. But the oversite will for a time encourage her to pray for you to return to the flock and then start telling her to leave you. Sadly only you have the answers for yourself. I will pray for you and your situation, if you still have enough faith in God I would suggest that you do the same, only he has the power to soften your wifes heart and open her eyes to the truth.

Good luck.



Have you been through simular? The thing is she is so strong for there doctrine there ways and what they say that even if I try to talk about it in a subtle way she gets angry telling me that I should talk to pastor. Then either walks out and cries or just starts abusing me telling me if I am not of the Lord then she does not want me around. Saying that last year you believed now i feel so ripped off. She cant see I am not the one ripping her off . I just cant crack the shell and really do not want to hurt her by not following the leader & leaving the church. But I just cant attending for the wrong reasons. I love my wife but WANTOUT of the church !!Reply to : AnonymousReply to :




Text to be made bold
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Re:Floating up Stream

Date Posted:27/02/2007 9:16 AMCopy HTML

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Reply to : AnonymousI grew up in the RC / RF and have seen so many marriages fall apart in similar circumstances. I have also just watched my best friend get divorced when she loved her husband more than words, yet he was not intersted in keeping the marriage together. How long has your wife been a member? Are her family also involved?? Unfortunately I have to say that of course she feels jipped - she married someone "In the Lord" and believed that that ment a lifetime in the RC / RF and children to be born and bred in the church. You need to work out what you can and cant live with. Dogmafee (a regular poster) has left the centres and his wife is still a member maybe he could give you some advice?? Above all else I would say get out and work out your own faith / walk with God. Don't stay somewhere that is stripping your spirit and causing you this much angst and hatred.
But arent we forgetting the FREEDOM of CHOICE. Freedom of thought.  She may feel jipped but surely I still have the God given right of choice. The church is not a church but a CULT.  Once one becomes aware of it they would be stupid to think that it is ok.  These uneducated pastors bag freedom of choice struth we awere told from the platform not to encourage our kids to use there brains and dont allow them to be free spirits but control them.  I had my doubts about the church but when I 'googled' 'NHH' and the RF/RC a cult awareness website came flashing up on the screen then i read and read read and read then found this forum.  I am scared and sad on what  Ihave done in the past 12 months I want my life back and i know its not following SIMON SAYS SIMON SAYS : the fact that my wife feels jipped can not be put on my shoulders for my burden but the truth is its a cult and  i am so affraid and now I want out .  Suppose i just need advice on prevous situations where the husband wakes up and finds that he is a cult and his wife is brain washed by these FREAKS ? I  dont want to loose her but I would sooner die than continue going to this cult..
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Re:Floating up Stream

Date Posted:28/02/2007 7:13 AMCopy HTML

Reply to : Anonymous

Reply to : AnonymousReply to : AnonymousI grew up in the RC / RF and have seen so many marriages fall apart in similar circumstances. I have also just watched my best friend get divorced when she loved her husband more than words, yet he was not intersted in keeping the marriage together. How long has your wife been a member? Are her family also involved?? Unfortunately I have to say that of course she feels jipped - she married someone "In the Lord" and believed that that ment a lifetime in the RC / RF and children to be born and bred in the church. You need to work out what you can and cant live with. Dogmafee (a regular poster) has left the centres and his wife is still a member maybe he could give you some advice?? Above all else I would say get out and work out your own faith / walk with God. Don't stay somewhere that
Has anyone else experienced losing wife / husband after leaving the church.. How did you do it and have you any advise. 
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