Title: Sexual Abuse Cover Up | |
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BekC | |
Date Posted:08/09/2014 11:17 AMCopy HTML I don't know what to do anymore.... I have told and retold my story that many times but it feels like nothing can be done. I'll start from the beginning. I don't believe in keeping secrets, it gives the wrong people power. I will use real names of everyone involved as I am not lying and you can look at court records etc to check facts.
I was brought up in the Revival Centres International in Brisbane. The head pastor is Darcy Ryan and he has a few other pastors under him, key players in this are Pr Darcy Ryan, Pr Martin Murray and Pr Peter Barnes. I have a sister Tali, who is 14 maths younger than me and two younger brothers. My parents had been involved in the RCI since their early 20s. My earliest recollection of my father coming into my bedroom every night started around the age of 6. My father was heavily involved in youth group, bible studies and eventually became a ranger leader, which of course exposed him to all the children in the RCI. When I was 14, I finally told my mum what my father had been doing to me..... I was so scared she wouldn't believe me that I had packed a suitcase and was ready to run away and live on the streets with a girlfriend. As I sat sobbing and saying that I knew she didn't believe me, mum patted my arm and got upset and said yes, she did believe me.... Because my father had confessed to molesting me and my sister 18months PRIOR to me saying anything! Mum then explained to me that Rod (my dad), had felt guilty and confessed to Pr Martin some 18 months previously and that was the real reason he had been put out of fellowship. Mum rang Pr Darcy and took me round to his place where Pr Darcy explained to me the importance of telling the truth and not exaggerating etc. He asked me to repeat my whole story, which I did and then Mum rang Rod and told him he wasn't welcome back in the house. Eventually Rod spent 15mths in prison.... (Not bad for 8 years of sexually abusing two little girls). I have a bit of memory about what happened when Rod was kicked out. I remember the night he confessed to Pr Martin. Mum was crying and I remember Pr Martin following Rod outside and saying to him, 'I'm sorry but this is permanent, you won't be able to come back'. I also remember a particular Sunday after Rod was kicked out, and Pr Peter Barnes sat me and my sister down to ask us about 'good and bad touches'..... Mum told me 18mths that apparently the Pastors were trying to ascertain whether my sister and I had understood what Rod had done to us..... They NEVER told us that Rod had confessed.... They kept asking about good and bad touches.... I remember it made me so uncomfortable and embarrassed that I swore black and blue that no one had ever touched me. Mum said that Pr Peter assumed that I didn't understand about the abuse so they decided to pretend it never happened and hoped me and my sister would forget about it...... Because Rod had promised he would never touch me or Tali again and the pastors thought me and Tali didn't understand (please keep in mind we were 12 and 11.... I still don't know how the pastors figured that me and my sister wouldn't understand that our Daddy having sex with us was wrong!) they all decided to a) not tell the police b) send the predator home with his victims and c) not tell the victims that the adults know and will protect them now. Before everything came out about Rod, I used to have friends in the church stay over..... One girl was 14.... I don't remember Rod touching her but every Sunday when we would get ready for church, he would watch her take a bath..... She hated it and would ask him to leave, he always refused. My other friend was about 7 when her parents left her at our house for a week while they went to Melbourne convention. Rod used to take us morning swimming at south bank. I came downstairs and caught rod with my 7 yr old friend on his lap. He had her wetsuit open and was lightly tickling her back, the one thing he always did before the abuse started. I never saw him do anything to these two girls but the intent was there and I most certainly let the oversight know when I told them about wat he was doing to me. They NEVER told the girls's parents what I saw, and they never spoke to the girls in question to find out if he did do anything to them. Four years later Pr Darcy threw me out of the church because he said I was too rebellious and angry.... And you know what that was in response too? To me asking why they sent me home with a self confessed peadophile!? To this day none of them have ever apologised for sending me home to be abused for 18mths longer than necessary...... What I went through was bad enough but they could have stopped it! My sister is still in the church and utterly brainwashed and coz I've been kicking up such a stink lately, she went and spoke to the oversight and was told that apparently 15yrs ago when this all happened, there was no legal requirement