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MothandRust
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1#
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Rank:Ghost in the machine
Score:34610
Posts:1585
Registered:27/02/2004
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(Date Posted:14/10/2004 13:49:47)
I doubt I will ever stop checking in on this site anytime soon... I'm a creature of habit and I have a short list of websites I routinely check everyday. I dunno whether that's healthy or not but it works for me for now. I'm unemployed at the moment and am feeling like a bit of a drongo. (edit 2005 - am working now - full time teacher primary school)
When I left the Rev heads earlier this year it was like taking the blue pill (ala The Matrix) and sometimes I pine for the tight network of contacts I used to have. I am finding it vey hard to forget the close friends I had but then they make it easier by their attitudes to us. I recently bumped into the person who brought me along all those years ago and she had this to say (pretty funny actually); she looked at me very seriously, to my eyes, and said (in a way that only close friends would) "You stupid, stupid man... come back to fellowship... the Lord's returning soon and there's no time to waste" - pretty sad actually. I dunno if the Lord is returning one day, and I'm certainly not going to set my watch to the possibility.
Just recently, during a healing service at my new church (2006 edit - I don't go to churches anymore) where people were 'slaying' at the prayer line, I got into a semi-argument about the validity of the practice. DONT SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF huh... BUT I was almost wishing that I remained in the familiarity of my old cult. Back there I didn't have to practice using my emotions, I could just sit and stare like a zombie. there I was an expert... there, someone told me what to believe... there I had a place... there I was the big man on campus. There I had much supper. Would I ever go back though... not on your Nelly! As Mel Braveheart once said "If you haven't got your freedom, it's all for nothing"... or something close to that.
I missed out on a good employment opportunity recently because of some bridges I burnt when leaving the Rev Heads... I shouldn't have made such a big noise when I left, but I was so passionate about declaring my disdain for all things Revival that I threw out some wisdom... thems the brakes hey?
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Be nice, for everyone that you meet is fighting a harder battle - Anita Roddick
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Anonymous
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2#
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Registered:06/04/2001
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(Date Posted:21/03/2006 09:52:08)
$%*'`[biggirl]%*'`@Good 'testimony' H&S.
When we left our church, because of severe mis-doings or our 'pastor'in our tiny group, everyone knew we had been treated badly, and not one 'pastor' from the wider assemlbies could tell us what we had done wrong. However, when we told one of the Pastors we had to leave, the response was 'don't give up the race'. In other words, leaving the RF meant leaving the Lord! All our old friends of the last 12 years or so shunned us.
After a couple of years, we moved to another country, which happened to have a large RF assembly. Everyone thought we would go straight back into that church.
The main reason i would never enter the RF again, is because of the 'shunning'. If we go back everyone will love us again. If we don't they are hardly civil when we bump into them. (There are a few exceptions) THEy all know we haven't changed our beliefs, but will not have anything to do with us.
Who in their wildest dreams would want to go back to be amongst ssuch attitudes?????
No churches are perfect, but the ones we go to are a whole lot more perfect than that!!!
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Marmalade Pie
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3#
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Rank:Rookier III
Score:2100
Posts:96
Registered:30/12/2005
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(Date Posted:21/03/2006 12:59:41)
As an effective church in the Western world, THE REVIVAL FELLOWSHIP isn't looking too good. Many people now in their 40' who have been around for 20+ years are starting to question the legalism and control and are realising they are not the only Christians around.
Places like Sth Australia and Victoria have groups where leaders are not liked at all, but many people are still afraid to make a break.
Diotrephes in 3 John stopped the brethren from getting together and took it upon himself to put people out of the church. Sound familiar?
Of course the drying up of converts in the Western world will be interpreted as a symptom of "the last days". The RCI, Geelong Revival Centres, and the miniscule CAI will also be saying the same thing.
Four superiority complex ridden groups, all declining, none of them talking to each other, all rubbishing each other and all other Christian groups.
DONG.....DONG....DONG.......for whom the bell tolls.
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I know what you"re thinking....did I put 5 people out or 6?... I guess in all the excitement I kinda lost count myself...so the question is, do you feel lucky?...well do you, punk? - Clint Eastwood
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rebelsister
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4#
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Rank:Not a lurker
Score:870
Posts:39
Registered:05/12/2004
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(Date Posted:23/03/2006 03:33:39)
Reply to : Marmalade Pie
As an effective church in the Western world, THE REVIVAL FELLOWSHIP isn't looking too good. Of course the drying up of converts in the Western world will be interpreted as a symptom of "the last days". The RCI, Geelong Revival Centres, and the miniscule CAI will also be saying the same thing.Four superiority complex ridden groups, all declining, none of them talking to each other, all rubbishing each other
I wonder how they explain away the growth happening in many other pentacostal (and other) churches around the place. Some of my Christian friends from (shock horror) other churches are rejoicing in the amount of new people, especially youngies, filling up the seats in their congregations.
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MothandRust
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5#
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Rank:Ghost in the machine
Score:34610
Posts:1585
Registered:27/02/2004
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(Date Posted:25/09/2006 05:36:13)
    
And mother said I'd never amount to anything! This is going to be very self-indulgent mostly pointless, and all the rest so readers beware. Not sure whether to be proud of myself or full of sorrow for ten thousand lost minutes.. but it pays not to count like that... if I added up the amount of hours of my life I'd spent watching the Simpsons, Happy Days and MASH, I think I'd do away with myself with sharp instruments while driving fast. Anyhoo... maybe I'll shut up a little now that I've got to the grand mark.
On this momentous (haha) ocassion I'd love to thank some of the online people, friends and aquaintances who helped me through my transition from Revival life into normal life. I might even take the time to remember the regulars and former regulars while I take a walk down memory lane. If I miss someone it's either completely accidental or wholely purposeful. The Rust part of MothandRust knows who she is and I thank her for sticking by me through hell (ha.. hell.. been there, done that!)
Mr Te - My Northern hemisphere doppleganger. What can I say? A dedicated man and a voice of reason in a sea of idiocy... something like that. Thank you for your trust and for always being there with an answer. A true and tried online friend and I've always been a big fan of your work...
 
Joey - (infrequent reader -nonposter- and best friend) For helping me find some of myself... and for simply just being you. It was after I met you that I realised that people don't need to change themselves to make a God happy. Should he exist, he should love us just how we are. For all our faults and our bad habits.. we are the sum of our parts. Don't change kiddo.
Snakechic - Another longtime true and tried mate who has looked past my shortcomings. The forum was never the same without you... of course! haha... Always two steps ahead of me and always able to see through my crap to what was really going on. You are so insightful and compassionate - a true rock for me in that dark place last year - thank you (cliched I know... that's the mood I'm in).
 
.
 Dr PopeWazza Revivals Blood - Thanks for laughing at most of my jokes and being a good sport
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Be nice, for everyone that you meet is fighting a harder battle - Anita Roddick
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dogmafree
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6#
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Rank:Poster Venti II
Score:8300
Posts:355
Registered:21/02/2006
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(Date Posted:25/09/2006 06:32:22)
Well Moth,
Sincerest congratulations at arriving at your self-professed landmark! 1000 bags of gas that has made this forum what it is, well done!
Your post reminds me of an aspect of life that has changed for myself (and many others) since freeing myself from the RF................ THE VALIDITY OF SELF-CELEBRATION!
Good old Shirl used to sing, "EGO is not a dirty word" Bless 'is soul.
From within the mindset, if I did something good or worthwhile, GOD GOT THE GLORY, and wearing humility like an honourable garment was the done thing. If I did anything wrong, it was (of course) because of MY OWN FAILURE, and God gets off, every time. Funny that!
Anyway, a while after I left, I had my 40th birthday coming up. I thought about it and cast my mind back...... I could not remember any birthday I'd had in all the years I was in the RF! The last one I actually remembered was before I'd joined, (my 21st, a most raucous event with lots of sex, drugs, booze and self-indulgence)!
I had spend those occasions quietly in a numb state of depression and self contraction, without even knowing it. I see back now that I had allowed myself to exist within that state, taking emotional sanctuary there instead of allowing the full spectrum of human emotion to be alive within me.
Well I made a conscious choice to allow myself the indulgence of a 40th where I was the man of the day. I was celebrating ME, and enjoyed the day with friends and family joining me from the past and present. I made a theme for my party 'RECONNECTION' and had a most satisfying time. There were several old friends there that I hadn't seen for about 18 years, and it was just SO GOOD!
So MOTH, I say thanks for all your involvent here, and sharing your experiences with us all.
Good onya for making it YOUR HOUR of HONOUR!!!!!
the Dog.
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"for there is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so" Shakespeare (Hamlet, Act 2, Scene 2)
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mf doom
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7#
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Rank:Poster Venti I
Score:6090
Posts:261
Registered:13/03/2005
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(Date Posted:26/10/2006 05:41:38)
ok... now i'm starting to get emotional
as usual, i'm a month late to reply...
today i decided to read your testimony
(howzat for an ego?!)
it sounds like you're leaving... nooooo! first the revivalists leave me (in an inverse way) and now the two buddies i have neglected so badly... reminds me of funerals where the ones that cry are the guilty ones...
anyway, thanks for your props, one of the nicest things someone has said... you could have just said 'avenger dude, you are full of shit', but you did it in true moth style.
well, if im not mistaken, this is mainly a 'congratulations on your 1000th', so congratulations on your 1000th.
but i can't help but notice the weaning-off undertones too... well, as i told MR T, congratulations on that more than anything...
maybe you've noticed my weaning-off... except i didn't really have the courtesy to say bye... i think its because it wasnt a huge conscious decision on my part... and of course i knew that my 'weaning' was always going to be erratic an unpredictable... (as you can see i have so much more here to read... i've been kinda doing the reading 'moderately' all along and the writing in extreme bursts of silence and dumps.
(notice how it always becomes about me? well, that's the cool thing about this board. i am happy no-one really ever dissed me for that. these discussions with 'distant family' have been about finding out about rediscovering ourselves, expressing ourselves and redifing our identities IMHO)
anyway, i'll be around, cause i think i'll constantly be doing these things and have so much more to read here... and i haven't even started on the 'walk away' material yet.
WHAT I LIKE ABOUT YOU: definitely your openness and your ability to laugh at yourself. good intentions seem to ooze from your directions and no matter how much you try to be a heretic, or christian-basher, you just always seem NICE.
(hey, if christians can do it, why can't we tap each other on the back every now and then, huh?)
btw, not sure if you are completely aware, but i think we are contacts on each others' msn. even though im relatively unfriendly and private, i'm always there for you in the backgroud if you need me...
ACTUALLY... while we are all getting sentimental, ANYONE on this board is a friend to me. (not to make you feel less special - afterall, you have my REAL email address... that's not bad at all)
i guess my anonymity is less important with time, along with the intention to AVENGE my spiritual abuse.
i am actually semi sympathetic to all evil-doers... criminals including pastors etc. i feel that they are victims of the system too.
in a way, i see easing up on this forum as a sign of a certain satisfaction.... knowing there are others out there with the same experience... knowing that you have made a friend with a common, very personal experience...
also as a sign of forgiveness...
and it might be a sign of maturity... its a hard thing to accomplish in a world of confusion... i mean ask this scott williams character...
sometimes i think 'we're all babies man'...
then this forgiveness thing... it allows us the space to move on with our lives.
its just a suggestion, but its quite profound when you think about it... to think that that was the whole point in the first place and then organisations got legalistic about it... tried to enforce it... and trusted it so little that they had to build huge fences around it...
well, if they are reading this now, i hope they realise it was a BIG mistake.
maybe one day, my (previous) dream of a CLASS ACTION SUIT against 'them' will come to pass, however im willing to be indifferent to it and hope that the sheep still trapped there really need those conditions... and that part of our 'spiritual walk' IS overcoming those big fences, in the process learning how to get along without what is within those confines.
i see this forum as the exhaust fumes and excess baggage and i don't know what else to say to encourage you and mr t to convey that you guys are true overcomers in my eyes... the cool thing is, though, that when one gets to that stage, you almost dont need that kind of encouragement. its more a confirmation of what you already know, and at worst, just more ideology!
so, from one reluctant cult leader to another... or should i say, potential leader...
BREAK A LEG!
and
ONE DAY WE WILL HAVE A ROUND OF GOLF WHEN WE'RE ALL IN THE SAME COUNTRY...
(no i've never played before, but i mean, see you at the top of the mountain). in the meantime, see you at the crossroads, which are the posts in this forum, while it lasts...
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if it gives you joy, enjoy! life aint pretty without it
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MothandRust
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8#
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Rank:Ghost in the machine
Score:34610
Posts:1585
Registered:27/02/2004
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(Date Posted:26/10/2006 15:47:56)
Reply to : avenger dude and Dog
ok... now i'm starting to get emotional as usual, i'm a month late to reply... today i decided to read your testimony
(howzat for an ego?!) it sounds like you're leaving... nooooo! first the revivalists leave me (in an inverse way) and now the two buddies i have neglected so badly...
You can't get rid of the ghost in the machine. As Superman said to Lois in Superman Returns, "Oh, I'm always around". I'll be online as long as myself and others contribute donations to keep it running. Apparently, that's not too many. Nobody likes to tithe or anything close to it.. ha.
anyway, thanks for your props, one of the nicest things someone has said... you could have just said 'avenger dude, you are full of shit', but you did it in true moth style.
I feel just as guilty about not replying enough to your well thought out posts.
well, if im not mistaken, this is mainly a 'congratulations on your 1000th', so congratulations on your 1000th.
Not sure if I should be rewarded or encouraged, but I appreciate it. Thanks :-) 1000 rambles... I'm on the net a lot for work and pleasure and I find the human interaction exciting, plus I don't have the awkwardness of having to make eye contact or have to think about where to put my hands.
maybe you've noticed my weaning-off... except i didn't really have the courtesy to say bye... i think its because it wasnt a huge conscious decision on my part... and of course i knew that my 'weaning' was always going to be erratic an unpredictable...
It would be pretty sad if we didn't have regular and irregulars alike. Thanks for coming back every now and again. I've always wanted to do a nice big romantic departure message and disappear into the ethernet. Then watch all the posters pleading with me to come back, saying "Where's the Moth, we miss the moth... oh where oh where did he go?" It's a fun fantasy of mine.
(notice how it always becomes about me? well, that's the cool thing about this board. i am happy no-one really ever dissed me for that. these discussions with 'distant family' have been about finding out about rediscovering ourselves, expressing ourselves and redifing our identities IMHO)
It should be all about you. you're bloody important. I know I am... and frak anybody who would dis anyone for sharing about themselves. Yeah, the forum is about helping the poor poor souls who leave the cults, but really.. none of us are counsellors... the best we can do is show some honesty (or versions thereof) and see if people relate to it. I'm not going to pretend to be a nice guy... I do that at work. Here, I pretend to be someone else. The Internet is good for that.
WHAT I LIKE ABOUT YOU: definitely your openness and your ability to laugh at yourself. good intentions seem to ooze from your directions and no matter how much you try to be a heretic, or christian-basher, you just always seem NICE.
Oh, there's a spare bed for you in my house any day.. heh. I am bloody nice... (but I can be a self-centred male bastard too) and yeah, I think a lot of my anti-christian-ness comes from the disdain I had for pentecostals as a REVIVALIST! I really do. We just hated them.. we hated their music, their wishy washy doctrines and blah blah blah. On the other hand, I have grown into my own healthy dislike for anyone who tries to convert others into a narrow-minded life view such as the 'us verses them' mindset of Christianity.
i am actually semi sympathetic to all evil-doers... criminals including pastors etc. i feel that they are victims of the system too. i guess my anonymity is less important with time, along with the intention to AVENGE my spiritual abuse.
I have to admit I feel very empathetic for others when I see confusion or sorrow. I hate seeing people in pain. I have little sympathy for arrogance of Revivalists though... the arrogance of my online persona is a faux-arrogance, as you've picked up. you know, this forum is actually a very bad bad place for me personally, but I'm sometimes very self-destructive. I've often posted thoughtless and selfish flippant remarks that have hurt close friends deeply.
There's been more than a few times I've had to crawl and beg for forgiveness for the things I've said (often brought on by alcohol or late night sessions after feeding my sleeping pill addiction). Rather then give up posting I hoped to learn to be more thoughtful... I'm a very slow learner.
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Be nice, for everyone that you meet is fighting a harder battle - Anita Roddick
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mf doom
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9#
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Rank:Poster Venti I
Score:6090
Posts:261
Registered:13/03/2005
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(Date Posted:26/10/2006 17:46:52)
*stilnox: stillness for you, if they're still knocking ya*
well, it was a lame slogan that came to my head, to make light of a serious sitch.
i guess that digging-up and dobbing thing is a living example of why it may be beneficial to maintain anonimity... however, it seems that our 'spilling-of-guts' is a rebellion against having to do that... pushing the boundaries which are trying to still prevent us from being free to be who we are...
but i mean, really, if that is true what ill alien did, i guess i really 'pity the fool' (cultural reference - easy one), especially because when he/she is free, they will be quite ashamed of themselves too.
i mean, i could tell everyone that im pretty much hooked on smokes, i could drink their grandma's under the table (in the purest sense) and i smoke the herb whenever its around, but i guess i avoid that because i know (even if only through the biblical examples) that people are more ready to judge the man than heed his truthfulness and example.
so i wont... oh fuck it... yes i will.. and i'll even say that i think i bought a sleeping pill in a club the other night... the guy said it was '90% acid'!! yeah, we danced... sleeping pills are pretty big in this neck of the wood as part of a complete breakfast... i mean complete cocktail of recreational fun... but seriously, if it's insomnia, i hope that goes well... it usually works itself out eventually.
i might as well ramble on a bit more...
yeah, so on the drugs tip, the crazy thing is the paranoia... you actually start thinking of the system, 'god', technology and how 'everything can and will be used against you on that great judgement day'... i used to be on this car chat site for owners of the same car... under the 'stories' section, i told them of the night i was out with the boys and had a flat tyre, without having a spare... and how we drove around looking for ceratin vehicles with the same bolt pattern... anyway, we find a bmw, i ran over to it jacked it up and stole the front wheel and left it there on my jack...
terrible thing, which is definitely not something i would like to do to my fellow being (do unto others, karma, etc.), but hey, i was 'cool' for a day.
anyway, they wont delete the post and i often think about whether the police will eventually get me on that one!!!
funny and sad at the same time!
btw, should i mention that i was in the RF at the time and drink-driving? i guess not, because i hate drink drivers, so why shouldn't others? plus, i know there are people out there that know who avenger dude is...
so, really, what IS freedom?
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if it gives you joy, enjoy! life aint pretty without it
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mf doom
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10#
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Rank:Poster Venti I
Score:6090
Posts:261
Registered:13/03/2005
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(Date Posted:30/10/2006 05:48:58)
lol, i knew i'd regret certain parts of this outburst and justify my previous confession...
basically, i don't want to condone any of the things i mention, whether in jest or soul-baring...
so KIDS, DRUGS ARE BAD, M'KAY?
but so is judging others with a mote in one's own eye. find the balance kids.
and stay in school. don't believe the armageddon hype. and don't completely disregard evolution.
that's the free advice i have to help you reach 1000 healthy posts like moth. ok, i think i rounded it off a little better...
and i apologise if i am just passing on satanic ideology... but it's so comfy!
i really must get some sleep.
ps... if donations really become a major issue, i'm willing to support this or the next forum. i can send a postal order to some post box...
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if it gives you joy, enjoy! life aint pretty without it
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MothandRust
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11#
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Rank:Ghost in the machine
Score:34610
Posts:1585
Registered:27/02/2004
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(Date Posted:10/08/2007 18:26:33)
Get over yourself why don't ya! 
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Be nice, for everyone that you meet is fighting a harder battle - Anita Roddick
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MothandRust
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12#
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Rank:Ghost in the machine
Score:34610
Posts:1585
Registered:27/02/2004
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RE:The Moth and Rust story
(Date Posted:05/06/2008 07:15:47)
So it’s our 19th wedding anniversary this week, and I let this slip quietly to a workmate in the staffroom, knowing for some reason it was a mistake to do so, but not sure why. All ears seem to prick up. “19 years? And how old are you now, 36? How old were you when you were married, 14?” (we teachers ain’t too hot at subtraction sometimes). “Why on earth would you get married at 17?”, “Was it a shotgun wedding?“ Somewhat reluctant, yet polite and forthcoming, I admitted something along the lines of, ‘No, my then girlfriend and I fornicated and were therefore convinced that our ‘sin’ needed to be atoned, via marriage, at the request of the frakked up church we were in’. “Oh wow, you were in a cult?!“ ’No, no, cult is a very strong word… we weren’t quite that different from other churches… we did have our own language though.’ The response to this - riotous laughter. I may as well have been Tom Cruise explaining how Scientology was founded by an alien forefather named Xenu. We had our own language… sigh. And it took me 17 years to realise how remarkably messed up and ridiculous that is. Star Trekkian nerds who spoke in our own form of Klingon. To be honest, the act of glossallia (speaking in tongues) isn’t unusual in pentecostal christian circles, but our particular life sucking church, the Revival Fellowship (and Centres ‘International’) played on this ability to verbalise double dutch gibberish. I’ve cut and pasted that 17 years from my life and am trying to delete it from my clipboard. As a result, I sometimes feel I started my actual 18 year of life at the age of 32, but then I may have actually never matured past teenagehood if my Batman obsession since then is anything to go by. I was young and impressionable and I thought I knew all the secrets to the universe and am too embarrassed to list our creed of beliefs. Happily agnostic now and still interested in religion, but not as a lifestyle anymore, I enjoy studying a myriad of beliefs and am interested in exploring why people believe in the various superstitions and religions they fall into. From astrology to UFOlogy to organised religion, we seem to certaiinly want to believe things we cannot see or prove. I understand and remember this sort of ‘faith’ but won’t be falling for anymore bullcrap myself (respectfully appreciating that everyone is entitled to pursue what they consider to be their ‘truth’ - more power to ya). Someone told me today I was stupid to be caught up in that cult, and maybe I was. Thousands, millions, continue to delude themselves into thinking they are privy to a higher truth, and that the world needs saving. If I was stupid, I grew out of it. This year I turn 22 (that’s 37 in your ‘earth’ years).
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Be nice, for everyone that you meet is fighting a harder battle - Anita Roddick
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Guest
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RE:The Moth and Rust story
(Date Posted:05/06/2008 10:41:36)
"..................we seem to certainly want to believe things we cannot see or prove. I understand and remember this sort of 'faith'........."
Moth,
There's not much about faith in RCI/RF. Aah, but there is proof. You can have proof that God exists, they say. Why do you think when someone doesn't 'receive' in the tank they are hurried off into the seekers room to (I hesitate to say the word) diligently pray to receive the Spirit/tongues so that when they do, they can go home with their proof and their guarantee. And all the people said:- Amen.
Epi
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Still Set Free
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14#
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Rank:Lurker
Score:140
Posts:7
Registered:22/05/2008
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RE:The Moth and Rust story
(Date Posted:05/06/2008 23:18:22)
just reading your post scared back into a world long forgotten Epi.....
;-)
I sometimes forget what it was like
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Guest
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RE:The Moth and Rust story
(Date Posted:08/06/2008 06:35:40)
Hi there Moth hope all is well with you and your family. I have been a very busy little Christian preaching an uncompromising gospel here in Wollongong. How about you, seen any lives changed for the better lately? any miracles? ears still ringing? James 5:16 The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.
I recently moved into my new home overlooking the beautiful pacific ocean, Feeling pretty blessed right now.
God bless
Luke 7:35
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MothandRust
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16#
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Rank:Ghost in the machine
Score:34610
Posts:1585
Registered:27/02/2004
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Reply To Guest
(Date Posted:08/06/2008 21:24:09)
Hi there Moth
Hi cult dude
hope all is well with you and your family.
All good thanks.
I have been a very busy little Christian preaching an uncompromising gospel here in Wollongong.
Good for you. Sucking many in to your con now and then, eh?
How about you, seen any lives changed for the better lately? any miracles? ears still ringing?
I'm a teacher, so I hope that helping spread education makes life better if I do it properly... And no, I've never seem a miracle in my life, not a magic supernatural one anyway. Yes, ears still ringing, but habituated well enough over time, as anyone does who has tinnitus. Thanks for your cold-hearted fake empathy... Very Revivalish. James 5:16 The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.
or nothing at all... either way, I'm sure it's exactly as God predestines, yes?
I recently moved into my new home overlooking the beautiful pacific ocean, Feeling pretty blessed right now.
Ahh, materialism... sell all you have and give to the poor. I bet Hugh Heffner feels as blessed
God bless
Did I sneeze?
Luke 7:35
Jer 48:4
(Message edited by MothandRust On 08/06/2008 21:26:22)
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Be nice, for everyone that you meet is fighting a harder battle - Anita Roddick
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