THE WIZARDS OF ENG

Being a Brief History of the Land of Oz, as Recorded by Philgarlick the Scribe

Translated from the Original by H. J. Millard

I, Philgarlick the Scribe, a dweller in the tents of Oz, being full of years and like unto a snail with the rheumatism, do write these things, that they who run may read, and having read, take heed lest worse things befall them.

STAN, THE SERVANT OF THE WIZARDS

It came to pass in the days of Stan, a servant of the Wizards of Eng, that the people of Oz were bewitched by reason of figures written in books, so that they forsook the Lord their God and worshipped the figures written in the books of the Wizards.
And they beheld no longer the glory of the heavens, and the beauty of the earth was hidden from their sight, so that the souls of the people dwindled within them, and they strove among themselves who could swindle his brother, and counted it wisdom to score every man over his neighbour for the sake of the figures. For the spell was heavy upon them.

Now in those days was a judge set up over the common people to decide what they should receive in return for their labours. And the people of Oz received not sufficient money to buy the goods they produced, so that many starved and many became entangled in the snares of the servants of the Wizards, who were Dealers in Debt.
And when the Wizards saw that the people had no faith in the Lord their God, but only in the figures in books, they said in their hearts, "Behold, Satan has delivered them into our hands."
And they took counsel among themselves how they might subdue the people and take away their homes.

Then Monty the Magician, the chief of the Wizards of Eng, sent word unto Stan, his servant, saying, "Behold, there is too much money in the pockets of the people. Put down therefore the judge that presideth over the courts that the money may be taken from them."
But when the people heard this thing they waxed wrath and cast out Stan into outer darkness. And he straightway went and dwelt in the land of Eng with the Wizards his masters, and Scull reigned in his stead.

THE REIGN OF SCULL

Now it happened in the reign of Scull that the land was blessed with an exceeding great abundance, so that the flocks and herds increased mightily, and the earth brought forth fruit in such quantity that no man dare pray for more because of the abundance.
Nor could they store up the fruits of the earth, for each season brought forth enough and to spare, so that the rulers were sore perplexed and took counsel among themselves what they might do, for the common people went hungry and naked in the midst of plenty, and poverty stalked the land because of the spell.

And when the Wizards beheld the sorry plight of the people they sent a bailiff, named Otto, to take possession of the land, and when he was come, the rulers of Oz bowed themselves before him, saying: "Speak to us, oh sage!"
And Otto lifted up his voice and said: "Command the judges that they take away from the people one-tenth of the contents of their pay envelopes." And there was taken away one-tenth of his pay from every man, so that the plight of all the people was worse than before.
And there arose an economic blizzard, which smote the people, so that their homes and their farms and their lands were taken from them and became the property of the servants of the Wizards, who were Dealers in Debt. And many starved and were homeless.

And the people made a great moan and said: "Behold, we starve unto death, and our wives and children starve also. It must be the fault of Scull. We will throw him out." And they threw him out, and elected Jo to rule over them.

HONEST JO

Now, the name of Jo was famed through the lands as "Honest" Jo, because he had forsaken his own people to serve the Wizards of Eng that had cast a spell upon the people of Oz.
And the Wizards had confidence in him and wrote figures in their books, that the people might live. And all the people fell down and worshipped the figures in the books of the Wizards, declaring them greater than the fruits of the earth and greater than their own flesh and blood.
And, behold, the figures increased like rabbits in Gippsland, but the birth-rate of the people of Oz increased not at all, so that the servants of the Wizards said among themselves: "Lo, the slaves which we have bred to toil for us are perishing from off the face of the earth."

And they did moan exceedingly, for about this time came wars and rumours of wars, as nation strove against nation and men slew each other because of the spell. And the servants of the Wizards went unto Jo and said: "Behold, the peoples of the earth are at war. Take, therefore, all the young men from their homes and from their studies and teach them to kill their brethren, that they may go forth and kill whosoever we shall command."

But Jo pondered this request, whether it was of God or of Mammon. And he knew in his heart that the nations of the earth made war one against the other because of the buying and selling, and because of the figures in books. And he answered and said: "I will not do this wicked thing." And he did it not.

And, because he did it not, the name of Jo shall be numbered with the illustrious forgotten men who have fought against their sins. And the days of Jo were three score years when he was gathered to his fathers; and after many days his mantle fell upon the shoulders of Menz

THE MISSION OF MENZ

Now Menz was a man of talent, having brains and courage. And he perceived in his youth that there were many things that a man should know, and he dreamed dreams of service to humanity after the manner of youths the world over.
But, because the schools of Oz worshipped the figures in books, the only things they knew how to teach were how to play the game of life, according to the rules of the Wizards, and how to gain power, or pelf, or position; and how spiritual things may be discreetly and reverently adapted to material ends, that all the hopes and ambitions of youth might be guided into the service of the Wizards.
For they knew in their hearts that the power and high places were given unto the servants of the Wizards. And the reward of cleverness was called success.

So it came to pass that Menz was smitten with a great curse, so that, whatsoever the Wizards commanded, seemed right in his sight. And he was condemned to serve the Wizards all the days of his life, even though his country became as a mortgaged estate and his people as serfs under the yoke of the Dealers in Debt.
And there were given unto him honour, and power, and position. And, behold, the fruits, of office were as ashes in his mouth and he said in his heart: "What shall it profit a man if he gain the whole world?"
But he could not forsake the service of the Wizards, because of the curse which had been laid upon him in his youth.