forcing them to tell the authorities if a child was being abused. I even called the Royal Commission that is looking into the Catholic Church and the sexual abuse.... But coz my abuse was incest and not done by a church elder unrelated to me, the Royal Commission can't investigate my case. I have written to ACA, Today Tonight, That's Life, heaps of media outlets..... The RCI sent home two child sexual abuse victims with their predator, they did absolutely nothing to protect me or my sister! Now I find out there has since been a second peadophile discovered in the RCI and they did the same thing.... Kicked him out and covered it up. I spoke to the mother about it and she said her son refuses to speak about it. He's incredibly depressed and withdrawn but will not discuss it. The whole family and the perpetrator have left the RCI, but that hasn't solved the problem. The second peadophile was discovered just over 5years ago, I don't know if the legal requirements were set then, but the oversight threw this guy out and told no one of what he did to the other boy...... This peadophile picked my brother up as he was walking home from work, he got in his car coz he was a guy from the church.... Someone you can trust yea? He drove my brother to a secluded area and tried to force him to do shit to him. Lucky my little brother was a strong 15yr old coz he managed to fight him off and run away. The whole situation is so wrong. That church doesn't know how to help victims. All they care about is covering it up and trying to make sure they always look good. Someone needs to answer for all of this and I just don't know who to talk to anymore..... |
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Biblianut | Share to: #1 |
Re:Sexual Abuse Cover Up Date Posted:09/09/2014 4:00 AMCopy HTML Hi Rebekah,
All churches have their pedophiles and sex offenders, but unlike the Catholic and orthodox churches today, the Revival Centres will not address this in a proper and judicial manner. Revivalists believe that they 'cannot sin' and it has to be a "perfect church". When faced with these situations, they throw out the "rubbish" and leave their victims with no support, comfort, nor even hope at times. Church is about hope, love and understanding so that those who have been wronged and/or perhaps gone astray, find a tender loving guide back to restoration and forgiveness. What has happened to you, your family and friends is nothing short of a tragedy and so many similar stories and situation come out about the Revival Centres. I find it surprising the 'Royal Commission' came back with that excuse in your case, as I thought it was for all sexual abuse investigations. Yes the situation is so wrong, and there is really nothing we can do about it. Many have tried, through 'normal' means to have these people brought to task, to no avail. Revival Centres is NOT a Christian church and one will find no solace or justice from these ignorant people. I would suggest, for your own welfare, is to leave things go where Revival Centres are concerned and let the 'God of Justice' deal with these tyrants, at the day of judgment. Apart from seeking out a good Christian Church (I personally identify as 'Anglican' now), there are organizations such as Beyond Blue, Lifeline, etc., can offer the very help you are looking for. Grace and peace only through our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ. Ralph. I believe in Christianity as I believe the sun has risen; not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else. C.S.Lewis.
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Didaktikon | Share to: #2 |
Re:Sexual Abuse Cover Up Date Posted:09/09/2014 9:31 AMCopy HTML Rebekah,
'Biblianut' means well; however, the following piece of advice is not only misguided, but out-and-out wrong: "I would suggest, for your own welfare, is to leave things go where Revival Centres are concerned and let the 'God of Justice' deal with these tyrants, at the day of judgment." The Final Judgement doesn't negate the need for justice in the here-and-now. Report the matter to the police. Go to the press. Hold Darcy, Martin and Peter personally accountable for failing to exercise their duties of care and pastoral responsibilities towards you, your sister and your brother. God bless, Ian email: didaktikon@gmail.com
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Biblianut | Share to: #3 |
Re:Sexual Abuse Cover Up Date Posted:09/09/2014 10:26 AMCopy HTML Huh! well Ian, my comment may not be according to your reasoning, but look at the facts, this person has done everything possible to obtain the justice she has a right to, even having gone to the police, media and so forth and still hasn't peace in the matter.
You must live in a fairy land if you think the police would do anything after the event has already been dealt with. BekC doesn't know who to talk to anymore..... Grace and Peace Ralph. I believe in Christianity as I believe the sun has risen; not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else. C.S.Lewis.
