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| Title: Retirement Dinner | |
| Revival_Centres_Discussion_Forums > The Back Room - Come in for SUPPER > The Funny Pages - Jokes, Games, Weirdities, and oddities | Go to subcategory： |
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dogmafree
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Date Posted：01/02/2009 6:46 AMCopy HTML Retirement Dinner
A Priest was being honored at his retirement dinner after 25 years in the parish. A leading local politician and member of the congregation was chosen to make the presentation and to give a little speech at the dinner. However, he was delayed, so the Priest decided to say his own few words while they waited: 'I got my first impression of the parish from the first confession I heard here. I thought I had been assigned to a terrible place. The very first person who entered my confessional told me he had stolen a television set and, when questioned by the police, was able to lie his way out of it. He had stolen money from his parents, embezzled from his employer, had an affair with his boss's wife, taken illegal drugs, and gave VD to his sister. I was appalled. But as the days went on I learned that my people were not all like that and I had, indeed, come to a fine parish full of good and loving people.'... Just as the Priest finished his talk, the politician arrived full of apologies at being late. He immediately began to make the presentation and gave his talk: 'I'll never forget the first day our parish Priest arrived,' said the politician. 'In fact, I had the honour of being the first person to go to him for confession.' ---------------------------------- The
pastor asked if anyone in the congregation would like to express
praise for answered prayers. A lady stood and walked to the podium. She
said, "I have a praise. Two months ago, my husband Tom had a terrible
bicycle wreck, and his scrotum was completely crushed. The pain was
excruciating and the doctors didn't know if they could help him."
"Tom
was unable to hold me or the children," she went on, "and every move
caused him terrible pain. We prayed as the doctors performed a delicate
operation, and it turned out they were able to piece together the
crushed remnants of Tom's scrotum and wrap wire around it to hold it in
place." Again the men in the
congregation were unnerved and squirmed uncomfortably as they imagined
the horrible surgery performed on Tom. "Now,"
she announced in a quavering voice, "thank the Lord Tom is out of the
hospital, and the doctors say that with time his scrotum should recover
completely." All
the men sighed with relief. The pastor rose and tentatively asked if
anyone else had something to say. A
man stood up and walked slowly to the podium. He
said "I'm Tom." The entire congregation held its breath. "for there is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so" Shakespeare (Hamlet, Act 2, Scene 2)
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BlackSabbath
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#1
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Re：Retirement Dinner Date Posted：29/06/2010 4:04 AMCopy HTML Oh, not fair that nobody replied to this joke. I found it hilarious!! Nice one.....  |
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prezy
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Share to:
#2
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Re：Retirement Dinner Date Posted：29/06/2010 4:54 AMCopy HTML Reply to BlackSabbath Oh, not fair that nobody replied to this joke. I found it hilarious!! Nice one..... I thought it was a true story.lol they were pretty funny I reckon.
¡uıɐƃɐ ʎɐqǝ ɯoɹɟ pɹɐoqʎǝʞ ɐ ƃuıʎnq ɹǝʌǝu
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