And there came a war upon the land of Eng and upon the land of Os, by reason of the spell, which had been cast upon the nations. But the nations stayed their hands, for they feared the slaughter. And certain of the people said: "Let us take counsel together whether this thing may not be settled without further carnage."
But Menz harkened not to the voice of the people, but gave heed unto the Wizards his masters. And he lifted up his voice, saying: "This is but the beginning. More and greater sacrifices will be required of you."
Then entered he into all the pulpits of Koo and preached to the people, so that the word of the Lord was heard no longer throughout the city, but only the gospel according to Menz. And, because he spoke bravely and with fair words, and the memory of the people was short, they were deceived, and said: "Surely this war is due to Hit, or to Stal, or maybe to Muss, or even to the people of Timbuctoo."
And the Wizards of Eng sent word unto Menz day by day what he should do. And he did according to their commands.

THE AWAKENING OF OZ

Now there dwelt in the land of Oz certain people who had escaped from the spell of the Wizards, and who marvelled greatly that any could be deceived thereby.
For in those days the schools of Oz gave courses in Bilge and conferred degrees in Stupidity because of the spell. And they that took degrees were hired by the servants of the Wizards of Eng to deceive the people and to confuse their minds, that they might not seek the real reason why they were deprived of the abundant wealth, which God had given them, but might continue under the yoke of the Wizards forever.

And the people spake together concerning the figures in the books and concerning the spell that had been laid upon them. And their eyes were opened, that they might perceive the iniquity of their rulers.
And when the students of Bilge saw that they could no longer deceive the people, they were afraid and began to proclaim such of the truths that could no longer be hid. And, behold they ran breathlessly after the people and caught hold of their skirts to restrain them.
But the people paid no heed; and said, "If ye knew these things, why did you not tell us before? Have we not slaved under the yoke of the Wizards these many years, until our eyes are dim and our backs bent, and we were like to become as brute beasts, fit only to mind the machines and to toil in the counting houses of the Dealers in Debt?"

For the Wizards had sought to kill the spirit of God that dwells in the souls of men, that they might become as trained beasts, fit only to breed and to toil. And when they were free of the spell the people saw that their lot was just as hard whether they were governed by Stan by Scull, by Jo, or by Menz, for all the political parties of the land were controlled by the servants of the Wizards of Eng.

So they wrote every man to his representative in the councils of the land, saying:
"Too long have we laboured for the Dealers in Debt, who are also dealers in misery and in death, and we are determined to throw off the yoke of the evil ones. Therefore, shall you renounce all parties and factions, rendering account to no man, but to the electors." And they that paid no heed were cast into outer darkness.
And the vested interests, which made vast contributions to party funds that the Wizards might be served instead of the people, were sorely vexed, for no representative would take their money, fearing the wrath of the electors.

Then the representatives of the people stood erect in the councils and spoke fearlessly those things, which the people commanded. And peace came upon the land of Eng, because of the wisdom of the people of Oz.
And they called together the wise men of the land, who summoned Dr. Ro, the Keeper of the Records of Oz, that he might tell them of the wealth of the nation, of all the primary and secondary products, of the value added in process of manufacture, and of all the beasts of the field, according to the records.

And, behold, there was enough and to spare for all the inhabitants of the land; and claims were given unto all men, that they might buy goods from all who wished to sell.
Now, as the Lord caused the sun to shine upon the just and upon the unjust, so were the claims given to the rich and to the poor, to the clever and to the foolish, to the righteous and to the unrighteous, to every man, because he was the child of the most high God.
And the servants of the Wizards uttered a great moan and prophesied woe unto the people of Oz, because they had thrown off the yoke of the Dealers in Debt.

But when all the inhabitants of Oz were fed and clothed, it was found that there was an abundance of wool and wheat and butter and eggs and of all the foodstuffs meet for the well being of mankind. So the people of Oz took the surplus wool and sent it to Eng, where millions of children were cold and ill clad, and they gathered together the surplus foodstuffs and sent it all to the ends of the earth, wheresoever the peoples desired.

But to no land was anything sent that was not desired by the inhabitants thereof. And because the representatives no longer served the Wizards, all social evils were gradually abolished, according to the vision of the people.
And the vision of the people was increased an hundredfold, because they served the Lord, their God, and worshipped no longer the figures in the books of the Wizards.
And, behold, brother no longer strove against brother, nor was the doctrine of Menz preached from the pulpits any longer, but only the Gospel of the Man of Galilee.
Then was the name of Oz blessed among the nations, and the people were joyful, and said: "Come, let us go up to the mountain of the Lord, and He will teach us his ways, and we will walk in His paths."

And the priests of the Lord read aloud to the people the words of Micah, the Prophet, saying:
"They shall beat their swords into ploughshares, and their spears into pruning-hooks; nation shall not rise upon against nation, neither shall they learn war any more. But they shall sit every man under his vine and under his fig-tree; and none shall make them afraid: for the mouth of the Lord of Hosts hath spoken it." And all the people did answer and say, "Amen."