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Biblianut | Share to: #4 |
Re:Sexual Abuse Cover Up Date Posted:11/09/2014 2:38 AMCopy HTML Rebekah
Well there you have opinions from two of us, howbeit somewhat different. I have deleted my last post, maybe for a discussion on a different thread if Ian feels up to it to expand on that scriptural matter? My advise, however you want to take it, was based on the fact that you have already made efforts by calling the Royal Commission that is looking into the Catholic Church and the sexual abuse.... written to ACA, Today Tonight, That's Life, heaps of media outlets.....etc., you have been totally dismissed on all fronts. Your efforts have not changed the situation nor made it any better so don't let it control your life any longer. Those people will get their just deserts someday. Whatever decision you make, I pray God has his hand upon you in what you do. Ralph. I believe in Christianity as I believe the sun has risen; not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else. C.S.Lewis.
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BekC | Share to: #5 |
Re:Sexual Abuse Cover Up Date Posted:14/10/2014 10:40 AMCopy HTML So apparently my threats of going to the police and press etc was enough to get a response from the pastors in question..... At first they seemed concerned that I felt this way and they wanted to 'help me' work through it all etc etc..... So I sent Pr Martin an email explaining my side of things, and explaining how betrayed and let down I felt. When he replied, all he did was acknowledge 'the pain I must still be feeling' and didn't bother to answer a single question I put to him about duty of care. When I replied and pointed out that he had ignored every single question I put to him, he replied denying that my father had confessed to them and that they were aware of the abuse for the 18months.......
I was so upset I went to my Mum, and I said how can they say this? Everyone knows they knew.... Why are they denying this? She wouldn't answer me.... So then I said to her, you know they knew don't you? And she said 'I dunno, I can't remember' Can you believe that?! 15 years my mother has never really talked about what happened but when us kids have talked to her she was always very clear on the pastors knowing...... I still remember clear as anything the day I told her what my dad did..... I was 14 and I had a bag packed and hidden in my bedroom coz I was gonna go live on the streets with my best friend. Funnily enough... This best friend of mine, had been in the RCI too, and when she told the pastors about her cousin raping her, they didn't believe her and threw her out of fellowship. That's how she ended up on the streets, and I knew she would look after me, so I packed my bags and told my mum and was fully prepared to not be believed..... But mums answer to me when I told her was 'Shhh, it's ok, I believe you..... I'm so sorry he told us he had stopped' then she went and rang pr Darcy and told him that it was still happening and I remember all this coz Natalie Imbruglia's Torn was on the radio and I can still remember it playing as we pulled up to pr Darcys and I was crying and I've always hated that song since coz it reminds me of the way I was questioned and how pr Darcy asked me if I knew the difference between telling the truth and exaggerating...... Even back then they didn't want to believe me. Now mum is denying all of it! I can't even look at her anymore..... I used to be able to talk to her.... I really thought I had forgiven her coz she acknowledged how wrong she had been and I truly believed she felt remorse..... But now I'm asking the RCI to accept their responsibility she is now denying all of it..... I'm meant to be living with her while I buy a new house but I can't bare to be near her. I flinch when she touches me, I can't look at her in the eye and I can't hold a conversation with her at all.... I just want to get as far away from her as possible |
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Didaktikon | Share to: #6 |
Re:Sexual Abuse Cover Up Date Posted:21/10/2014 8:23 AMCopy HTML Hi, Bec.
Perhaps you should let Martin, Darcy and Peter (given they don't meet the NT qualifications, you should probably cease thinking of them as pastors) know you're considering reporting them to the Royal Commission into Institutional Responses to Child Sexual Abuse. Based on what you shared, they were advised that you were being abused yet they failed to exercise their obligatory duty of care in reporting the matter to the appropriate authorities. Consequently, you suffered unnecessarily, and the abuse you experienced continued unabated; again, unnecessarily. Given the circumstances outlined in your two posts, were I standing in your shoes, I'd report them. I'm confident the Commissioners would be very interested to learn of the apparent disinterest shown by these three men to your welfare, seemingly preferring instead to safeguard the reputation of their 'church'. www.childabuseroyalcommission.gov.au Blessings, Ian email: didaktikon@gmail.com
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Justice1 | Share to: #7 |
Re:Sexual Abuse Cover Up Date Posted:29/11/2014 5:09 PMCopy HTML i am so sorry sweetheart ....and well done for informing the Police. There is a massive duty of care that RCI has been void of
I was raped 30 years ago and it took me 20 years to get over it .... As I had no closure and did not report it. It also left the perpetrator free to continue to rape other woman ( as a teenager .... I didn't realise this until years and years later) We were in RCI for years and the stories I heard from Melbourne through my kids and from senior members makes me shudder. One included a rape coverup and for all their fornication and moral banter .... Remembering that this rule was not retrospective .... So many in the church point the finger but don't take into account their own prior actions ( this includes very senior pastors who ' had to get married' due to Impropriety and who now tell fornicators that they should never step in another church again .... So they don't contaminate any other church.) RCI has had a lot of bad press in the last few years ( Glenn Duker etc). - they won't admit to their duplicity / actions as they don't want more negative press! |
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BekC | Share to: #8 |
Re:Sexual Abuse Cover Up Date Posted:01/01/2015 6:04 AMCopy HTML Thank you all for your kind words of support. I must say, I am still incredibly frustrated at the Revival Centres' lack of accountability. When my aunt (who was not in the church I may add) found out about my father's abuse, she told my mother to get down to the police station and report it immediately! And if she didn't, well then my aunt was going to take matters into her own hands and report it herself! The so called pastors of that so called church, claim that they were bound by the laws of the time blah blah blah..... My aunt was bound by the same laws and unfortunately there was no law saying they must report instances of abuse, but in saying that, there was no law saying to keep it quiet and it was none of their business. The whole thing is a joke!
My aunt, who took action the second she was made aware of the abuse, has felt terrible that she didn't pick up on the signs earlier and has a whole lot of other regrets, NONE of which she should feel guilty for. The second I told her what my father did, my aunt demanded I put my mother on the phone and that's when she made her own threats and damn well made sure us kids were safe. Those so called leaders couldn't run for cover fast enough! When my dad confessed, they kicked him out so he couldn't do anymore damage to any of their precious flock..... But none.... Not one cared enough to ensure our abuse didn't continue. They relied on the promise of a peadophile that he wouldn't offend again. It makes me sick. I still feel like no one will listen to me.... Mum will only nod her head sadly, when I demand an answer about whether she believes the pastors were wrong..... I will still keep calling whoever I can to try and bring these people to account. I just wish they felt some kind of remorse..... What is wrong with these men that they don't care that they allowed a peadophile the opportunity to keep offending? I don't care how sorry they are that I was molested..... Everyone is always so sorry about the abuse.... Yes, I get they feel sorry I had to go through it.... But these men actively turned a blind eye to it! They knew it was happening!why aren't they sorry about that? Why can't they say 'yes, you're right. We should have gone to the police.... And for that, we are really sorry.... We have learnt from our mistakes, and there's nothing we can do to change the past, but given our time over we would have made sure you were safe' The fact they can't say that, makes me think they don't care. It really honestly makes me think they don't think they did anything wrong and they are just wishing I would shut up and go away. I understand Ralph's point about letting it go and not letting it rule my life.... But I just want them to admit they could have and should have done more. I want them to feel sorry for not checking. I know you can't make someone feel bad for their actions, but it upsets me to no end that they don't think there was anything wrong with the actions they took..... They covered up a child molester's secret.... They sent the peadophile home WITH his victims...... No one ever asked me in the following months if my father had used me as his sexual plaything..... NOTHING! They just stuck their heads in the sand and hoped 'God' made it all go away. |
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BekC | Share to: #9 |
Re:Sexual Abuse Cover Up Date Posted:10/01/2015 11:11 AMCopy HTML Well I must say, I am really impressed with the response I have received from Pr Geoff Beggs. The man lives down South and has never been a pastor in my area. He has listened to everything I have had to say and has promised me he is going to do everything he can to get to the bottom of it. It's about time my story was taken seriously. The whole time I have been going on and on and on about it all, the only response I've gotten from the Brisbane 'oversight' is too deny it and shove their heads in the sand. But Pastor Geoff has taken the time to talk to me and ask me my side and to actually acknowledge how I have been let down. I really never expected anything like it from any of them.... And I'm finally getting it from someone who wasn't even involved in the sordid history of it all... I am so happy there are still people in that place who want to do the right thing, no matter how scary it all is.
