Thank God for church ladies with typewriters. These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services:(Winter, 2007 Release)?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-comfficeffice" />--------------------------The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.--------------------------The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water."The sermon tonight: "Searching for Jesus."--------------------------Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to getrid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.--------------------------Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community.Smile at someone who is hard to love.Say "Hell" to someone who doesn't care much about you.--------------------------Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.--------------------------Miss Charlene Mason sang "I will not pass this way again,"giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.--------------------------For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.--------------------------Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They needall the help they can get.--------------------------Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.--------------------------A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the churchhall. Music will follow.--------------------------At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be"What Is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.--------------------------Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to theaddition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.--------------------------Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items tobe recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.--------------------------Please place your donation in the envelope along with thedeceased person you want remembered.-------- ------------------The church will host an evening of fine dining, superentertainment and gracious hostility.--------------------------Potluck supper Sunday at5:00 PM - prayer and medication tofollow.--------------------------The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of everykind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.--------------------------This evening at7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the parkacross from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.--------------------------Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM .All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. is done.--------------------------The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of thecongregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.--------------------------Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM .Please use the back door.--------------------------The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.--------------------------Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First PresbyterianChurch. Please use large double door at the side entrance.--------------------------The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithingcampaign slogan last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours."