$%*'`[Dogmafree]%*'`@Reply to : luderitzguy

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Hi DogI was in the Morley assembly. And you?

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Morley too. I still have family members that are attending there.

Zareena, fair enough for you to jump in as you have. It shows me how inadequately I have chosen my words to try to sum up the breadth of my feelings and experiences! A few words just don't hardly begin!

I may have come across as arrogant, and I can be a bit that way, so I'll take that.

I am sorry if I sounded insensitive to anyone, (when yawning) as I am far from unsympathetic to their plight, and that was certainly not my intention. It's just that I am happy to have been relatively free from the rhetoric over scripture and the typical jargon that pervaded life in the RDI/RF for all those years. The constant nit-picking over what was/is the right or wrong thing according to peoples' understanding of the scriptures had become overwhelmingly tiresome. So, to again immerse myself in this rhetoric brings up old feelings, and I found myself skimming over many posts.

Since leaving the RF several years ago, it has not been my desire to hang out with other ex members, and bad-mouth the group. This would only be negative and I preferred to 'move on'. I have picked up the tatters of the person I am, and tried to make sense of it all. To learn more about the emerging me (ego and all) and what I want my life to be. To wade through the loneliness of being 'on the outside' and discover interests and a social life that didn't revolve around the RF people. To some degree, I have managed this, and kept my family from disintegrating as a pastor predicted would happen if I left.

I tend to have a bit of a 'sour taste' when it comes to religion and Christianity generally, but have a great sense of connectedness with all of creation. An awe for the spectacle of everything around me, and the 'resonance' that I believe is God in every cell of it. I have rejected the notions of 'us & them' and 'good & bad' as unhelpful distractions from the perception of a wonderful universe. I accept the darker side of myself and others as part of the whole, without the judgement or condemnation that many apply to these areas of life.

Because of my families continued involvement with the RF, I still see a number of members quite regularly. There are some beautiful people there, and several that I still consider true and loyal friends. These are the exception, and tend to exhibit the 'spirit' of Christ, and be more awake and real than most there. It does seem that there is a far greater freedom in the assembly these days, for people to think for themselves and adopt a more balanced outlook. There really are those that I can enjoy a conversation with, and have enough mutual respect to not try to change each other's views, and I find this very satisfying.

Of course, there are still the automatons.... the ones that see me, and feel compelled to act in a way that makes the division most obvious, as subtle as their behaviour is. Like last week, I saw a member. This guy has always had a stick up his bum, and acts so predictably, that its like his every breathe is following a script. Anyway, I saw him and greeted him (I believe) in a normal and genuine manner, and asked how his family is. His response was immediate and succinct.... "Great mate! Everything is just fantastic" or words to that affect, in a bright manner as he kept on walking. Of course what he was actually saying was, "I am STILL in fellowship (where you SHOULD BE) and if you were, you could be as radiantly and blissfully happy as me. That is ALL I have to say to you, back-slider"

It is such a shame. He is a really nice guy, and has no idea how contrived and rude (yet transparent) he was, and how well he cemented my resolve to never again return to the RF way. I feel very sad for these people, but don't take their insults personally. 'They know not what they do' (if I can borrow the phrase)!

Happy to be............ Dogmafree.

As valuable as this forum is, I feel there as a GREAT LACK of a certain kind of information...
Information about TOOLS that folk have found instrumental in helping them through the delicate transition from cult devotee to adjusted and balanced individual living their life.

May I invite folk to talk about the catalysts that have helped them see through what they have been caught up in, and especially what things have helped them 'come out', find their feet and reconstruct their lives outside????

I believe these things are vitally important. If we can identify some of these things, it would become a much more valuable resource for the very people the forum is here for. Of course we are all individuals and we each have a different way of finding our way forward, but I'm sure it would give many a helping hand to share.

When severed from these cults (especially after many years of involvement) it is incredibly bewildering. Who am I? What do I now believe? Who can I trust? What now to do?.... a million questions! The loneliness of being separated from your entire social network is often a massive hurdle to overcome. So, what were your experiences? How did you cope and move forward? What things provided a foot-hold for you to climb out of this hole?

If I can offer a little of my own experience, I found it necessary to turn inward to some extent... to find my own core and the strength that exists there. The centre of my being where (despite of all the external definitions) I believe our God dwells in the purest form. Being still, and silent and meditating to help arrive home to yourself, (after being under subjection to others' for so long). Personally I found a workshop I did called 'Turning Point' a major breakthrough.

I could go on and on waffling about my transition, but I'll leave that for now. I'd really like to hear of everyone elses experiences. Just to put up a few possibilities, has anyone found any of the following helpful?.....

Books or studying other philosophies on life etc.

Councelling/psychology. (Quantum psychology)

People/friends/family supporting and helping you.

Life courses, workshops, somatic body-work, kineasiology, hypnotherapy, core energetics, etc.

Alternative belief systems or religions (dare I mention)?

Professional help (doctors, etc).

Just getting out, going on holidays, experiencing life and people outside.

Simply sharing and talking about it (this forum).

Anything at all? There really are endless possibilities!

I look forward to your input.
the Dog.