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Biblianut | Share to: #10 |
Re:Sexual Abuse Cover Up Date Posted:11/01/2015 11:53 AMCopy HTML BekC Accolades to Pr Geoff Beggs for responding to you and offering to try and do something. Pray he has the 'intestinal fortitude' to go ahead with it so that the situation may be resolved and you find your peace in the matter and go on with life. Grace and peace Ralph I believe in Christianity as I believe the sun has risen; not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else. C.S.Lewis.
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Lunasparkle | Share to: #11 |
Re:Sexual Abuse Cover Up Date Posted:11/01/2015 1:45 PMCopy HTML Be strong.... thats all you can do i hope you find peace unlike all who have wronged you they will rot.....
Religion is the most disgusting thing only after the people who to conform to it... Just another example of the devil within these maggot filled churches please die |
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Didaktikon | Share to: #12 |
Re:Sexual Abuse Cover Up Date Posted:15/01/2015 7:26 AMCopy HTML Hi, Bec
My experience of Geoff is he's probably the nicest (and likely the most intelligent) 'pastor' in the entire RCI. I hope he'll do as you've reported, although I remain unconvinced that he'll be able to change much with the Brisbane P3. Still, at the very least he appears to be open to hearing your views (I'd be more charitable in my opinion had he not "buried his head in the sand" regarding the 'Great Revival Ponzi Scheme' of some years back). As an aside, did you contact Geoff? Or did Geoff contact you? God bless, Ian email: didaktikon@gmail.com
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BekC | Share to: #13 |
Re:Sexual Abuse Cover Up Date Posted:15/01/2015 9:18 PMCopy HTML Initially when I had started speaking out about what the Brisbane oversight did (or didn't do as the case is), I had emailed the RCI website. My email was passed on to the Brisbane oversight and when I received an email from Pr Martin with all their excuses, I re emailed the website and gave whoever it was a serve about why they would send the Pastors who were the ones who did the wrong thing in the first place, to sort it out.... (I hope that sentence made sense). Anyway, as it turned out, PrGeoff was the one who runs the website and he emailed me back to apologise and agreed that yes it was a conflict of interest to ask the Brisbane pastors to look into it when it was their wrong doing that should be investigated.... Well that's what I got out of my emails between him and myself. PrGeoff does seem to be quite intelligent and is a very empathetic man.... Makes me wish I had been brought up in his assembly as opposed to Brisbane. But anyway, that's in the past now and Pr Geoff has promised to get back to me by mid March. There is a Pastors conference in March that he says he is going to bring this up at and he feels it would be better to discuss it with the people in question, face to face rather than over the phone or email. I agree with this. I think they should give their explanation face to face!
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BekC | Share to: #14 |
Re:Sexual Abuse Cover Up Date Posted:16/05/2015 12:18 PMCopy HTML I was such a fool to think anything would come of me speaking up. Pr Martin and Pr Darcy REFUSE to acknowledge any wrong doing! They now claim they had no idea my father was a peadophile until I brought it up...... When I said, ok, why did you put him out of fellowship then? They refused to even respond to my email. My dad confessed to molesting me and my sister.... That's why they put him out of fellowship!!! What is wrong with these people!? Aaaaaarrrrrrgggggghhh!!! I want answers! I want them to say sorry. I want them to admit they were wrong and that they are sorry they didn't try to help me. Why can't they just say that? Is it that they aren't sorry? I just don't understand. They protected their own children and the other children in the church.... But in doing so, they sacrificed me and my sister...... What was so wrong with us that they could justify sacrificing two little girls like that.
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Swanky | Share to: #15 |
Re:Sexual Abuse Cover Up Date Posted:08/08/2015 7:37 PMCopy HTML I'm so sorry to hear about your experiences BekC. The BS which you've had to go through aftwerwards with the oversight just adds insult to injury. It's a disgrace. Unfortunately you're not alone. Many people from Brisbane RCI were forced to suffer through similar misfortunes due to the Pastors' machinations. Dysfunction, abuse and misery always came second to maintaining appearences of righteousness and propriety.
Even with the Pastors' attempts at compartmentalisation, we all heard the stories. I'm sure many of us remember a certain couple from the 90s who were forced to marry after the most minor dalliance, only to have the poor wife suffer horrific domestic violence at the hands of her husband/owner. But instead of offering her a safe place to go where she won't be bashed and reporting him to the police, the oversight attempt to "counsel" them. Despite being completely unqualified to offer said counselling and ultimately sending her home to have her face punched in because of a pairing they forced in the first place. And then there's the house leader turned pastor who's nutso wife used to beat her children horrifically and spend her days ripping out her own hair at the roots. Even when her children are coming to assembly covered in bruises with broken limbs, no one's saying anything. Let alone doing anything. Everyone just listens to her story of how the Lord gave her superhuman strength to lift the swing set off her son and ignore the fact that she actually broke his arm herself in another blackout rage. God forbid we actually talk about it and do something to save the children! No no! Don't ever discuss matters amongst yourselves. That's gossip and its divisive for the fellowship. Always take it to your pastor so that it can be dealt with in an efficient and just manner like it was with BekC! My personal story is somewhat similar to yours. A sexual predator, abuser and all round monster pushed into our home by the oversight for no other reason than that of appearances. I don't desire to dredge up old demons myself, but needless to say that you are not alone. This sort of thing was rife at Brisbane RCI. And I'll answer your question for you; the reason they won't admit their wrongdoing and offer you an apology, despite the healing that this would hold for you, is two fold; Firstly, it is because they are scared of legal ramifications. If they admit culpability then they are opening themselves up to the possibility of civil litigation. I'm not saying that such a case would be successful, I'm not a lawyer, but that's what they fear. That being said I strongly disagree with the previous poster, if you need to fight this to regain your dignity and heal yourself, then you fight it. Hoping for a magical balancing of the books is what got us into this situation in the first place. These people should pay for what they did and if you aren't comfortable moving on then you fight! You're the one who gets to say when it's enough. No one else. Secondly is that these men are indoctrinated in their own lies going back decades. It's second nature to them now. They can't just turn around and be honest now. They lie, it's how they've dealt with all their problems for decades. It's their default mode. If it's damaging, lie. If it's embarrassing, lie. For the sake of it, lie. These aren't good people we're talking about here. |
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Zamoz | Share to: #16 |
Re:Sexual Abuse Cover Up Date Posted:05/01/2016 2:59 PMCopy HTML
Take it to the police and Sue the Brisbane centre, they are CASHED UP from the sale of the Church, Darcy sitting on a nice nest egg for his future
Godspeed Apprentice Spirit searcher
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BekC | Share to: #17 |
Re:Sexual Abuse Cover Up Date Posted:18/02/2016 11:19 AMCopy HTML Well, I was talking to my therapist about being upset that the royal commission wouldn't look into my claim against the Revival Centre Brisbane when I happened to mention that my dad had been a Ranger leader. That's when she said that that was a position of authority in the church and to get back to the Royal Commission to let them know. After I rang them and went through it all, they have decided to go ahead and investigate the conduct of the pastors. Also considering there were two other girls that my father had been inappropriate with (just not to the extent he was with me), and the pastors never told the parents even though I had made them very aware of what he had done. I hope now Pastor Darcy and the rest of them will acknowledge how they let me down and just apologise. That is what I want more than anything. I am so sick of seeing their judgement when they sneer at me if we ever attend a family wedding or something together. They let me down. They could have stopped the abuse and made me safe but their precious reputation was far more important. Finally I hope they will be made to acknowledge their mistakes and the damage they caused
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Biblianut | Share to: #18 |
Re:Sexual Abuse Cover Up Date Posted:27/02/2016 10:19 AMCopy HTML Hi BekC,
Good to see some progress is being made. Hope things continue and justice is served for you and others. Not unlike Muslims (I mention this as I am learning about Islam at moment), the Revivalists take on a 'self righteous' image, thinking they are better than anybody else, because they believe they have favour with God and are untouchable. I was once the same but made humble now. God bless Ralph. I believe in Christianity as I believe the sun has risen; not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else. C.S.Lewis.
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Khouji123 | Share to: #19 |
Re:Sexual Abuse Cover Up Date Posted:14/03/2019 9:09 AMCopy HTML There are many church members are into sexual fantasy. They cannot control it even they bowed into celibacy.
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